My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Good evening everyone. What a day you have had Claire. The most important thing is that you gave Alex a funeral you are proud of. I know how that feels and so do others on here. You must be exhausted. As for your in-laws, my advice is keep your distant for some time at the very least. Chris and I had little time for many of his family and some very hurtful things were said before and after he died. I was livid at the time as at the very least the things were thoughtless and selfish. One of his sisters had reduced my youngest daughter to a bawling wreck by the evening of his funeral. Focus on the fantastic job you did of his send-off and all the support you have had from your family and from Alex friends. Be really proud of the fact that he was so well thought of his friends were prepared to travel to be there. He chose his friends and his friends chose him which makes that relationship more important than some others. It doesn't really sound like you and your in-laws need each other in which case it isn't worth getting anymore annoyed about. Spend time with the people who are supporting you and rememer the great job you did today and how proud Alex would have been.

Hi Kev - how weird, I had a conversation with my son and his girlfriend about tattoos on Saturday. Chris had tattoos and so does my son. Stu's girlfiend is considering having one in memory of her grandad who died at Christmas. Chris and I had sometimes talked about whether I should have one but I could never justify it. On Saturday I must admit to giving it serious consideration. Maybe now is the time to have a tattoo in Chris's memory? Because you have mentioned it it is making me think somemore about it.

Lynne - you should go on the holiday. Helen sounds to have had a great time. Nice to have you back Helen. Sounds like it was a perfect rest and tonic.

I am less tired again today and trying very hard not to do too much tonight - need to stay in this calm place!!

Have a good evening everyone. Ailsa xx

Hi, all you lovely people
Kev - you've certainly travelled some miles this weekend, with a good few more to come. I'm off to Cornwall tomorrow to look after my mother for a few days, but coming back on Friday; otherwise we might pass each other on the M5!!!!!!!!!! how bizarre would that be!!

Lynne, I shall nag you from now on about this holiday if you don't tell those lovely sisters of yours a big 'YES'! You are right, you desperately need a break, and one is being offered to you - little H had a brilliant time, and if she can do it so can you!!!
just think, Lynne, all of this in October when it's cold and wet here and the evenings are dark and miserable.......................(a bit like now, in fact!)

Ailsa, glad you're in a calm place right now - that's good. i dare you - go for that tattoo; I've even found a design for you...............................


Christine, how are you doing?

for you, my friend.

claire - yours and alex's love story is one of the most poignant that i have been privileged to read on this site. I suspect that his family is actually jealouw of the obvious love that you share, and don't have big enough hearts to fully embrace you. As Ailsa says, just know in your heart that you did your Alex proud, and your own family, and your and alex's friends will help you through this black time. Feel sorry for them, Claire, they are missing out on a big part of alex's legacy by excluding you. he will always be in your heart and soul, so don't waste your emotional energy on them (easily said, I know).

Some hugs from me to you - please keep posting, we all try to help each other through the bad times, and celebrate the good thing together.

Kaz, where on earth are you? If you're having a down time, then it's time to post and tell us!!!

missing you

Sue x