My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Oh and I got some of my photo's, texts and contacts back!!!  I forgot that I signed up for a tool on O2 in April which saves all texts so I got a lot back from that.  Feeling a bit calmer now :-) xxx

Dear Gayle

You'll have to try a lot harder to offend this penguin!!!!!!!!!!!

Ditto everything that Rosemary has said - you are a lovely lady and a fab mum, but being a lady myself with a 33 year old daughter, 'i can so empathise with what rosemary has said.  When your children turn 18 you don't just turn off the caring gene; oh no, hun, you're stuck with loving, caring parents who will want and need to look out for you, and to do whatever they can to ensure that you don't get hurt. Dear Wully was and is obviously dearly loved and respected  by them, and we all know that nothing can hurt you in a relationship more than losing the man you love and adore - they're looking out for their little girl, Gayle, and I think our Rosemary has given you brilliant advice.

well, I've had a lovely day today. I was able to walk the dogs this morning without  clock-watching, then went shopping with Alice and i didn't look at the time once! This evening i've been for a meal with some dear friends from school - past and present staff, very special people, -  and we had such a laugh (and a good old bitch about present circumstances!!)    tomorrow i think will be a 'pottering' and housework day, and alice is going to helen's for the weekend; they're going to see Les Mis in Bristol, then meeting up with some friends in the evening, so i'll have a quiet weekend. Might need to go shopping..........

take care, my lovely friends

Sue xx

Hi Everyone, well Gayle I am just going to send you a big hug as I think Rosemary said it all, just be happy you deserve it as you say life is to short. Sue your pics are great and glad you had a nice day. Lynne enjoy your camping at the weekend. Helen dirty dancing sounds good I miss going to the musicals with my sister but just not able to both get away with looking after dad. I have had a few tears today and not slept very well the last few nights, I suppose it's just getting over the anniversary's. Sorry forgot what everyone else is up to I really need to write it down. Glad you managed to get your messages etc back I know what I felt like when I had not backed up some of my photos on my laptop when I got that virus. Well suppose I should try and get some sleep Bud is lying beside me out for the count peace perfect peace. Hugs to you all Fiona xx

Hi all

Gayle my darling little munchkin I had read your post and immediately knew what I wanted to write .... but then found I didn't need to as Rosemary had already stolen my words.  I really do often think she and I share a brain.

You have had the most serious hurt already done to you - you lost Wully - and your mum and dad can't 'fix' that, there is nothing they can do in anyway to even make it better. So from there on in the only thing in life that matters to them is to stop you being hurt again ..... they can't.  But I suspect that even if this chap was 'Mr Perfect' they would worry.  So my darling, although I, like Rosemary, was slightly concerned to read the words 'fiery' and 'broken up a couple of times' I have complete faith in you and your choices.  They are the right ones simply by the very fact you made them.  And if they turn out not to be as you hoped or expected you will, again, make another choice, which will also be right.  But for now, do what feels right and good for you. xxxxxx

Patricia I hope you have a wonderful holiday and I know you will drive carefully.  And when you arrive you will feel a sense of pride that you did it.  Ailsa hun, I will raise a glass to you and Chris and imagine him singing a wonderful love song to you on your anniversary. 

Odd you know, because although I am genuinely so happy to read about those of you who are finding closeness/frienship/somfort and maybe love, I just can't imagine it ..... sadly the only word I can really use to describe it for me is 'unnecessary'   Do you think that will ever change?  

Much love to all my penguins - Judes xxxxx

Aww Fiona, sorry you are having a tough time. I hope you sleep tonight.

judi, finding all the things you mentioned is only necessary if it is what you yourself desire. For me that is unnecessary. I neither need it or want it to change. I have only ever loved one man and never ever want anyone else. I can understand other people needing that closeness but for me it is not a thing I want to share with someone else despite Ray telling me he didn't want me to be lonely. Well I am sorry but that is one thing he will just have to deal with wherever he is because it is just not going to change. Oooh dear, now I have made myself cry. Just go with the flow Judi and if it is something you would like in the future then it will probably happen when the time is right for you.

Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

Morning all, especially Patricia - Didn't sleep last night because I knew that I had not explained myself correctly ..... not only on here but also to myself.  I think the word I actually meant was 'irrelevant' - and if something appears to be genuinely irrelevant then you have no idea if it will always be thus.  Have a wonderful Friday everyone.  Loads of love Judes 

Morning everyone xx

Thinking of you today Ailsa, will raise a glass this evening to you both xx Hugs to Fiona today, so hard all these anniversaries still xx

Patricia have a lovely holiday xx

Judi you are such a lovely, warm bubbly person cannot imagine you being alone for always x Never say never!!

I need Paul here this morning!! Noticed a few patches on my bedroom ceiling after all the rain so have got a roofer friend round looking at it. Hate doing these things on my own, just got to trrust people havent we? He s just replacing a couple of slates today but looks like I ll need more work done in time.Paul would have got up on the roof himself and checked it but I cant do that can I ? Oh well, got to be done.

Have a good day everyone

Helen xxx

Morning Helen (yes, just about everyone is on holiday today - apart from me so may well be dropping in a few times!)

Don't even THINK about  going on the roof ..... and don't even speak about it too loudly, we don't want Lynne thinking that is acceptable behaviour! I know what you mean about having no choice but to find and trust workman.  One area I have been VERY fortunate in.  In fact George and George are coming with me to my new house one evening next week so they can see what needs to be done.  I think they are more excited than me!

Speak soon

J x

Morning Judi

Ha ha, I have actually still got all Pauls ladders but dont worry wont get up there!! OMG Lynne no you cant do it either!! He he, just concentrate on that tent this weekend xxx

Have a good day Judi xxx

NO - NOT LYNNE UP A LADDER!!!! PLEASE, NO!