My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Hello Everyone

Just dropping by to send massive hugs to Gayle - and to anyone else who needs them...

Work is chaos and I probably shouldn't have had the day off to go to London, but I am so glad I did! The Lion King was amazing, and H enjoyed it as much as I did... and Covent Garden was a big hit with her too. Did us both the world of good and was just what we needed.

I'm trying to finalise the plans for the manchester meet next Saturday... I'll be sending a group FB message to everyone who has said they are coming along, so if you don;t hear from me - or you would like to join us after all - just give me a shout!

Hope you are all doing OK. Much love, Manda xx

Evening everyone

Fiona - sorry I haven't replied to your text (I think 11.30 is a bit late for me to be texting you now!) had a visitor round for coffee and I am such a slow texter that I knew it would look rude to ignore them for that long!!  Will be in touch tomorrow - sending you lots of love for you and Dad.  And stop using up all the sunshine just now, keep some for when I come to visit!

Ailsa and Helen, just you be careful of your backs ..... I think it's too much exercise that you have both done to get in that state!  Lynne, how lovely that you have had your bestest chum to work with this week, I think an ambulance would go down a storm as a raffle prize - never getting another speeding ticket!

Teri, I know exactly what you mean about reading old blogs and posts.  I always read your blogs and remember tears rolling down my face and wanting to come to the hospital and just hug you (((((  )))).  As Ailsa (I think!) says, reading them can bring everything back so clearly.  So just you look after yourself.  Enjoy the rest of your trip.  Manda, you and H are real Disney aficionados aren't you???  Bet you sang along to every word.  I used to love going to Covent Garden, so am glad that it is still so good. 

Well I managed to excel at daftness at work today ....... Now you have to remember that I am in Scotland so the World Cup has a slightly different take on it cos we are not there! Anyway we have VERY plush reception areas in our offices with flat screen TVs etc which normally are showing Sky News.  Today the Finance Director was standing at one of the screens and he explained that he was just catching up with the results etc.  I couldn't really see the screen that well but could see SW and asked "Oh is that Sweden playing?"  He patiently said "No Judi - it is actually Switzerland" so I looked again and said "Oh, I didn't realise they were playing Haiti" (trying to impress) and he burst out laughing and said "Er .. no Judi HT stands for Half Time"  DOH!!!!   I think I should have got Brownie points for even being able to think of a country with HT in it!  Don't think I will ask for a pay rise just yet.

Penguin love to all, am off to have a wee nightcap and then bed. Judi xxxxx

For Gayle and anyone who needs one this week xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Judi ah bless , i'll sit down one day and explain the off side rule to you lol .. Yes i was impressed that you came up with Hahti xx

Take care all

Lynne xxxx

Morning girls

Just dropping in to leave love and (((((((((((hugs))))))))))))) for everyone - especially Gayle.........

And also to say to Judes that you would probably get your pay-rise just for your entertainment value!!!! And Haiti???  Wow!!!  xxxxxxx

Love and more comforting ((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))) to everyone

Dot xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Dot, lovely to see you here. I hope the builders are almost finished now. it must be so frustrating. Love to you and Alan.

Judi, I had to smile at your post on 'Haiti'. I don't have a clue who is playing in this series. Not remotely interested. (Sorry to all you football fans). 

Gayle, I hope you are managing to hold yourself together today. It must be so hard for you espoecially as you have to deal with the frank and open way that young children perceive things. In time to come they will realise just what an amazing mummy they have.

Manda, I am afraid I have to bail on the Manchester meeting as I have been rostered to work the night before and if recent shifts are anything to go by I won't be in any fit state to meet new people. Sorry. It is my own fault as I forgot (duh) to put in my request for that set off offduty. As a result I am having to miss several things I had planned. Mush for brains scores a goal yet again.

Ailsa, Helen, look after thoise backs. You will need them for a long time to come. Lynne and Fiona, thinking of you and your dads and hoping you are all coping. Lesley, are you ok? Take care of yourself. Teri, I hope you enjoy your trip to the CN tower. I loved it when I went.

Anyone I have not mentioned by name, just know that you are all included in my thoughts.

Love and angel hugs to everyone. x x x Patricia x x x

Hi Patricia and everyone

Such a shame you can't make the Manchester meet. Maybe next time?

I am doing OK thanks, still have my moments but they are nowhere near as frequent,  or as intense and do not last as long. More odd bouts of weeping. Little things make me feel sad sometimes. I miss him so much. It is like we have said before, not having someone to come home to at the end of the day, some one to share with and having to make all the decisions in life on your own. I know it sounds like a down post but it is not really, I am reasonably happy, just feel so alone at times and when I get like that tears seems to come without my realising they are going to. Hard seeing couples out enjoying the sun but keep trying to remember how lucky I was to have had all that and more for thirty years. Also am very lucky to have good friends on here and off to help me through the hard times.

Anyway I hope you are coping alright Patrica, hopefully will see you soon. xx

Judi at least you showed an interest and tried lol!!!! I m looking forward to game tomorrow, going to our local with friends and it has all been re furbished so cant wait to see it!!

Lesley and Manda looking forward to Manchester meet, Ailsa did you say you re going?

Then not long until Lynnes!! Need to check my calendar for my free days at the moment lol!!! I m away Saturday too so busy weekend for next 3 weekends!! All good xxx

I ve been naughty tonight and had a couple of glasses of rose while pottering round garden and making Liam s tea that he probably wont be in for. I cant win!! I dont make tea and he s in I do make tea and he s not!! Oh well lol xx

Been mad at work but nearly weekend, bug higs to everyone. Sorry not many words of wisdom tonight. Just keep swimming!!!

Helen xxx

Lesley, do you have some sort of crystal ball or something? I don't recall saying I was struggling in recent posts.  You are too perceptive by far.

I have been trying so hard to be positive and let my family know that I am ok. Ha........ what do I know.

This past week has been really hard  for some inexplicable reason. Oh well, must  get on with things and try to move forward. Enough said as this is in danger of becoming a very negative post.

I hope that all you lovely penguins are getting by without too many traumas.

I will try to post later when I am not quite so downbeat. So sorry.

This is a new day a new beginning. Each new day is another one to be savoured and enjoyed in some way. To be thankful for reasonable health and the ability to get about and do things. 

Lots of love and angel hugs to you all. x x x Patricia x x x

Ha, ha no Patricia no crystal ball. I did not say you were struggling I asked how you were coping, different thing!

Sorry to hear you are having a difficult time just now, sending  love to you. xx

My mistake Lesley. 

Love and hugs to you and everyone else. I just so hate this new miserable and lonely existence. I am racing through a whole range of emotions today. grrrrr..........  Not one of them is one that I want or cherish. See.  Too negative by far. I must think positive thoughts... I must think positive thoughts.. I must................................................ Will this work?? We shall see.

Bye for now.

Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x