My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

FormerMember
FormerMember
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My husband - Chris - died on the 2nd May 2009 because he had anal cancer. He knew he was going and we spoke about lots and lots of things before he died. That is why I am just not prepared for the huge amount of guilt I feel now. I feel guilty that the world hasn't stopped turning round even though he has died. I feel like everything should stop as a mark of respect. I also feel very guilty that he had to be so ill he had to die. What a cruel cruel thing it is to make someone so ill their body just stops working. I wasn't ready for him to go. I really really hope these are normal feelings because I must hang on to my sanity for the sake of my 3 children. I have never known sadness like I feel right now. I can't believe that I will not hear his voice or feel his touch again. We were married for almost 32 years and I have known Chris for 34 years - since I was 16. What happens now? Ailsa

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Rosemary so sorry to hear about Beckham. Sending you all big hugs xxxx

    Helen xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    So sorry to hear about your beautiful Beckham..........xxxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    ...and Sue - that is a lovely poem - thank you for finding it xxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    For my darling Rosemary  ....... sent from Poppy, my first greyhound.   You know we are all thinking of you and Sam.  J xxxxxx

    WALK AWHILE WITH ME

    I came to Rainbow Bridge and something made me wait,
    to be by someone else’s side, as they passed through heaven’s gate

    As I stood waiting patiently, over the hill he came,
    a fine and handsome stallion, Beckham is his name.

    Proudly he trotted along my way, then asked “Oh where are we?”
    I answered, 'This is Rainbow Bridge, come, walk awhile with me'

    We passed through gates of sparkling gold, to a meadow with a tumbling stream,
    and Beckham said  “I know this place I saw it in my dream.”

    Look there Beckham, up on the hill, old friends running fast and free,
    and over there, my greyhounds chums are waiting now for me.

    Your equine friends are calling you, now off you go and see,
    We'll meet up soon and once again, you can walk awhile with me.

     

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Judi that is lovely xxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Just spoke to Lynne, poor thing is missing us all so much and wants me to say a big hello to everyone. She is definitely with everyone in thought and not through lack of trying!! She has got her old lappy out too to try and connect but no luck. Fingers crossed everyone she gets it sorted tomorrow xxxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Rosemary, I am so so sorry to hear about your Beckham

    Love Quill xxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Lynne, really hope that you manage to get it sorted out soon, until then sending you a huge (((((((((((((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))))))))))) too.
    Love Quill xxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Rosemary I am so so sorry to hear about Beckham.  What a beautiful poem that is about Rainbow Bridge.  I had a horse put down a few years ago and I know how truly heartbreaking it is.  They are like a big part of the family and for it to happen so suddenly too with all the other stuff with your inlaws.  Grass sickness is particularly cruel and one that so few know about.  We lost a horse at our yard who was my horse's best friend (and he pined for a very long time for his friend) Before that we knew very little about it but we all quickly and very sadly learned.  Sending you and Sam huge bug higs xxxx

    Lynne, hope you are okay and get the laptop problem sorted.  Judi glad you had a great holiday.

    Sorry for the short post but just wanted to pass the message onto Rosemary.  I'm just back tonight and only had 4 hours sleep last night and then working all day and then the 3.5hr drive home so I am shattered so I will wish you all a good night.

    Gayle xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hi - just thought I would check before I went to bed.  The poems are lovely Sue & Judi.  Lynne I hope you get the laptop sorted out tomorrow as we are all missing you.  Have a good night everyone.  Thinking of you & Sam Rosemary xxx