My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Hi All

Bren sorry you had a bad night last night hopefully tonight will be better. Gayle if you take Ibuprofen you can also take paracetamol 2 hours later  which means you can have something every 2 hours  until you have had the maximum amount for the day. At least that should help keep the pain away. Like most of you I have loads of stuff needing done in the house but am still having problems with my shoulder since I fell in June, the physio said I now have a frozen shoulder and she will give me a cortisone injection next week I could not have one sooner because I had fractured my arm as well as chipping my shoulder. I have been trying to keep busy organising my Clairvoyant evening on the 8th Sept still have some tickets left though but whatever we raise will go to Leukaemia Research and Mac. I am doggy sitting today and am shattered its harder than a baby. Bren we don't have the Bank holiday in Scotland it's an English one we get ours next month which will be Bert's birthday so I am not looking forward to it. Must go and take this dog out for another walk

Love Teri

Evening girls

Have just been catching up with all your news......And first thing I want to do is get you all together for a big ((((((((group hug)))))))))) so many feeling down and upset.  Wish there was a magic wand somewhere near at hand to wave away all your pain.

My retired brain cell refuses to function and when I make notes they make no sense.  Someone that does make perfect sense is Judi - as always........Well at least I think I know what you're trying to say...that only when tragedy strikes in whatever way do you realise what is important............Wealth, property, big cars - things we all probably aspire to - mean nothing at all when serious illness and loss of our loved ones becomes our everyday life.  Alan's continuing ill health and my own health scare last year have shaken me up and made me realise that I don't need much in the way of material things...........Just to have my hubby and sons be the best they can be........... for all of us to love and support one another........that's what counts!!!!!

Love and many comforting (((((hugs)))))) for you all

Dot xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Evening everyone,

Never a truer word Dot xx  Things that we all took for granted before our lives were hit by devastation but oh how I would turn back the clock.  Patricia, thanks for the kind words and thank you for the advice on the pain (and yours Teri).  I have been taking co-codamol and ibuprofen together but have to be careful as I am starting to feel I have taken too many.  What a rubbish day I have had and feeling very sorry for myself so thought I would post it on here and maybe if I write it down it will make me feel better.  Just feeling rubbish physically with pain and nausea (from the painkillers) which has made me very weepy.  Missing Wully, missing my old safe life.  I was supposed to have the caravan sold today but the people that came to see it tried to get me to knock another £500 off it thinking I was desperate (which I am) but I told them no.  So still stuck with it and getting increasingly frustrated with the hassle of it.  I have now contacted a couple of dealers and even though they will give me less that it is worth I just want rid of it.  I never went up to do the sale and sent my dad (who I haven't seen yet) so he will be fizzing with me too.  And because I am feeling low I am snapping at my boyfriend and with it being an early relationship I feel bad about that.  He did tell me off tonight though when I apologised for being down, as he said that he is just worried about me and doesn't care if I am sick or grumpy or whatever and that our relationship is based on more than just having fun times which did help but still feel rubbish and he has been checking up on me loads to make sure I am okay but hate telling him how rubbish I feel even though he says he wants to know.  He wished he was was here to give me a cuddle and I wish that too although he will be home on Thursday (and I so hope I feel better as I don't want him seeing me like this even though he insists that I am being silly).  I have done hardly any clearing out because I was so mad about caravan and also feeling poorly and I just watched the last episodes of Frasier (my favourite programme which I watch reruns of every day) and balled my eyes out all the way through them.  Dont think I am safe to watch the X Factor so will save that for tomorrow :-)

On a positive note I met a new widow today who most of us have on FB and she lives 5 minutes from me.  She was lovely and ended up staying 2 hours and we just chatted about our lives and we had quite a lot in common.  She is a few years older than me and has two kids who are the same ages as mine.  Jamie actually knew her little girl through a summer camp he attended locally.  So the kids played great for a couple of hours whilst we had a cuppa and a chat.  And yes I gave her advise Lynne - oh dear maybe I shouldn't have :-)  And on another positive note because I don't feel well my diet is off to a roaring start!  See I suppose it does help writing it down as now I have found 2 good things about the day.

Anyway I am off to bed with my hot water bottle (thanks for reminding me about that Patricia) some more pain killers and hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.  And if I am still miserable you all have permission to come and kick my backside as this is not good and thats probably what I am needing.  Or alternatively you can all come and clear out my house into the skip and I'll go back to bed!  (thanks for the tip Judi about the council - I will look into that).

Love to you all (and sorry for moaning).

Gayle xxx

Forgot to say, Helen, hope you have a lovely time tonight and I am sure it will go well.  Enjoy being happy xxx

Hi all, Like others on here I read the posts + then my bird brain has forgotten who's said + done what [[ typical scatterbrain - mind I've been playing cooking with pegs + milk saucepans + dancing about the room singing nursery rhymes with the toddler. Hope all who are going or have been on their hols are enjoying + for those who are getting rid of clutter the best way is to give the council a ring + hey presto they actually do come + take it away I'm still going through stuff hubby hoarded, could stock a shop with videos + dvds. To those of you who are in pain or having a down day <<<< BIG HUGS >>>> love Lyndaxx

Evening everyone.  I have been reading all your posts and making lots of notes but I am still very tired so posting this late at night is not easy.  I will keep this brief and come back on in the morning.  Don't know why I am still so tired.  It was Declans 10th birthday today and he has had a lovely time.  I have about 14 people coming round for a bbq tomorrow for his birthday as well.  I am feeling more than a bit dejected which really isnt helping when I am tired as well as I had a terrible experience in an interview this week with an Investors in people guy.  My senior manager has complained but even that has not lifted my spirits.  I am not making any sense I know because I am tired so I am sorry for that but don't seem to be able to cheer up properly since it happened.  It especially rubbed my nose in the fact that Chris would have been here to talk to about it and laugh about it before - sorry, rambling.

Fiona I hope you have recovered from your very long Thursday trip now.  Gayle I hope you wake up tomorrow feeling a lot better as well.  Take care everyone.  Ailsa xxx

Oh, Ailsa, I hope that things seem a little brighter in the morning.

Sue xx

Morning all.  I slept well so that has helped a bit.  I am still very down though.  Thanks for the hug Sue - that brought a smile to my face.  Im not at all sure what is wrong but I don't seem to have any enthusiasm for being with people right now.  That is likely to be a problem today as I am expecting a house full.  I will get on and do it and smile especially as it is for Declans birthday.  They are a few more people coming than there might normally have been because my brother and his 3 kids are visiting my mum & dad.  My mum & dad were suppose to be away this weekend so now there are 7 more people coming than when I first planned the bbq.  Just seems like a lot more smiling when I don't really feel like smiling.  To be honest I think I would rather be working on the garage which I haven't done anything to since I finished the floor during the week.  Becky is taking Declan out for the day tomorrow so I will be able to do a lot tomorrow - just need to be patient.  I just don't seem to be able to shift the thought that Chris seems so far a way right now.  Anyway - I am sure we will have lots of fun later and that will make me feel better.

Terir that's great that you have booked into the hotel for the Saturday night as well.  I am really looking forward to meeting you at last.

Gayle I hope you are feeling a lot better this morning.  What with the caravan being a problem and you not feeling well it is hard to be cheerful.  I hope the 2 things turn a corner soon and then you might feel a bit better.  I don't know whether manchest is work or play but either way I hope you enjoy.

How are you today Fiona?  Your Mums birthday on Friday when you were tired after such a long and difficult day the day before must have been hard.  When does Darren get back from the Leeds festival.  there seem to be warnings on all major roads round here because of the festival.  Patricia is probably even more aware of it than me as she is even closer to it.

Lynne it is good that your dad's stitches are out.  You sound to have had a hard time this weekend so I hope Sunday is a better day for you.

Helen how was last night?  Its a big step intorducing your BF to your old friends.  Hope it went well.  I hope you get the decorating and the gutters sorted very soon.  It was a good idea to go to chat to Paul - it must seem things in your life are moving fast but he would be very proud of you.

Morning Judi.  I am so ready for my trip up to Glasgow.  It will be nice to see you, Fiona & Teri.  What you said about your friends in trouble makes perfect sense.  My whole outlook as changed since losing Chris.  When were your friends coming round to help with the clear out - I can't remember.  Hope it went well and you are much more ready for the move now.

Going to post in case I lose this !!!

I feel a little brighter just for posting on here so that ahs to be good!!!  Bren you are sounding very industrious ready for going back to work.  I really should cook and freeze for myself - especially now I have joined a slimming club.  I am always impressed when I read you have been doing that.  It would help my weight lose I'm sure.

Good luck with your diet Gayle.

Teri I am sure your Leukemia fundraising night will be a big success - good luck with it.

Dottee hi - if you see this is it easy to find the penguin crafting things specially named after Percy?  I would like to get hold of some.

Lynda I hope the babysitting has gone okay and your not too worn out.  Well I can hear signs of life in this house so it is time I started getting ready for my visitors.  They are due around 2pm.  I hope it stays dry as that will be a big bonus.  Have a good Sunday everyone.  Ailsa xxx

Morning girls

(((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))) for everyone - I think many have hit a black spot just now and are in need of a ((hug))........

Dot xxx