Awake and up all night

Hey Rose  I think we both posted to Leah at the same time hon.

Hope you're feeling ok tonight sweetie xxx

That’s synchronicity for you! 

I’m ok thanks, just relaxed with an episode of Imperfect Women (Apple TV with handmaid’s tale Elizabeth moss).  They only release one a week.  You get so used to being able to binge in one go, it’s frustrating when you can’t.  And yet we grew up with no possibility of more than one a week!

I hope you’ll able managed to get a bit of a rest up earlier?

Yes love, I dozed off for about three hours earlier and am now wide awake!

Thanks so much for the links for the backrests - I'm going to order the one without arms. OH already has a V pillow so that should sit nicely on the rest when he gets it.

Cheers lovey xxx

Oh i do hope he finds it helpful.

glad you got some  

More shopping arrived earlier, including a couple of pairs of hospital slippers…..they will both  be going back on Monday!  But the plug and cable look good

I'll try anything that'll make things easier for him hon.

Now you get back to your viewing and I hope it will relax you enough to eventually doze off. I'm going to root out a podcast again.

Sleep well tonight sweetie. Hugs xxx

Thanks Gill, yes travelling back and fourth is tiring. I helped him get his trousers off for the first time last night, he'd had drips in both arms and with it being only one drip in one arm he felt able to change. I offered to have done it for him before but l think he didn't like the thought of his loss of independence with me or anyone doing it all for him.

Reminds me l had to be washed by nurses when l had my son as l had a bad tear and had reacted to the anaesthetic,  l was in such a mess l just had to go with it all.

But luckily hubby is not in that type of state though im worried about how ill he will feel.

PET scan Tuesday to finally show if it has affected lymph or spread.

We've had to tell family and friends now as we didn't up til now not to worry people. It's made me feel worse as its a clear reality now everyone knows and l feel overwhelmed plus folk are fussing a bit and l feel worse really 

Also because I'm the person who supports everyone else usually and there are many who need my support and l worry they will feel unsafe because im in trouble.

Yes l keep loosing all my messages, its the way the site works, not sure why. 

Hope all ok there. I keep waking up even though l got to bed fairly early.

I was at the ward as l helped hubby change and he was laughing as l was saying come on get your trousers off! It did sound like Carry on Matron at least we laughed lol

Morning Dingg

Thanks so much for the update my lovely. Hey, don't feel bad for telling others what's happened as they were bound to find out eventually, and it was right that it came from you. But Dingg, you need to stop feeling responsible for everyone else now, and put all your concentration and effort into hubby and yourself - it's not being selfish but sensible, and they must understand this. Start that mindset today and focus fully on that, as you'll need all your energy, for the foreseeable, for you both. They will fuss but as long as it's not upsetting you, leave them to it for now.

If hubby does have surgery, he'll most likely lose some of his independence during recovery and will then have to receive personal help from nurses and yourself. He'll also lose his dignity, to an extent, but will soon get used to that as a matter of course. Anyone who's had surgery quickly adapts, as most are too tired to feel any other way.

I saw what you told Rose about helping him with his trousers, and you're both injecting humour even now - that's the ticket!

Hey, I help OH every day with his needs as he's unable to do many things by himself now, such as bathing and dressing, but we're used to it and any embarrassment is long gone. It does feel like having a giant, heavy doll sometimes, but it's all part of the TLC package.

Tuesday's just around the corner, and you'll find out more and what to expect then. You're much stronger than you realise my lovely, and I'll have everything crossed that a way forward will be found for you both.

Sending love and warm hugs xxx

• Hey Rose thankyou for replying and I'm sorry to hear you're going through your own journey.

I Try to get out in nature st least once a day to give my crazy brain some respite from me lol.

I will be praying for you on Thursday girl we've got this.  Life awaits us after this brutal test 

Xxx