Awake and up all night

Hello. 

Welcome to the group. Sorry to read about your issues with pain and lack of sleep. The sleep thing is not nice. 
Sending hugs. x

Hello. 
It’s a really chilly one here tonight. The wind is making it feel worse. We maybe in for a cold Winter. 
We are quite lucky where we live, we don’t seem to get the weather as bad as some other places. 
I have probably just jinxed it now.

I do like the warm weather. Portugal sounds lovely. 
Hope you have had a lovely day? xx

Hi there Kez, and thank you hon, as we have had a good day.

Ooh the weather - you might have gathered what most consider bad weather, I tend to like it. There's nothing better than being inside when the wind howls and rain batters against the window, throw some thunder into the mix and I'm sorted. I even love being out in it too, and never take a brolly with me. Yep, bonkers.

I was chatting to Sian a little earlier, and while she really enjoys living in Portugal, along with all the beautiful scenery, the health system leaves a lot to be desired unless you're loaded and can go private. We can't have it all... unless you're loaded.

Hey, you can jinx the weather for me anytime! Hugs sweetie xxx

Anyone around about in early hours 2 or 3and even a

real wild one 4

 in a real night owl 

maybe c watch you later 

Hi Peggy glad to see you up & about

how's things -you have some replies to see on your other forum

hope to catch up later

take care xx

Hi again Peggy.

Are you feeling any better now lovely?  

Now I doubt I'll be playing night owls too long, as we've got an early start at ENT clinic so I need to be on my toes early doors. I think someone will be around and up for a natter though.

Might see you in a while, as evening care routine for my OH calls. Hugs to you xxx

Hi all, haven't been here for a while, been trying to keep regular sleeping hours cause I'm getting radiotherapy first thing 5 days a week... update is the end of six weeks of it finishes this Friday and it turns out that since I've handled all the treatments SO well they might be rewarding me with another course of paclitaxel lol... I'm not sure if I should be pleased about that or not... any thoughts gratefully received

Evening Steve, and it's good to see you back.

Well done on almost completing your RT - did you find it all went by quickly because we did, and I also can't believe it finished almost seven months ago. How's your leg, are you getting around ok now? Can't help with the chemo but I'm sure you said it made you tired but not too bad overall. Maybe that's why you're being given the 'gift' of some more. But everything will help, hopefully.

One last question - how's little Maggie doing? xxx

Hi Gill,

It did go by very quick, in a weird way I've kind of liked having a reason to get up every morning at least... I've eased off on the physio and rehab for now because I went for a a 3/4 mile walk uphill a couple of weeks ago and they got a little concerned about the swelling... yeah, just had fatigue with chemo mostly, but since developed a bit of breathing issues, maybe some permanent lung damage but not sure... 

Maggie is doing well... I've trained to give the paw for a treat and can even alternate between left and right lol... tried letting her off the lead on a walk once, she did well for a while, but then she must of caught a scent of something and ran off and into someone's garden. Had to go in after her... 

Hope you're both well and happy with how Leeds are doing so far

Hi Steve,

Thank you so much for the kind words! That's exactly how it was for me, I mean I was still a teen when I was first diagnosed, I didn't know anyone close to my age who had cancer. Only my aunt and her battle with breast cancer. Then suddenly you find yourself in complete shock upon hearing that you have cancer for the first time. It's safe to say that I now know more people with some form of cancer, than I do people who don't. Everyone on this site has experienced cancer in some way or another, and that makes us all warriors, even though we all have our bad days, and personal hardships with our journeys. 

I can honestly admit that I was incredibly naive, I just had an attitude that other people get sick, and that can't ever happen to me. Basically out of sight, out of mind. Whether it was my age or just that I was too busy enjoying school with my friends, I never wanted to accept it, but it was life over limb back then, and there was no time to wait.

Going through treatments and becoming an amputee at that age definitely matured me more versus my other friends. Suddenly my world consisted of hospital stays, and what felt like endless appointments, and then eventually I was able to start the prosthetic fitting process which took time as well. It was so hard for me as a teen becoming disabled for the rest of my life. I'd say I've adapted well since then even though I still have my trying moments. I stopped using my prosthetic for most of the time, I discovered I was faster on crutches and just kept my wheelchair for long distance activities. 

With everything I faced back then, you'd think I'd be better prepared to come to terms with my new tumor, but no matter what option I chose my life will be shortened with a lot more pain, and that scares me. I don't know how to decide, risk the surgery and become more disabled and have to overcome the psychological issues that come along with it, or just focus on my quality of life and allow them to manage the tumor and pain as best they can. I get lost in my thoughts daily, and I try to distract myself as much as possible. I know I need to decide at some point, but it's just hard to do when you're always sleep deprived and in pain. 

I'm sorry to ramble so much, my mind is so scatterbrained these days.

~Stacy