My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

hello everyone

I wanted to welcom Grace and Anj, you won't find a more caring group of people than these ladies (and Dave).  Please get in the middle and we will support you as long as you need.

Judi what a wonderful dream.  Just really touched me to read about it.  Sue, looks like you had a good day today.

I managed to get through our 29th anniversary yesterday.  Went out to lunch with two friends and sat talking for over 3 hours in the restaurant.  It was nice to see them and a good outing for me.  I had a few tears last night but so far am still doing  well.  It is cooler now and I am able to get Max out for his walks and much needed walking for me too.  I have been puttering around the house, I will be glad to run away again on Thursday to Toronto to drop Max and the car at BIL's and spend the night with them before flying to Newfoundland on Friday.  I find that I am ok for a little bit at home but I think more than 2 weeks would have me in a black hole easily.  Then when I get home, less than a week and back to work.  Not really looking forward to that but we will find some kind of routine again. 

Sending lots of hugs to all.

Bren

Morning all.  I'm having a day off today to let the plumber in.  Sue how lovely and posh!  It is lovely to go somewhere like that and feel so special for a special day.  And what is one tiny blob of cream!!!  Glad you had a nice day.

Bren have a great time in Newfoundland later this week.  I wander how many miles you have wandered during your holidays?  It is good that you can get off when you need to.

Your right Rosemary - big emotion when that window goes in - but I am going to be better with it this year than I would have been last year if I had rushed into doing this job just because Chris planned it.  Tears yes but they will be happy tears that I did what he wanted.

Are you recovered from your travels now Patricia?  Are you back to work?

Have a good day everyone.  Ailsa xxx

Hi all -- Think I'm finally getting rid of this throat + sinus infection -- fingers crossed -- feeling a bit more human + I think feeling grotty combined with the 6 month syndrom + hubbys birthday didnt help. Golly u girls manage to keep busy -- I'm still waiting to hear about volunteering wish I could go back to caring but dont think I could cope now. Have had a busy 2 days with my young grandson dont have time to feel down when he's about.. Someone mentioned facebook is there a special site connected to macmillan --as u can tell I'm not much of a computer whizz -- Well better tackle the ironing -- love to all u busy bees xx lynda

Hi Lynda.  Do you have a facebook profile already?  If not then think about setting yourself up on there and then let us know.  We can request you as a friend and then take it from there.  There are a few things it is easier to do on facebook than on here so we find it useful to flit between the two.  Hope you got the ironing done.  Ailsa xxx

Hi Everyone, Just a quick post to send you all big hugs. I am shattered tonight i have been away shopping with Kim looking for something to wear for the wedding i have on the 20th Aug with Darren it is one of his school pals, well i finally got something to put on. Charlie was so good it was his first time on a train. I will catch up again soon. Fiona xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx     

Hi everyone

It must be something in the Scottish air Fiona, because I am shattered too today for no reason at all!  Glad that you got your outfit for the wedding hun.  Well done Charlie for going on the train .. bet he loved it. 

Hi Bren, so glad that you had lunch with your friends, not that it necessarily makes it any easier, but more bearable.  You trip to Newfoundland will be great hun, and then although I know what you mean about not looking forward to going back to work, sometimes it is doing the 'necessary' things that gets you through the days. I bet you are glad that you are able to get out with Max a bit more and he will enjoy his holiday with your BIL.

Lynne .... where are you?????  Don't say that you have decided to take up marathon running - we will have to start calling you Forest ..... run Forest run. 

Helen, your London trip has sounded fabulous - are your SURE that you have money left for Saturday????

Lynda, we are not all as busy as others you know - you just make the most of the smiles that you grandson gives you.  Glad that you are feeling a little better. ((((   )))))

Sue your birthday tea looked and sounded wonderful and terribly, terribly posh - pass me a cucumber buttie would you - your girls are so lovely.

Am off to do the final stroll round the block and then bed.  Removal comapny at 8am to look round and give me a quote. 

Love to all - Judi xxx

Judi, I hope you got a reasonable quote from the removal firm. When are you planning to move?? Is Kat ok now?

Fiona, so pleased to hear you managed to find a wedding outfit. Well done.

Lynda, I do hope your health starts to improve soon.

Sending you all great big penguin hugs to help you through the day. I hope you all haver the best day you can.

Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

Hi all, sending lots of international hugs to you all.  I am off for lunch with another friend today, S is the one I went to Buffalo with at the beginning of summer break and lots of fun.  I was talking to Dan's cousin last night and he suggested I go to Toronto tomorrow and have dinner (pizza) and spend the night at his place before going toBIL's on Thursday so I am definately thinking of doing that.  He was with Danny when I met them both 33 years ago and it would be great to catch up in person with him.  It is just so so humid once again, not the kind of summer I like.  I will be glad to be in Newfoundland on Friday to get some cooler air.  It is really hard when it is humid with the dog, I can't leave him in the car at all and hard to walk too far with him.  I don't want to drive around Toronto all day Thursday so if I can stay after Mike goes to work, that would be ok.  I could then go to BIL's when they get home from work. (all those people who have to work in the summer!)  I am still waiting for my unemployment insurance to come in and it does get tough by September with no pay all summer though. 

Lynda, I spent most of the winter last year barely getting to work each day, I had no motivation to do anything at all and still am not doing a lot.  I putter around, it is easier than it was to be alone but there are still bad moments.  I did find some peace when scattering the ashes in Gaspe in July and I am still feeling that peace for the moment.  I am lucky that I have been able to run away and visit relatives and friends for every long weekend and every vacation, I can't keep doing that and will have to learn to live alone pretty soon.  Six months is a very tough time, I think for me it was when I realized that I was truly alone and that was my  life now and I don't want it to be like this.   For now I am ok and just going with that.  Tomorrow I don't know how I am going to be feeling and that is how I have to live for now. 

I have managed to make a total mess of my house waiting for my friend to pick up headboards and bureau but it will get sorted one day, I am not concerned at all.

hugs to all

Bren

Hi everyone....I m home!!!

Sue how posh are you!! Glad you had a lovely birthday.

Rosemary still sending you hugs and well done on joining the gym!! I ve got competition with you all running, swimming, etc and all I ve done lately is eat and drink!! Need to start being good.....well maybe after I ve been to Manchester and the lakes lol!!

Ailsa I have tagged you in my photos....discovered the joys of Krispy Kreme doughnuts, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!! Glad Becky is going to be settled for now anyway xxx

Bren  well done getting through your anniversary, cant keep up with you where you off to next!! When do your school hols end?

Judi you dream brought a tear to me too xx Lovely xx I had a similar dream, not sure if I put it on here but Paul came back too and told me he was ok xx Strange but lovely xx Like the sound of the red sports car!!

Patricia glad you got back ok after your mammoth drive!!

Fiona sorry to hear you ve had the tears again, they keep coming dont they xxx Bug higs xx

Well we had a fab weekend,fitted so much in, on and off the tube all over the weekend and Dirty Dancing was fantastic!! But had tears at the end, Paul didnt desperately like the film but one bit just brought him right to the front of my mind and the tears came!! Couldnt keep them in, poor Nat couldnt understand as it wasnt even a sad bit. Mad eh lol!!!

Quiet day today then working tomorrow, catching up with friends at the end of the week and looking forward to the Manchester meet with the few that are going Saturday then Monday I m off to the lakes for 2 nights.

Liam is away now me and Nat have come home, he s gone to Dublin with his girlfriend until Thursday. Sounds like they re having fun!!

Love to everyone

Helen xxx

Evening all . Judi i'm still here lol , internet still a bit hit and miss , roll on sunday when my daughter ig going to get the broabband sorted for me . Helen your couple of days sounds great and the photos are really good , Nat is looking more and more like you .. Patricia , thank you for getting me motivated last night , can you believe when you got on your hula i wanted to go running even though i'd decided not too and i did quite a good one last night too but was very stiff this morning , nit sure iof its still from the 8 mile walk on sunday or the run , oh well no pain no gain . Anyway i'll try and post this now and try and get back on later ,

Hugs to all

xxx Lynne xxx

 Ps has any one heard from Dottee ?