My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Morning everyone,

Well we are quiet just now!  Patricia your music event sounded fantastic and always nice when something like that comes along and isn't planned.  Helen, I'm sure it will be hard when Liam goes but I think it is lovely that you have Paul's family so close to you to give you such support.  You and poor FIL having a cry - bless xxx  Lynne, hope you are doing okay for tomorrow.  Amanda, glad that you are bearing up okay.  I am sure the next weeks are going to be difficult but I can promise you that it will get easier.  Fiona, I hope that you had a nice time at the wedding.

I'm not up to much today.  Wully's niece very kindly offered to babysit for me tonight but I was feeling kind of rubbish yesterday with a cold and ladies stuff - feel a bit better today but think I will just stay in as not quite 100%.  I would have a 3 hour round trip to drop them off today and then the same tomorrow, plus, I have someone coming to view my caravan tomorrow so fingers crossed I get it sold.  So quiet day, although I am just working up to go and gut out Jamie's bedroom today and then thats one job done and one step nearer moving house.  His room is a nightmare and I am frightened of what I will find lurking under the bed and in corners.  Wish me luck!  I am going in this Thursday to get a little procedure done to hopefully help with some of my medical things that are going on at the moment and I was doing okay about it and thinking it was the right decision after lots of chats to bf about it.  However, I stupidly googled it last night and read so many bad stories (although did read some good ones) that now I am panicking a bit about it and wondering if I am doing the right thing!  Ahhh - stupid internet lol.  I think I maybe just need to ask the GP more questions before she does it or maybe read a bit more on the internet although not sure that is the best answer.  Why is nothing simple lol.  Anyway, better get on and tackle this bedroom. 

Love and hugs to all the penguins and hope you have the best weekend you can.

Gayle xxx

Hi everyone

Not been on posting much just down to work and stuff and I have Gayle's cold ...... or maybe she has mine, not sure!

Well it is only two weeks until I move and I have done NOTHING .... must, must, must get started.  I have sorted some address changes and  council tax and boring stuff, but just seem to think the rest will do itself!!  Gayle, come and kick my bum!  And much more importantly hun, look after yourself. 

Helen, how wonderful is Liam - and of course there were tears.  What a week you have had for emotions, I saw the cheque pictures - you are just wonderful you know.

Lynne, hope Dad is managing, and that you back is improving.  I think Fiona's wedding is today, so I have my fingers crossed for some good weather. 

I am going to have to sign off for now because I have to get my 'roots done' but I am determined to come back later and read the last 10 pages or so, make notes so that I at least know what I am talking about ...... that would be a first!

Loads of love til then, Judes xx

Morning Gayle

Just read your last post and felt that you needed a Dottee ((hug)) just fro comfort and reassurance.  Whatever procedure you are having (and I'm not asking for details!) I'm sure that it is not as bad as you've read.  I find it strange that the worst stories always seem to find their way to the top of any list.  So go with confidence and an open mind.....If you don't normally have any problems recovering from any procedures then I wouldn't worry.  But maybe it's a good plan to talk to your GP....if she is to do it then it must ba a simple job - otherwise you would surely be seen by a consultant and admitted to hospital...........

How's the safari into that bedroom - found any really awful beasties in there??  I once found some 'lads' mags' under Son Number 1's bed when I cleaned his room (he was about 12 at the time) - I thought it was so funny and had difficulty keeping a straight face when I asked him about them.  I was only concerned because his younger brother was really too young to look at them.  Poor Number 1 - he was mortified that I had found them..............But we did finish up laughing about it and he found a safer place to keep them!!!!!

And on that note I will have to get back to sorting my office out and making some space to work............

Love and more ((((hugs))))))

Dot xxxxxxxxx

Hi all, worked last night and boy did I earn my money. I worked my socks off. No break, two lukewarm drinks and a very disasified group of patients later, I left work (45 minutes late). Have had about 3 hours sleep and now have another night to do. Let's hope this one is a better one (for the patients).

Have a good night everyone.

Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

Dear Patricia

I hope that you have an easy night shift tonight and that all your patients are really sleepy so that they settle down early.........How many do you have to wake up to give sleeping tabs to??  I've had that done to me a  few times............

Take care

Love and (((hugs)))

Dot xxxxxxxxxxx

Evening everyone,

Where is everyone?  I am hoping we are all busy enjoying ourselves and thats why we aren't here :-)  You okay Mrs North?  I hope tonight is a better one for you Patricia and hope you got the office finished Dot.  I did manage to get Jamie's room done but it was a tough job lol.  Eurrrghh the things that were lurking in that bedroom! Although thankfully no lads mags :-) I am sure that will come soon enough!  I did find a DS and 5 games and 2 hamsters (not live ones) plus both boys comfort toys.  Ewan has a back up one but was still pleased to discover his original "crumbly taggie" which is disgusting and despite being in the washing machine numerous times could still walk on its own.  Jamie lost his months ago and hasn't bothered but I still put it under the covers for him and when I went in to check on him there he is all snuggled up to it which was quite cute.  Cover your ears men - Dot, I am going in to have a coil fitted.  I am not too worried about the procedure itself (I have heard its sore but I will put up with it) but I am more worried in case I get some of the reported side effects which include weight gain, mood swings and loss of sex drive.  I will just have to try it though as at the end of my tether with the problems I have without it which it is supposed to fix.  The pain I have been in today (shaking and very hot) reminded me of that.  I am fed up taking loads of painkillers and then counting the hours until I can take more - its not right and needs sorted.  Anyway, enough of my moaning - hopefully in a few weeks time I will feel much better.  I'm off to dye my hair and watch the x factor - an exciting Saturday night!

Take care penguins

Gayle xxx

Morning all , just a quick one , sorry i;ve not been around , my heart has been in the pit of my stomach , just need to get today out the way(Gordons birthday ) the build up hasn't been made any easier because of the other presures  . Normal service will be resumed shortly  xxxxxx Hugs to all xxxxxxx

Ps i am going on the walk today xxxxxxxx

Morning all.  Lynne - sending you lots of penguin ((((((hugs)))))) to help a little with today.  I think the walk today will do you good.  Take care.  Ailsa xxx

Hi - me again.  I just did a quick catch up since Thursday.  Did you manage to catch up on our posts Judi?  On Thursday it took me an hour and a half to catch up on everyone's news but I had missed everyone so much when I couldn't get on that I didn't mind.  Have you managed to get anything done for your move yet - I wish fairies did it.  I know Becky & I are doing her move in a fiarly unusual, drawn out way but I am counting the days until it is finished now.  I worked out that Becky has moved house 14 times in the past 10 years so maybe it is not surprising I've run out of steam.

Sorry I wasn't posting last night Gayle.  I was tired and everytime I sat down I dropped off so I decided to keep moving.  I watched x-factor by watering the garden in the adverts and unpacking from Friday while the show was on.  Enjoyed it though!!  Well done with the bedroom clearing.  I am sure everything will be fine for you on Thursday.  It sounds like it is one thing that might help with some of your other symptoms.  I always think that if it is something that thousands of other people have managed then so can I.  Don't google anymore about it as usually only the ones who need to complain take the time to post - the ones who are off out enjoying their life because it worked don't bothered to post xxx

Helen huge congratulations to Liam on his results.  I noticed the other day that you didn't think he had got into Newcastle but that is great news that he has.  It probably does you & your FIL a lot of good to have tears together every now and then.  I have been feeling a bit like everyone has forgotten recently.  Going to sound like a sad g*t now but I seem to have no-one to cry with recently.  It is probably because we are all so busy getting Becky sorted etc.  However - now I have thought about it on here, it is probably because there have been no special times recently to make the others really miss Chris.  The kids birthdays are all quite close together but later in the year.  It is probably a very good thing that they are happily getting on with their lives - Chris particularly asked them to do that.

Dot I remember finding lads mags under Stu's mattress when he was about 13/14.  He was so embarrassed.  We agreed that I would announce loadly, the day before, when I was going to do his room in future!

Patricia your evening of jazz sounded terrific.  It is such a shame you followed it up with a lousy shift.  I hope your patients were a bit less hard work last night and that you are not too tired.

Fiona the wedding sounds huge.  I hope we get to see some photos.  I would think the train is best if you want to do London & back on the same day.  I hope the day goes as it should.

Declan & I had a great time at the Flashback to the 80's concert at Clumber Park.  We got to bed really late which is why I was so tired yesterday.  We should have been going to a birthday party in Birmingham today but it has been cancelled and I am quite pleased really as it gives us a day off. 

Well I have rambled enough so I will get off.  Sunny here so need to get some of the garden done I think.  Take care everyone, especially Lynne.  Ailsa xxx

Morning everyone xx

Lynne more big hugs and good luck again wtih your walk xxx

Gayle good luck with Thursday, all the people that have it fitted have never looked back. Made such a difference!! I m going for the dreaded smear tomorrow (sorry Dave and other men, cover your ears lol) kept putting it off but need to do it while I m off.

Patricia hope you had a better night at work. Ailsa the gig sounds fab!! The 80s was my era, love it!

I wasnt on yesterday due to a pig of a hangover!! Why do I do it! Was even to ill to sit and type. Feel more human today. I enjoyed x factor last night too!

Nothing planned today. Probably tidy up and do the garden if it stays dry.

Have a good Sunday everyone

Helen xxx