My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Good gracious I have struggled to get back on here tonight, no trouble earlier then I went away to talk to Geordies "other mummy" and when I came back it would not work for me!  Anyway wanted to wave to you all (although it seems quiet tonight maybe you are all battling the technology too) and say hi to Malc, hope you find what you are looking for and welcome to our little group.

Sue your advise to Gayle was very good, coming from a teachers perspective makes a lot of difference too.  As mothers we can sometimes seem to overeact to things or feel others are undereacting (is that a word) but glad you agree that the teacher in question was out of line and should have thought a bit, if she can't be aware of the children in her class and their needs then who can?  Bless Jamie Gayle and a big hug for both of you xxx  Welcome to the world of time off AFTER the school holidays Sue, it's a time to shop without crowds of children and harrassed mothers, long lunches and late mornings when you want them., join me for a dog walk or two - that is when the boys aren't wanting to go out at 7 a.m. (although that can be a wonderful time when the sunshines and the dew sparkles on the grass)

Father in law is STILL waiting for pain relief, "the man" was meant to be getting back to them on Tuesday and hey ho here we are Wednesday evening and still nothing.  Sister in law is getting on the phone again tomorrow, is it really too much to ask for him to be comfortable and maybe able to get downstairs and sit in a chair for a while?  Why is it when it comes down to the smallest desires we still can't make it happen?  He did enjoy some of my apple crumble though.

I shall post this in case the connection gets lost and will come back tomorrow, hope you are all ok and sending lots of love and hugs - the ledge is open, as always, drinks will be served shortly and I think I know where there is a packet of Fox's chocolate shortcakes! xxxxxxxxxxx

hi, Rosemary

I should be delighted to walk the dogs with you - as soon as i make the slightest movement in the morning, Maddie starts shouting from downstairs and doesn't stop until she has had her breakfast and been for an hour's walk. Beeley-dog is content with the breakfast  and a short amble around the block - she will be 13 next week and is like her human, a bit arthritic!

I like this 'being at home' malarkey:  might get used to the little snooze after lunch.......

Love to all

Hope you're feeling a bit better now, gayle

sue xx

Evening all , i struggled to get on earlier to Rosemary , i was blameing my internet again oh well at least we're on now . Welcome to Malc and any other newbies , i'm sorry i've forgotten names now , this is late for me to be posting lol . Anyway i wanted to say , keep posting , you'll always get good advice or even just a ear to listen . Malc, there are lots of meets , happening in the next few weeks , a few men are coming to london i think , and we sometimes have just little meets in manchester . I'm sure lovely Lesley will keep you posted (yes we love her too )as fr advice on dating , well just a little tip come to me for advice and not Gayle ha ha ..(love you really Gayle ) xx

 Sue , what fantastic advice to Gayle (as always ) . hope Jamie is ok today . Gayle , no probs , you just keep bending my ear , it takes my mind off my problems lolxx

 I've had most of my electrics done today , he's got to come back tommorow and finish off but thats another job finished , still waiting for my son in law to sort some windows out for me and then i can get a decorator in , so i'm getting there at last .

 I've been keeping up with the jogging/walking / tripping /slipping , i've been going twice a day now , but only for about 15 mins each time . I'm still enjoying it but i cant get my dam hula hoop to hula ,(not whilst i'm running by the way )  Patrica , i'm sure its faulty lol , i'm swinging and swaying but the dam hoop will not go round more than 3 or 4 times and Patricia is on 300+ ", i can and i will" as Gordons mother used to say , so i'll just keep trying . Anyway its way past my bed time , i'm usually up at 5 this week

. Love and hugs to all Lynne xxx

Evening everyone.  I have struggled with this site as well tonight so I am a bit late.  Welcome Malc.  The others have said it all already but you will find them all wonderfully supportive and our meets are something to look forward to.

Sue I have to echo Lynne and say that was excellent advice to Gayle.  I would always recommend writting a letter in frustrating situations like that where you just don't feel as though the person you are talking to is 'getting it'.  Gives you a chance to say what you need to say without being interrupted as well.

Rosemary the thought of your apple crumble has made my tummy rumble - flippin diet!!!  I think they might sack me at the slimming club tomorrow anyway given a bit of luck.  Declan's birthday & the bbq have meant I have gone nowhere near a diet this week.

Patricia thanks for your concern.  I do listen you know but right now I think I am quite powerless to slow down.  I think I am stuck on this ride until Becky moves into her own place.  I should probably just stop the work on the garage but that would mean it might not get done this year so I will keep at it and then have a lovely rest.

Talking of lovely rests Sue.  I hope you are enjoying your new status for the time being.  No doubt you will get bored at some point but you have earned the rest for now.

Helen I am glad to hear your first day at your new job went so well.  I hope you have had a lovely time with G this evening.

Lesley it is lovely to hear from you.  I hope you are doing fine.

Sorry - I forgot to welcome Whyus the other evening so a very warm welcome to you as well.  Fiona, Lynda - sounds like you have both been enjoying grandson time.  Becky is away with work just now so I have mine to myself for a few days this week and again next week.  He is a little older but lovely company and not at all exhausting anymore.

Lynne I saw your photos from the weekend on FB - looks like you were having a good time.  Hope the hula hoop starts hulaing (??) very soon!

Right - time for bed.  Take care everyone.  Ailsa xx

Hello all

Welcome to Malc, I know you will find lots of friends here.

Sue, I am glad you are not bothered by the start up.  I am right into it now, seems like there never was a vacation and I have only been there 3 days!  School doesn't start until Tuesday.  Gayle, Sue's advice was right on, we would not tolerate a teacher behaving like that. 

I am glad to be back working and with people around though.  It is tiring, especially for the start up and so much to deal with, many new students coming in and buses to sort out but it keeps me from thinking too much.  Last Friday was 10 months and I had a very difficult weekend but once again pulled myself back up and am ok for now.  Somedays I just wonder, what is the point of it all but I do carry on.  Trying to get the dog out for long walks in the mornings but it has been very very hot here and he doesn't want to go very far. 

Hugs to everyone

Bren

Hi Gayle,

That's no problem luv (if you watch Corrie you'll know that us Northern English call everyone luv as a normal as opposed to a term of endearment - mindyou, Lesley may have told you that already!!!) Speaking of Lesley, I called her last night and asked about the Glasgow meet. I now know that it's your meet but I don't think I'll be able to make it. If I'm not abroad working as I hope to be, if it's the first weekend of October as Lesley thinks it is, I'll be in Burton-on-Trent for a football game. I'm from Stockport and you can stick the Premier League....well , you know where! I'm a County fan and we've never played Burton before so I'll be there.

I'll meet you one day though I'm sure of that.

The story I told you yesterday was totally true though I got the date wrong. I laid Berni to rest on the 13th March 2009 so the match must have been on Sunday the 22nd. It was on Dutch TV with a 12:30 KO hence the sun shining over the stand at 3 in the afternoon.

I read your story on your profile. So, so sad.

You've got to keep your chins up for your kids. Keep on keeping on Gayle,

Luv     Malc. xx

Oh, and hello to everyone else!!!

Malc they are all northerners here so you won't need to explain your idiosyncrasies too much and hands off our baby penguin she has a young man lol! Well I say all but a few of us are southerners, Bren is a foreigner completely and is in Canada (don't mean that in a derogatory way Bren dear, you are a lovely foreigner and you speak English so even better, laughing-out-even-louder!) we even have Dave on the Isle of Wight which of course is foreign English. How is Lesley, we were worrying a bit about her as haven't heard much lately, please send our love if/when you speak next.

Ailsa apple crumble is completely allowed as it has fruit in it and so therefore good for you!  And if you can't slow down then you need the extra engery my love, so Doc Rosemary has prescribed it.  What with your diet, Lynnes Hula hooping (and Patricia, you are a bit quiet you haven't tangled with yours have you?), Judi's piles (hee hee) I think I will have to open surgery times on the ledge, I will get my herbals out and some interesting juices and start concocting a brew...... will be back later. xxxxx

Hello everyone,

Thats a shame you can't make the meet Malc.  The London one is the first weekend in October (the 1st I think) and the Glasgow one is on the 22nd October.  We do have them regularly though and hopefully Dave (our other gentleman on this group) will make the London one.  You are definitely a typical bloke with your footie!!  Davie is a big footie fan too.  I also read your story and it too is very sad.  I am so sorry that you lost both your son and wife.  Life is unbelievably cruel.  Rosemary, you are funny and I LOVE being called the baby lol.  I am going to be 35 in 2 weeks time and dreading it.  Time is marching on and I hate getting older.  Not much I can do about it though except lie about my age lol.  Think I will just be 34 on this birthday too :-)  Patricia, you are very quiet - is everything okay?  Sending you hugs.  Lynne, have you tried the hula hoop on the wii to help you practise.  I haven't used one for years so you are doing better than me :-)

Well I suppose I better do some housework.  Trying to get organised as I am away first thing Saturday morning to Manchester and really looking forward to it (if I could just find some energy from somewhere).  Boyfriend is home tonight and is supposed to be coming over tomorrow so won't have a chance to get much done then.  And hopefully the caravan will be sold this weekend.  This saga is never ending!!  I put it back on Ebay and had a lot of interest as I dropped my price so I have two viewers this weekend that my dad is going to see too so fingers crossed. 

Take care penguins.

Gayle xxx

Hi Esme,

                With me being a newbie I don't know where everyone is from so, but I called Lesley last night and she told me the baby penguin is a Scot. I've had a PM off Fiona and I know she's Scottish too. As for the rest of you, why don't you all tell me a little bit about yourselves so that I can learn who you all are. Add me to your friends lists. I love the way I've been made to feel so welcome on here and I am really looking forward to attending my first meet with you all (whenever that might be.)

As I alluded too above, I get around the country a fair bit watching Stockport so if you're in or near a town with a team in League 2, then I can always say hello to to you when I am in your town.

Lesley is just fine Esme. I met her for lunch in Manchester on Monday. She is a lovely, lovely lady isn't she?

See you all soon,

Malc. xx

Hi everyone.  I hope everyone has been okay today.  I bet it is nice and distracting being back at work Bren.  I wonder the same most days - what is the point.  I always get on with it as well but some days it is more difficult than others.  Then usually something nice happens and I understand what the point is at least a little.

I am a bit calmer this evening than I have been for a while which unfortunately probably means that it is Becky that is tipping me over the edge right now.  She is away with work for a few days and it is just Declan and I here for now.  Becky was always hard work.  She doesn't mean to be and she would be upset to know she was so I will just make the most of this short break to recharge ready for her coming home tomorrow.  She is away again next week as well for a few days and then I am away for most of a week visiting the Scottish penguins.  They will be moving into their own place by the end of September so things will be okay again then when we each have our own space.  This can't be easy for Becky either.

I have also had two bits of good news today.  I lost 1.5 lbs this week and it looks like I have some good news about my youngest daughter.  Sorry to be mysterious but you will all know what it is like - can't say much till I know for sure.  Only thing I can say is that this is nothing to do with babies.

Rosemary I think even the idea of your apple crumble gave me a bit more energy - thanks Doc x

Gayle I hope the caravan goes this week.  Have a great time in Manchester.  You deserve it after recent events.  I am doing another run south to Becky's house tomorrow.  If I am really lucky this will be the penultimate trip.  At worst there may be 2 more so the end is in sight.

Malc no doubt we will get to meet you soon but in the meantime - enjoy your footie.  Thanks for letting us know Lesley is doing okay.

I hope everyone else has a good weekend.  Take care.  Ailsa xxx