My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Morning !! All Have a great time Teri , hugs to you both .. Patricia , how lovely another baby tobe born to our little penguin posse thats great .. Ailsa your garage sounds fab and lots of visits to ikea mmm nice one lol .. Judi  come on now girl get that packing done , if you forget those white trousers you'll be gutted .. Helen , have a good pamper day today , i love that the flashes of the old Helen are back ,i think our old selves are waiting in the background just waiting to re-ermerge and i'm sure that will happen to all of us . When i started work with the ambulance service about 5 years ago i actually started in another town untill i could get a transfer to my  own town ,when i got here my mum was really ill and Gordon had just been diagnosed and then after we lost my mum my dad had to have his major op (for his cancer) so i feel that all the time i've been working with these bunch of lovely people i have always been walking round with this worried look on my face (its still there ) but i do feel that there is a new Lynne emerging and i might "find" who i am sooner or later and like Helen i'm sure there's flashes there too . I dont think i make much sence at this time in the morning but i think i know what i mean .. I'm off next week so i'm hoping to get lots done so maybe i'll sleep better after then ..

Take care all

speak soon

 Lynne xxxx

Morning everyone

Lynne I know what you mean!! I have only ever seen you with a lovely big smile on your face :) xxx Hope you sleep more next week xxx

Patricia have a good morning shopping xx A gorgeous day again!!

Ailsa how lovely to have Chris on your i pod, I still find photos quite difficult to look at but the psychic I went to see told me Paul wanted me to put a big photo of him up in the bedroom and he would contact me through that. Who knows?? Worth a try I suppose xx

Judi get packing!!!! Have a fab time with boy, I m verrrry jealous xxx

Had a lovely day yesterday, good to get together with the girls and have a good chat and then spent the rest of the day doing the garden so it looks nice now.

Off soon for my pampering, nails, eyebrows and hair lol!! Not out tonight but having girls night out tomorrow.

Have a great day everyone, like Judi said hope everyone else is quiet due to the lovely weather and having things to do.

Love to all

Helen xxx

Morning All,   Well it's a lovely day here, i am on granny duty today had Charlie since the back of seven, he is now down for a sleep so thought i would do a quick post. Teri hope you enjoy your holiday, it will be really nice to meet Brenda. Gayle your post always brings a tear to my eye, you are doing great and i am sure Wully will be so proud of you. Lynne your post this morning makes so much sence how i feel as well. Like you i had so much going on the year Derek was diagnosed my mum in hospital till she died and seeing to Derek's mum and of course being there for Derek i sometimes wonder how i ever got through that year and it is a true saying you get the strengh from somewhere. Helen hope you are enjoying your holiday. Well i am off to get tidied up then i can get out a walk with Charlie. Fiona xxxxxxxxxxxx

Judi   Get that case packed and hope you and boy have a great time and can't wait to see photos.xx

Helen, I hope you enjoy your 'pamper/ day. I was just talking with my daughter and we are contremplating having a 'spa' day (just contemplating).

Fiona and Lynne I know exactly what you mean about so many sad things going on at one time. My mum was ill for about three years before she died and dad was her sole carer. On 28th Jan 2007 she was then diagn0osed with lung cancer and on the 28th March 2007 she died. Whilst I was still grieving for her Ray was diagnosed with lung cancer in May 2008 and the rest is history. My family worry so much about me and I think I manage to hide things from them hahaha what do I know? I guess I am more transparent than I realise.

I actually must have had two hours solid sleep because I have got up this morning hardly able to move due to excruciating back pain. I have not had this for a long time as I only get it when I have slept so heavy that I do not move. Just can't win.

Anyway, I am determined to go out with my niece today pain or no pain.??

Have a good day all.

Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

Just had several very proud mummy moments - have been to watch Alice in her show, and she was FAB!   Her dad would have burst with pride. Perhaps it's no coincidence that it was his farewell service a year ago today. Her solo was 'I have a Dream' from Mamma Mia.

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream

I have a dream, a fantasy
To help me through reality
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness still another mile
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream

sue xx

forgive me for boasting about my little girl - i am so proud of her

Dear Sue, proud mummy moments are good. what a lovely song to have as a solo. I am sure she did you both proud. Hold onto that lovely feeling Sue. It will stand you in good stead for the not so happy days. Well done to Alice for making you feel so happy and proud.

Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

Bravo Alice - what a lovely evening you must have had Sue.  Now don't go an burst with all that pride!!  Judes xx

Sue, just realised what you meant about Alan. Hugs to you hun. x x x

Well done Alice and how lovely for you Sue xxxxxxxxxxxx

Well done Alice!!!! You re so right to be proud Sue xxxx

Patricia dont just contemplate!! Book a Spa day, you ll love it xx

Well I went  for my treatment and they hadnt booked me in but they re arranged and got me in so had a lovely day. Came home and had a few drinkies in the garden joined later by son and his girlfriend for tea and then a few of their friends came round before they all went out. It was so nice as Liam and I had had a bit of a fall out the previous day xx

Fiona hope you had a lovely `Granny` day yesterday.

Lesley how are you? You ve been quiet this week, hopefully it means you ve been busy xxx Lynne do your hols start today? Judi I hope you re packed and ready to go. Have a fab time!!!!! Gayle what are you up to this weekend? Hope this week has been ok, you re getting there xx

Ailsa another weekend in the garage? Alfie hope you re still looking in and enjoying what you can of your holiday. Rosemary the sunsets from the ledge will have been fab the last couple of nights.

Manda hope your holiday is going well.

Well everyone Friday again and a lovely day, I m going to catch up on some jobs this morning then out with the girls for a few drinkies and hopefully a dance or two tonight.

Have a good day everyone

Helen xxx