My wife died in October 2023, and I have been struggling with things ever since then. Recently, I had a routine appointment with a nurse at my GP's surgery. The nurse was a locum who had no knowledge of my wife's illness and death but, during the appointment, she made the mistake of asking me how I generally was. So I told her - and I guess she got more than she bargained for, because I have since been referred to the mental health nurse, who is now recommending that I start taking antidepressants (specifically, Sertraline.)
I am, for sure, profoundly sad - but I am not sure that I am clinically depressed. And I am pretty wary of taking drugs which might alter either my thinking, or my mood. However, I am willing to accept any help that is offered to me.
Has anybody else here taken antidepressants in the course of dealing with the calamity which has befallen us all? If so, what were your experiences? Did they help?
Thanks in advance.
I was issued Mirtzapine back in I think May.
Mostly to help me sleep as I was getting to bed 3am and up again at 6. But also to try and “lift my mood”. Like anything would do that!
I stopped taking them after a month as I was a zombie. Not at all safe to drive and my 90yr old mum is getting her own back as I am one her cabbie 
They helped with the sleep a little, but exhaustion had the same effect.
They made me feel numb, so I was walking around in a daze.
My family and friends became concerned for me in a new way, not just the grief way.
Last month, after a session with the mental health nurse, she is brilliant, she suggested I try again, on half dose to see if it benefited me.
I’ve not actually taken any yet.
I do sleep a bit better now, getting to bed at 1 or 2am.
My mood is no better. But then my grief is no better.
And I will admit, on here, that I feel “wrong” if I take them.
I am in deep, raw grief (nearly 11 months).
I expect to feel crap. For a very long time. I accept that. Doesn’t make it easier accepting that though.
This is going to maybe sound or come out wrong - but I am here. My beautiful Valen is not. I should feel all the pain I can, not have it taken away, removed.
But everyone, as we know, is different. And what is right for one, doesn’t work for another.
Sending some hope over to you x
