My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Gayle and Lynne sending huge hugs and will be thinking of you both. 

Welcome to piglet, so sorry you have to join us but I hope we can all be some support for you as these lovely ladies and Dave have been for me.

Sinking deep into my hole once again, not because of father's day because we didn't celebrate it.  Must be the stress at work, a long summer looming ahead, my birthday coming up, who knows but have not surfaced much all weekend, only to go in and do a few hours work yesterday just to keep from having a total breakdown next week.  I do know it will pass but I am feeling so very lonely lately. 

Gayle, sounds like you had a lovely day with your boys and I know you have made a wonderful memory for them. 
Hugs to all

dear bren

sending you (((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))) and love across the world. Don't let that black hole swallow you up - keep on posting xxx

We're not doing so great today are we? Like Helen, I read all your posts earlier and had a good cry... one of many times so far today. I just keep thinking about this time last year, and that we had no idea at all that it would be Miles' last father's day. H has been really low for the last few days too, and today has been very hard for her. I feel so useless...

Well, yesterday was a success - thanks for all your well wishes! Was shattered by the time we got home, luckily MIL had invited us for tea - she knew that we probably wouldn't have eaten if she hadn't! Had a nice meal and a few glasses of white and tried to get an early night, but still couldn't sleep. I am so sick of feeling exhausted... blasted useless sleep patterns!

Anyway, am off to make a tiramisu in a minute - will have to do some extra walking this to burn of the calories! So will just say welcome to Piglet, sorry you have had to join us, but glad that you have found us. Be gentle with yourself, we are here anytime you need a hug...xxx

Manda x 

Hi just dropping by to send some hugs to everybody today , It must have beem one of the most "tearfull "collectivily since the forum started . I ,ve had a lovley day with the kids and 1 step daughter , the little kids have been wonderful today i just love them all to bits .. Thank goodness for our families .. Fiona , i hope your doing ok with your dad xx

Take care all Lynne xxx

Evening everyone,

Thank you all for the messages and texts - it has helped a lot.  Today is still feeling a bit surreal but the boys have now went to my parents and after I have finished cleaning out 3 wardrobes (I know but it helps lol!) then I am going to have some quiet time and go through Wully´s things that I put in a box last year.  I too had a cry when I read the posts and then a good laugh at Joey (sorry Joey!).  What a daft dog lol.  My Billie is a bit like that too.  Its just been one of those days for all of us and I knew we would all be feeling it.  Lynne and I were texting this morning and were both cryingat the same time and horrible as it sounds it makes you feel less alone when you know others are feeling the same if you know what I mean.

We all went to the beach this morning and the boys wrote a card and collected shells again for Wully.  They were all excited that the shells we left the last time weren´t there as they are convinced the angels came and took them to their daddy.  However, then Ewan decided to sit down with his arms crossed and not budge as he didn´t want to go home but wanted to wait and see the said angels lol.  Had to bribe him to come home as he can be very stubborn (don´t know where he gets that from).  Some idiot family lit a fire down the beach which by the time we had reached our special place had become a large inferno so of course the fire engines came and where we sit we have a good view right along the beach and across the water so the boys were very excited about that.  I suppose it kept things light.  My parents and sister and her boyfriend came over this afternoon and I have had lots of calls and texts and emails.  Tomorrow is going to be a quiet one where I will visit the crematorium and perhaps the hospice.

Anyway, I might be back later as I imagine it will be a late one tonight.  Wully died at 23.55 so I am sure I will be raising a glass then and to all our lovely "daddies" today.

Gayle xxx

Well done everyone, especially Gayle for getting through today xxx

Nat and I took some flowers to Paul tonight, they looked nice. Hopefully he s having a pint and steak somewhere which he would much prefer to flowers lol!! Paul s sense of humour comes back to me a lot and not sure how people take it sometimes but it helps me xx It was his humour that helped so much through his treatment and illness, he was so brave xxx Sorry for waffling, having a moment xx

Anyway, here s to all the lovely Dad s that should still be here but sadly not xxxxx

Night lovely penguins

Helen xxxx

I know exactly what you mean.  Wully had a very good sense of humour and all the hospital and hospice staff always commented on it.  If you didn´t laugh you would cry so we both tried to keep our humour.  Wully too would have rathered a dram and a steak than some shells lol. 

I´m 2 wardrobes down, 1 to go... so better get my finger out.

Gayle xx

Come out of the wardrobe Gayle! Big (((((((((hugs to you))))))))) and lots of love.  Keep swimming with the penguins - and tell Ewan that the angels don't come for the shells whilst little boys watch, they are like the Tooth Fairy and Father Christmas, they have to wait unitl small boys are asleep in bed.

Have a good day everyone - mid summer day, longest day of the year, hence shortest night. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Morning everyone.  I hope everyone is okay today.  I had a bit of a houseful yesterday so I didn't get a chance to come back on.  I dropped Toni off just after 10 and was very tired after an exhausting day.  I can't post when I am tired as I sound a bit like I have drunk a bottle of wine - not pretty.  I have been catching up on all your posts so very well done to everyone who found ways of spending yesterday.  I still haven't really got over losing my post yesterday so I will try topost properly again this evening.

Part of yesterday's post was a welcome to Piglet.  I am so sorry to read that you lost your husband.  I hope you will feel some support by joining us here.  They are all so friendly and we try hard to 'huddle' round anyone needing special hugs.  I hope you and your son are managing.  Take things very carefully xx

Gayle I am so pleased you have found some lovely things to do this weekend as well as some useful things - 3 wardrobes!!  Lots of ((((((hugs)))))) to you and your 2 little boys.

I need to go again as I really must get ready for work.  I seem to be struggling with fitting everything in recently.  I know that that probably means I am trying to do too many unimportant things but I don't sem to be able to figure out what is important and what isn't so I am just going hell for leather all the time and getting nowhere fast.  Might be the garage and getting ready for Becky & Declan moving in.  Yes Rosemary - I spoke to Linda and she was lovely.  I got the information I need for the window frame and I will be ringing her this week with some she needed.  Well must be off so take care everyone.  Ailsa xx

Morning all . Gayle i really wanted to do a virgil with you through your 23.55 time but i know you wanted to be on your own hun . I hope your ok , i cant say anything else as i know it was the time you we're dreading . Were all with you today as i know its today by the date .. Hugs and more for your visit to the hospice and to read the memory book . Ah  i can just image Ewen laying down and not wanting to move bless , yes like mum like son comes to mind lol .. Poodle Pooch i have just read your biography and feel free to post at any time , i think you might be needing it too hun . Ailsa SLOW DOWN . thats a order , you even put me in a flat spin thinking about it all , in saying that , the builder starts on my kitchen next monday so this week will be full of emtying things .. I'm sure when you've got Becky and Declan with you you'll have to slow down , or maybe not ...

 Well i can hardley walk this morning , as me and the girls was sat out yesterday after lunch , i started scraping the moss out of the drive (i've been meaning to do it) well the girls set to aswell (whilst theboys watched football ) but before we knew it the whole drive was moss free but hense the bad back this morning lol . Seems to be the season for bad backs , i hope every body elses is improving too , i just hope we dont have any "carry chairs " today .. Patricia thank you for the offer of a chat but i fear the tears would have started again hun , i was just about managing to hold it together as long as i didn;t stop to think to much XX Oh well i'm on lates this week 11 .. 7 so it will be late by the time i get in . Hope everybody is well and the week gets off to a good start ..

 Take care all .

Lynne xxxx