My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Hi Sue & Gayle. Here's a pic of Becky & Declan in Weymouth. Declan will be 9 at the end of August.

I'm glad your client said don't look too far ahead because it is daunting Gayle - makes me feel better about handling it that way. I wasn't sure that was the right thing to do but if others do it it can't be too wrong. I suppose it is only the same as the advice to take one day at a time. I am still a little sad when I look at my holiday pics but Chris would have been proud of me for going. I drove about 1,000 miles in the past fortnight and also drove on several roads I have never driven on before. Chris loved to shop so I went into Weymouth and shopped. I think the really good thing is that even though I don't like doing things without him I motivate myself to do things by doing them because they are the things we would have been doing if he was there. At least it guarentees I don't sit around and mope.

I am sure shopping in France will be far more interesting than shopping in Weymouth - make the most of it for all of us who are not going!!

Sue - I still have to work on him riding his bike even if it takes till he has kids of his own!! It is so funny because Chris & Stu are so 'outdoorsy' and Declan so isn't! They love football, golf and cricket and hate 'bad light', Declan just hates fresh air fullstop. It's comical. His DS broke on holiday so Nanna needs to get him a new one for his birthday or the world might just stop. Ailsa xx

Good evening everyone. Hello again Christine and hello Patricia. I can empathise with the inability to make simple decisions. I also get things wrong because I don't think I am ever really concentrating 100%. Going back to work tomorrow will be interesting in that case. I am not really looking forward to going back tomorrow which is very unusual for me. Although the last fortnight has taken a long time to go by I have enjoyed it and I have done loads. It almost seems a shame to go back.

We have a lot of the same issues in our house Christine about the things that Chris will miss. None of our children are married yet and we only have one grandson. I know it is very hard on the others who will have children in the future but Chris will not be there. Chris always wished his Dad had met our children. There is never a right time for them to go though so there will always be things they should have done first and I suppose it is part of the process that we have to find ways to deal with these things in the future and at the same time support our children. I will do things without Chris in future but I need some more time first and no doubt I will need the support of friends to do those things.

Watch out for the brain cell tonight Sue - protect it, don't work it too hard! Take care everyone. Ailsa xx