My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Hi all

Sue, yes I am sure that you didn't like getting your rings cut off one little bit but I think it is a lovely idea to have a pendant made, it will be beautiful and vrey, very special.  ((( ))))

Thank you for my special hig bug munchkin, needed it today.  No dreams to upset me Patricia but a horrid, horrid day.   Not really sure why but have also been quite 'blue' the last couple of days, culminating in my taking myself up to the cemetary today in an early lunch hour.  As I sat and sobbed (looking, i might say, very sophisticated in my dark glasses - thankfullly the sun obliged so I didn't look too daft!) and as I was there Ed's ex wife (no, don't worry - we get on well) came walking up the path.  She is on her way back to Dubai this evening having spent a fortnight here to see baby Izzy.  She had been putting plants at her mum and dad's grave.  Well she took one look at me and burst into tears.  She can be very kind and I think, for the first time, realised that I genuinely find it so hard without Ed.  Anyway, I came home feeling a little better (bizarrely) and took the dogs down to the garden for a few minutes.  When it was time to come in both of them go charging up the outside concrete steps and Kitty-Kat missed her footing and came crashing down backwards and although she got to her feet (she is SO stoic) I knew it wasn't good.  So this evening has been spent waiting at the vets while they stiched and bandaged her up.  She even managed to half jump in the car but when we got home she just couldn't manage the insdie carpeted stairs so as I tried to lift/carry all six stone of lanky legged sore dog with tears streaming down my face I had just about had enough.  But we are all home now.  Joey, very confused why she doesn't want to play, me with a stonking headache and having decided that I am not even going to try and take her out for a late night pee ...... sorry ladies ... but will just deal with any consequences in the morning!

So night night all, this very sorry for herself penguin is taking herself off to bed.

But tomorrow is another day - I will be back.

Loads of love - Judes xxxxxx

Aww Judes I am so sorry to hear what a rough day you have had.  Its always the same isn't it?  One thing goes wrong and then everything follows suit and you just wonder why you always have to have all the luck.  I'm glad you got comfort from seeing Ed's ex wife at the cemetary and poor Kat.  I hope she is feeling a bit better tomorrow although no doubt she will be stiff for a few days.  I hope you get a good sleep tonight and tomorrow is another day.  Lets hope it is a better one for you.  Sending you bug higs xxxx

To Judi xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dont know why my pictures arn't showing up at the moment . Just send you a special hug Judi . and so so sorry about  your bad day , i really hope today is a better one for you and kat (and Joey ) How lovely of Eds ex wife . your post bought tears to my eyes this morning .. Take care xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Just wanted to leave lots of big comforting (((((((((hugs))))))))))) for all my friends in the 'Penguin Posse'................xxxxxxxx

Oh thank you all so much - and as we say - Today is another day and am felling MUCH better.  Last thing last night my brave little Kat decided she would struggle out for a wee as soon as she heard the leads and yes it was a struggle to get her back up the stairs but I decided if she could cope then I certinaly could!

So we have all slept quite well and hopped/stumbled and made our way out again this morning and now we (well, my beautiful four legged girl) are now finding ways to get our bandages off!  The sun is shining, my headache has nearly gone and things are looking a lot brighter. 

I think the time has come for me to make an appointment at the docs ......... I have a feeling (and this is where you may ALL jump in saying "Oh but you are SO young Judes") that maybe I need to put quite a bit of the emotion down to 'the change'.  Either that or my calendar and thermostat have both gone to pot!!!!

So - today I will stop thinking only about me, read the last few pages of posts, and come back with wise thoughts, funny quips, outrageous comments and generally be a more outward looking penguin!!

Speak later and thanks.

Judi xxxxx

Oh, judes, what a c*** day. Thank goodness there's a new day just begun which has to be better.

sue xx

Morning everyone

Judi bug higs, so sorry yesterday was so awful. It brought a tear to my eye thinking of you at the cemetery but lovely to see Eds ex wife xxx Glad things seems better today and bug higs to Kat for a speedy recovery.

Not the dreaded hot flushes!! Not that I would know yet he he....like you I am faaaar too young lol xxx

Gayle have a lovely weekend, what are you like!! Nothing is easy he he xx You talk about being patient and what will be will be. I am sooooo impatient but am learning to be he he!! Not easy though is it xx

Manda glad you had a good night, but no hangover!!!

Lesley sounds like she s out partying again, go girl!!

Is Patricia on her way now? So nice to have a dream but so disappointing when its not real. Bug higs xxxxx

Lynne great weather for your camping, dont forget the wine and cheddars lol!!!

Fiona hope you re ok today and have a lovely weekend.

Ailsa,Rosemary,Sue Dot,Janice, Bren, Teri and probably some I ve forgot...sorry!!! have a lovely Saturday xx Sun is shining!!

Helen xxx

Have a lovely day my penguin friends, sending you all love and ((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))
Quill xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Oh Judi, my heart aches for you. I could actually visualise you sitting at the cemetary with your sun glasses on looking like Jackie Onasis. I hope it was  a comfort to you when Ed's ex wife turned up and was empathetic. I hope Kat is feeling a little better but expect it will take a few days before she is back on form.

Gayle, such a dilema for you. I am sure that you will make the right decision for you and the boys.  Enjoy your trip to the caravan. Congratulations on the new developments in your job, it sounds like things are begining to imporove for you in that area.

Helen, I don't actually go on holiday intil the 30th so I am here for the next few days at least.I hope you are enjoying your weekend.

Sue, that must have been a difficult time for you having your rings cut off.  I hope you enjoy wearing your pendant when you have it made. It will hold all kinds of memories for you and I am sure will look beautiful.

Bren, I hope you enjoy the rest of your trip and come home safe and well.

Rosemary, how are you doing? Are things ok within the 'Rosemary' family? You have so much going on and you are so lovely to us all. I have to admit to being a little worried about you. 

Fiona I hope you are managing to get some time to enjoy yourself although it must be quite hard when you are all so worried about your dad.

Lesley, Manda, Teri, Lynda, Dot, Quill  and everyone else who posts here please accept a big gentle (((((hug))))

Love and angel hugs to all you lovely penguins from me x x x Patricia x x x