My mum has breast cancer

hi

welcome to the online community, sorry you've had to come and find us

my daughter was 21 when I was diagnosed and my youngest son was 14

I know they struggled and I know that I could have done more to support them, despite me being the one having to deal with the diagnosis and treatment. 

Nobody gave us any advice or guidance on handling the situation. Emotionally we were all over the place. 

Talking helps and those first words are incredibly awkward but once they're out you can just get on with banter.  Me and my daughter had a little joke, I'd cough and she'd look at me quizzically and say, are you dying? and I'd say, not yet  

and we'd laugh, we still laugh about it as much as we can, you can't 'undo' what's happened you can only deal with it in any way you can.

I have no words to offer about your brother, 17 is far too young but also a very fragile age, I can only offer my thoughts and maybe prayers?

Finance !

The College or Uni will be able to help and DO NOT be afraid to play 'the cancer card'.   It is the card you've been dealt, it's not your fault, it's not anyone's fault but you will have to deal with it and you don't have to deal with it alone. 

The student union at which ever college or establishment you're heading for will have loads of information and hopefully someone to hold your hand through the grants and finances processes.

Which college ?  I can Google contacts for you

hugs

Carolyn

Hello, the college I am going to attend is Hereford College of Arts! 

They have said about a bursery but only 3 in 5 people get it. And the luck we are having rn I doubt I will get it:,( 

Hi ,

You might like to call the helpline to chat to one of our experts, they can help with a wide variety of things. Starting Uni is difficult enough, so do get whatever help you can to support you in place a.s.a.p. It will help lecturers and other staff to know what you're going through, so contact the counselling service as soon as you start. If you do find you feel low at Uni, try the students' help website. I hope everything goes well for you.

Hugs,

hi

https://www.hca.ac.uk/apply/fees-and-funding

that's the link to the college info but the helpline may also be able to offer advice as LoobyLoo suggested

I found that simply being affected by cancer didn't actually get that much in the way of financial assistance.  The gas and electricity companies were unsympathetic. 

Making contact with the staff at the college may well help them help you feel less lonely in your situation, they may have other students affected and there may be a group you could join. 

Having someone to confide in is incredibly helpful, my daughter found out several of her friends had been or were going through similar with their own mothers and I met up with one of the mothers and it made a massive difference being able to talk to someone who'd had a similar experience. 

What do you do in the evenings ? My lot seem to retreat to their rooms but we are binge watching Game of Thrones at the moment which gives us some quality time.

Carolyn

xx