My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Oh Ailsa , i can only begin to imagine how your feeling . Life is moving fast and what do we want ? our old life back . I wish i could give you words of wisdom but i don't have any , i can only send love and hugs and hope you feel better today .

My brother is okish thankyou but its has really thrown dad , as i posted in POA , it sent me into panic mode and it did the same for dad , i have to remember he's a widdower too and a not very well one .

Send love and hugs to Fiona too as i know her dad isn't well either

Looking forward to manchester next sunday to meet a few penguins ..

Lots of love to you all

Lynne xxxx

Hugs for your dad to Patricia xxxxxxx

Oh, Patricia, Ailsa and Lynne

I feel so much for all of you. Ailsa, I understand how your emotions must be so mixed with regard to Becky - we want our children to be happy and to lead their own lives but by doing so we have to cut another thread loose. Alice is planning to move in with her boyfriend as soon as she gets a teaching post; I am happy for her, and they have a good relationship, but selfishly dread the day when the house is empty apart from the dog and the cat. 

Patricia, that must have been so very frightening for you, and Lynne, I understand totally your feeling of panic. My heart goes out to you all - this is a bumpy road, and events such as you are experiencing  make us realise just how fragile we still are. 

take care, dear friends

The huddle is getting bigger by the day.

xx

Hopefully bumping this to the top for chrisie's friend xx

Thanks Sue, told her about site when hubby was ill but she couldnt get any where, hope now she will have the time to give it a go, Take care Ann xx

Ann, if you save this to your favourites, then between us we can bump it up on a regular basis, otherwise it gets lost very quickly.

So sorry to hear about your friend's loss - you have had a rough few weeks, haven't you.

Big hugs for you

Sue xx

Hi Sue .....I really do hope she gets here, as her mum is suffering with bc as well, she works as a secretary for a consultant skin cancer specialist so could give a lot as well, this I know she would like, they thought her hubby had beaten it but it came back with a vengance. I went to school with her and our first jobs were at the same place, they bought a camper and took them over a year to get to aussie, her sister allready there so they decided to stay, then mum and dad joined them... Take care Sue, think I may well crack up soon or just hit the gin xx Ann

Evening everyone.  Special hello to Chrisie.  Sorry for the delay in getting on here.  It really isn't as easy as it used to be which makes it such an effort.  I will try more often though because I still feel I need this site and I miss you all posting like we used to do.

Lynne I hope your brother is much better by now and your Dad as well Patricia.

Thanks for the encouragement last weekend when Becky & Hamish got engaged.  I thought it would get easier once I was allowed to say something about it on facebook etc but it really didn't.  It is hard letting them go isn't it Sue and I know you will feel it when Alice moves in with her boyfriend.  I thought I was used to this already.  Becky originally left home 14 years ago when she was only 17 and moved 200 miles away.  Stu & Toni have been left home a good long time as well.  It looks like Becky will move to Scotland once she & Hamish marry and it is also very likely that the wedding will be in Scotland.  I will miss them badly but I will visit loads.  My biggest problem with all this is something I hadn't anticipated - it seems to be even worse not being able to share good news with Chris than it is not having him for support when things are not going so well.  I have been an emotional wreck this past fortnight and it has steadily got worse with each day.  I ended up in tears at Becky's yesterday.  Now I have had a good cry I seem to be a bit better so hopefully it will pass very soon.  I have also been buying a replacement car at the same time.  I have bought a rav4 because of the 2 bad winters we have had.  It is a lovely car and Chris would love it.  It is a similar size and colour to a freelander he bought me a few years ago & I know he felt like I was really safe in it.  It is just such a blow not being able to show it to him.  Plus, old fashioned or not there was woman work and man work in our house :-), horses for courses and making the most of your strengths and all that.  I have never bought a car in my life before this one.  I bought a car from my son last summer but that is not the same at all and now he has bought it back after I have fixed everything on it for him!  At least I know it is safe now!  I have had a really difficult 2 weeks and now I hope it settles down a bit.  I even have a mouth full of ulcers which will be because I am not eating or sleeping properly.  I feel like a real wimp because this has upset me so much but I think it is a lot to do with a lack of sleep, which a few of you will know all about.

Anyway I will do my best to get back on an even keel now.  I hope Chrisie's friend finds her way to us very soon and I hope everyone else looking in is okay and maybe even has something nice planned for the weekend.  Im so tired again I think I should just take myself off to bed and see what tomorrow brings.  Take care everyone.  Ailsa xxx

Ailsa, I am so sorry to hear that you are in such an emotional state at the moment. Such a happy occasion should give is a boost but somehow only serves to magnify our own situation doesn't it? I remember so well how I felt when my son was planning his wedding. I was both happy and sad at the same time. I hope you start to feel a little better very, very soon. Remember I am always only a phone call away x x (ooh get me.... Mrs I can solve your problems.... NOT). I am sure Rosemary will understand completely.

Lynne, I hope your brother and your dad are improving in health.

Is everyone else doing ok? These shorter days and darker nights can be very depressing. When you get home and need to draw the curtains earlier it is somehow quite isolating but can also be quite comforting in that you can shut out the rest of the world if you want (that is if the flippin phone doesn't keep ringing with unsolicited calls).  I am going through a woe is me time at the moment, but I am trying to overcome that. Nothing specific just general 'why has my life changed so much through no fault of my own?' By now I would have thought I was used top it but I guess it hits at any time and anywhere.  Oh well, upwards and onwards eh?

Sending lots of penguin support to all who need it.

Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x