My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Hi everyone -- and what can I say but thank you, thank you, thank you.  A day that I wasn't particularly looking forward to became one full of texts and messages from my wonderful friends - you have no idea how much they meant to me and how much I smiled.  I have been out for supper with two friends, eaten too much and finished my day with a late night phone call from Boy, just checking I was ok. 

Tomorrow I will catch up with you all properly, until then know that you are all VERY special to me.

Loads of love Judi xx

Morning Manda, just sent you PM. xx

Morning all .......... Just popped on to send huge huge gugs to Fiona , thats so sad Fiona and its bound to bring everyhting back and i hope litte Charlie gets better soon xxx    

  Judi so glad you had a good day , you deserve it xxx 

Have a good day everyone Lynne xxx

So sorry to hear your sad news Fiona. Yet another blow to knlck you for six. I hope young Charlie's health improves soon. Such a worry. I hope your dad is feeling a little better too.

Lynne, how is dad doing? Such a brave man.

Judi, so glad you had a good birthday. Roll on the holiday now. I am sure you will have a fabulous time.

Sue how are you faring? I do hope that they have not destroyed your fighting spirit.

Rosemary, remember we are here for you if you need us. No hiding in corners to cry.

Teri, I am hoping that today is a better one for you. One day at a time eh?

I know I have not mentioned everyone by name but I am thinking of you all.

It just remains for me to say that I hope you all have the best day you can.

Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

Hello everyone,

Judi - glad your birthday went okay and not long now till you are sunning yourself.  Fiona so sorry to hear your sad news and what a worry about Charlie.  It does just bring it all back all the bad memories.  My ex admin assistant's mum is in the same hospice as Wully was in and doesn't have long (although that was a week ago) but haven't heard an update from her since Monday.  I found out last week and was so upset for her when I heard.  I will also need to go to the funeral which I am absolutely dreading as it will probably be in the same place as Wully's and could well be the same minister.  Bren, glad you had a good holiday.  Teri, hope you are doing okay today.  Bug higs and hi's to everyone else.

Well I finally got my last 2 tattoos this morning!  I had wanted to get W J and E for my boys in sanskrit on my leg but was being a chicken so finally got it over and done with this morning after going last week and remembering that it wasn't so bad.  It was bad lol.  This one is much bigger and goes down my leg and it was sore!  I also got a star on my foot and that was sore too but only took him a few minutes so just gritted my teeth and got on with it.  Never mind its done now and really pleased I got them done before the anniversary.  Another tick on my list of things to do this year for me to make myself stronger and happier.  The adrenaline is still pumping though so I am bouncing about here just now lol.  Think I need a cuppa to calm me down.  You get such an amazing feeling after doing it.

Anyway, I am away to calm myself down and get some work done.

Take care penguins

Gayle xxx 

Well, penguins, Ofsted have been and gone. i saw one inspector yesterday for 15 minutes, and that was it.  what a palaver.  don't know any outcomes yet - and don't honestly care.

so - am shattered now, as it's the first time I'v e been able to chill out for such a long time; think i've forgotten how!  After a few boiling hot days, it's raining now which I'm sure is good for the garden but not so good for the frame of mind!

will stop moaning now, and empty the dishwasher!

love to all

Sue xx

Hi Sue.  I bet your glad they are gone even if it is only so you can have that nice long chill.  Sorry about the weather - it is the same here.  I hope you are okay.  I haven't read anymore posts yet - just yours.  I didn't manage to get on yesterday as I had to work hard on the garage to let the plumber do his bit today.  It's coming on and phase one is almost finished.  Phase one was my bit where I sort and tidy the garage and make some space for the builder & the plamber to even be able to get in.  Next week I should start phase 2 rolling byt contacting the builder.  He has till the end of July to do his bit then phase 3 is the plumber.  I hope the dishwasher is empty and you are relaxing now.  Take care - I'm going to read somemore posts.  Ailsa xxx

Hi again.  It is so lovely to be able to read the post this evening.  Judi I am glad you had such a nice birthday.  A belated, but heartfelt happy birthday from me as well xx

I had to stay off here while I did some more work on the garage because my plumber is going away for 2 months at the weekend.  I needed him to change a radiator before he went or the next phase would not be able to happen until he came back.  I am really hoping that phase 3 can start when he gets back so this job that Chris asked me to do can be finished and let me relax.  Anyway - job done, radiator changed so I can slow down and maybe have a week off the garage next week.

The tattoos sound good Gayle.  I keep trying to take in what you say about the pain so that I am prepared and it won't come as a shock when I go for mine.  Stu is designing it for me and it will just be 2 words.  I haven't had one before but I am usuaully good with pain.  I think it will go on my foot.

How are you Patricia?  I notice you keep coming on and encouraging everyone else so I just wandered about you.  Take care xx.

Poor Lynne - another giggle at your expense.  It is a good job you don't mind keeping us all entertained.  I am useless with cars - I even had to go to the garage to get a headlight bulb changed yesterday.  Stu just looked disparingly at me.  Probably wondering why I didn't ask him but I don't like to keep bothering him and he has been helping me with the garage.

Bren it sounds like you had a lovely time with your BIL & SIL.  It's nice to have you back.

Fiona I am so srory about your school friend.  I hope you are okay and that Chralie is soon on the road to recovery so you don't have to worry.

Rosemary how are Sam's college trips going?  I hope she is not too tired by them.

I hopeeveryone else is good tonight.  I have to do a bit more on the garage as Becky is coming at the weekend again and there are a few garage things in the room she sleeps in.  Best bit of news from me is she has been offered a position back up here!!  It is still a bit hush hush but she should be able to move up from the end of June as soon as we can sort things out.  I know it is a lot of moves close together but I would do anything to get her & Declan closer to me and Stu & Toni.  Chris would be thrilled - he hated that she lived so far away.  I will still be down to see you though Rosemary.  Take care everyone.  Ailsa xxx 

Hi everyone

Ailsa, what wonderful news about Becky and Declan - I bet you are so chuffed, and as you say it makes all the moves (sorry, HOW many now??) worthwhile.  Keep going with the project - I am very impressed by it having 'phases' - mine is just one long sort of muddle!

Fiona hun, so sorry to hear about your school friend, penguin snuggles for you and Charlie boy. Rosemary, I was wondering too how Sam's week has been giong - hope she is finding it exciting and not too tiring. Your BIL and SIL sound lovely Bren - it will be a bit odd coming back home, but I have great faith in you, and if you find it starts to get a 'bit much' then you could always start thinking and planning your next visit.  Sometimes plans and the such help us just paddle through the tougher times. 

Lynne - I have a picture in my head now of you on one of those massive American motorbikes that look like a Chopper, the type that you almost lie down and drive .. teehee - you are such a tonic. 

Sue - well done for not deciding to do something totally shocding when OFSTED were in.  And just leave the dishwasher for now, just you have a seat and take a deep breath hun.  I will send  you down some disposable plates until you have found a little energy!  The 'boiling hot' left here on Sunday and we have just had quite chill and lots of rain ....... roll on Greece.  Oh yes, I found out today that BA have very kindly cancelled mine and Boy's flights - but I was keeping a careful eye on the web waiting fo rthe announcement so was first in the queue to get sorted.  We are now flying with British Midland, it means an eight hour wait at Heathrow, but better than missing out on our Road Trip. 

Gayle my little cupcake - the only type of tattoos I will be getting are stick on ones ... ooochh. But I bet they look fantastic - you and Ailsa are far more 'Rock and Roll' than me! lol.  Everything ok on the web front I hope?  I won't be able to make it Monday boohoo.  A friend's sister has just finished a beauty therapy course and I have volunteered to let her wax my legs and eyebrows and underarms (sorry Dave, you maybe don't need this kind of detail!) on Monday night.   I have been growing them specially waiting for her to get her certificate so have informed her she had better be buying the wax in bulk!!! lol.  I have NEVER had my legs or anything waxed before ............ wait a minute ....... what was I saying about you being brave with your tattoos ...... maybe I need to have another think about this idea!

Helen (must be nearly the end of term isn't it - you have been at work for DAYS now!)  I hope that you are enjoying spending time with your friend, lovely to hear hun. xxxxx, Patrica, have a special hug from me to replenish all the ones that you have been sharing with everyone in need.  Manda, how are H's exams going? Lesley, you seem to be speaking a remarkable amount of sense at the moment!!  that is meant in a complimentary way, not cheeky!!  Glad that you are able to see things realistically, you are quite right - crap happened before too, sometimes I guess we need to remember that.  Dottee, Teri, Quill - I hope you are all doing ok and that the sunshine has been warming you a little.  To everyone loads of love.  Speak soon - Judi xx

Judi, you are so funny! Me make sense, what is all that about? You wouldn't be saying that if you could see me at home, managed to put the dirty dishes in with the clean yesterday, then wondered why dishwasher was so full when only set it off the night before, grrr, had to do all over again. Also, thinking it is a good idea to water garden in work clothes, then do weeding, deciding rhubarb is overgrown... good idea to make a cheesecake, completely forgot, dinner was in the oven and that I don't know how to work the food processor, several phone calls taken during whole mess. Result, one very messy Lesley in work clothes, kitchen a tip, burnt dinner but very proud owner of rhubarb and ginger cheescake, yes!

Oh yes got mental picture of very hairy Judi!!! Let us know how you get on. xxxx

Love to everyone else. x