My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Welcome back Judi, it is hard to come home again all alone isn't it.  Maybe the lost suitcase means a shopping trip for you!  Rosemary hope the horse is recovering, it is hard with pets, I am the biggest animal lover ever.  My remaining cat is 14, limping badly now and diabetic, I want a kitten so much but would not do that to him.  My cousin and I turned around in Swiss Chalet parking lot last week and saw 3 kittens running around, took all I had not to bring them home and I am going there for lunch with a coworker today so sure hope they are not there!  My Brandy would not be happy with another cat in the house. 

Teri, hang in there, you will pull yourself out of that nasty hole.  I think you are between 5 + 6 months and although I was told 6 months was rough, I found that 5 was worse and took me weeks to get up and moving again.  Just be kind to yourself, let it happen and you will come out of it.  I have just passed 9 months and miss him so much but I am trying to force myself to start to live again, even just going to lunch with a friend and doing a couple of things that I have put off for a long time.  It is a long long hard road but you can do it my friend.  In the meantime, get in the middle and we will watch over you.  Lots of hugs.

love Bren

Hi all, thanks for all your lovely words and hugs and welcome home little Judi.  Sad, sad news though, when we got down to Beckham today (finally after being stuck in traffic for 3/4 hour) he had taken a turn for the worse and even surgery wouldn't help him (which we were in two minds whether to do but probably would have cos you do anything don't you) so we had to make the decision which of course wasn't a decision.  He was put to sleep with us right beside him, Sam holding him the whole time - she was so brave bless her.  He's now running free as the wind and waiting for her at Rainbow Bridge (anyone who hasn't read it Goggle Rainbow Bridge poem), another hard day and more to come as it really sinks in, but we'll get through.  Will be back later, just got to upload the last photo's of Sam and Bex so she can get them on her phone.  Love you all lots xxxxxxx

PS Lynda, Caneston Duo or Combi get it now! xxx

Hello everyone.  Rosemary I so hope that Beckham is okay.  I have my fingers crossed.

Helen I was reading back my post from last night and have no idea what I thought you were going to 'break away' from!!  I wander if I am unique in my ability to sleep-type.  I fell asleep twice doing that post which was when I decided I really should go to bed but looks like I mad several typos before I went.  Hey ho!!You are very right about the different ways we are each tryng to make some sense of our lives with the big gaps that we have now.  It helps me a lot to read how each of us are doing.  It will be strange for you at first when the kids go to college but you will adapt.  Then you can be like me and be thrilled that my 2 lodgers are away for a few days this week!  Their company is lovely but their mess is not.  I have the house to myself until Friday afternoon.

Welcome home Judi.  It is lovely to have you back.  I am glad you had a great time.  I am very impressed that your friends son will be in the Olympic squad.  Hope the suitcase turns up soon.  I find I need to step back most times when I am having fun as guilt suddenly creeps in.  We have nothing to feel guilty about but that doesn't stop us.  As long as we pick ourselves up after the timeout I think we should know we will feel like that and allow ourselves to sink for a very short time when it hits.  I don't think there is any point in fighting it xxx

Teri it is hard for me to know what to say to you that might help.  Keep posting and if work helps then keep doing that as well.  You are coming up to a very hard time around 6 months.  Don't expect too much of yourself as I certainly remember 6 months after losing Chris as being a bad time.  You know where we are and you should get straight into the middle of the huddle and stay there until you feel ready to come out.

Bren - you must resist the kittens tomorrow - for poor Brandy's sake.  I know it is hard.  I have no pets right now but we had various family pets when the kids were young.  I find myself more and more tempted to get a little company. 

I am going to get off now and try to get some work done while I have an empty house.  Take care everyone.  Ailsa xxx 

Rosemary I am so sorry.  I hope you and Sam are okay ((((((hugs)))))) xx

So, so sorry, Rosemary.

Rainbow Bridge

There is a bridge connecting heaven and earth
It is called Rainbow Bridge because of its many colours

Just this side of the Rainbow Bridge there is a land of meadows,
hills, valleys with lush green grass

When a beloved pet dies, the pet goes to this special place
There is always food and water and warm spring weather

The old and frail are young again
Those who are maimed are made whole again

They play all day with each other
There is only one thing missing

They are not with their special person who loved them on Earth
So each day they run and play until the day comes
when one suddenly stops playing and looks up !

The nose twitches !
The ears are up !
The eyes are staring !
And this one suddenly runs from the group !

You have been seen, and when you and your special friend meet,
you take him or her into your arms and embrace
your face is kissed again and again,
and you look once more into the eyes of your trusting pet

Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together, never again to be separated

Loads of love and hugs

sue xx

So so sorry Rosemary

Well here goes if it goes it goes if not at least i've tried , just needed to send big hugs to Rosemary , the poem is so lovely Sue .Really struggling without the penguins , i didn't realise how much i need to hear all about you  . I'm waitng for tech support to call me back , they keep saying its the software but i'm convinced its the lap top thats faulty . Ive done everything they have said and its even worse now . If it doesn't get sorted tonight i will just go and buy another one ..  

Take care xxxx lynne xxx

Rosemary I am so sorry, my thoughts are with you all

Love Teri

Yippee it went and welcome back Judi xxxx

To rosemary 

So sorry to hear about Beckham  love and hugs to you and your family xx

love to you all take care love janice xxxx