My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Morning all - I'm just dropping in to leave love and lots of comforting ((((hugs)))) for all of my penguin friends..........

Helen - good luck with your event this evening........I hope you do really well

Gayle (I think?) - your tree should live happily in a pot for a while...........It should 'grow to the size of the pot' (that's how my Mum described it).  If you leave it in a small pot it will become a 'bonsai' tree!!!  If it looks uncomfortable (wilting discoloured leaves, droopy branches) then pot it on and give it a bit of general feed.  Just make sure it gets a couple of good drinks of water each day - more in hot weather (should we be so lucky!!)  Hope this helps.......

Love and more ((((hugs)))) to you all

Dot xxxxxxxxxx

For Helen ,xxxxxxxxxxxxx

I am at work and have people walking past all the time, so a very quick post.  But I really, really wanted to say good luck for tonight Helen - every single one of us will be with you and holding your hand and dancing like fools, and sharing a 'small sherry' and generally looking after you.  So go and enjoy yourself, we will all have tissues in our pockets so a few tears are allowed. 

Speak to everyone later - it seems these days weekends are the only time I can have a leisurely read and managed to catch up with everyone's news.

Loads of love

Judi xx

Helen, sending hugs too.  I had a little cry too when I read how upset you were last night as only us can know that awful physical pain of just missing them.  I too was like that last night after watching Glee.  Made me think about things a bit too much I think.  I hope you have a good night tonight and that all the tears are good ones.

I'm off tonight with girls I went to school with so hopefully I will be rough tomorrow - always the sign of a good night!

Take care penguins

Gayle xx

Hi Everyone

The tears have finally stopped Lol!!! Thanks for all the hugs and the tissues Patricia hee hee xx

Feeling a bit stressed, everything nearly done...getting there for 6 to decorate the room and get organised. Need to go and get ready soon so just a quick catch up.

Gayle have a good night, we can both suffer together tomorrow lol x your tree sounds lovely xx

Ailsa hope this weekend is more relaxing for you x

Judi sounds like you need to chill a bit this weekend too x

Lynne cant remember what you`re up to?

Well I will be on tomorrow with news and hopefully lots of photos too

Have a great night everyone whatever you do

Bug higs back to you all

Helen xxx

Hope that you have a wonderful evening, Helen - Paul will be soooo proud of you.

xx

Hi everyone.  Sue I have not been so glad it is Friday for a long time.  Helen lots of good luck and very best wishes for tonight.  I know it is ging to be a marvellous night and a great tribute to Paul - can't wait to see the photos xx

I'm sorry to hear that a few of us are struggling to sleep.  I am still very tired but I think I would be able to sleep if I went to bed for long enough.  I am home for the next few weekends so I am on a mission to catch up on rest.

Gayle I got the hotel booking email for Lynne's weekend in July - thank you.

We have done lots of work in my garage now.  It is beginning to come on.  I have booked 2 tip runs this weekend as I have to let them know I am going with a van - can't just turn up.  I think my clear out/organise bit will be done my the end of the month then I can get the bricklayer in to do the wall and cut the door hole into the house.

Fiona I hope you had a lovely time doing your Granny duties.  I'm looking forward to seeing you again in July.

Helen I think that whatever I do this weekend has to be more relaxing than helping Becky to move house or last weekends anniversary.  You have a relaxing weekend as well after this past week and tonight.

Stu has been busy in my garage all day as he had a day off and he is excited about the work I am doing as we come across so much of Chris's stuff so we are going to have a takeawy and a few beers tonight.  Should be nice.  I hope everyone else has some nice things planned for the weekend.  Take care.  Ailsa (go steady on the clothes horse Gayle!!) xx

Hi everyone

Big hugs Helen, hope the night was incredible.  Can't remember all everyone said now but Judi, lost shoes means only one thing to me - SHOPPING!!!

Dan's brother's visit last weekend was great, so nice to have someone in the house and cook for someone and company.  It just made me realize how lonely I am when he left on Monday.  But we had some good talks, we have always been able to talk when one of us was going through tough times - his divorce, etc.  Great to see him and dummy me gave him the wrong registration papers so he couldn't transfer the car yet.  I had to go to get another one today and will send it express to him tomorrow.  My brain is not working at all these days. 

Max and I have enjoyed looking after the poodle across the road, she is very cuddly and sits on my lap every time I sit down.  The cat is not happy at all.  He left me a mouse on the rug yesterday,  I put it in the garbage and later on heard a rustling from the garbage bin.  Guess it was still alive, I just went on up to bed and left it there. 

Tonight is lonely, every time I have a busy weekend, the next weekend is so hard.  My group is going well, there is going to be an overnight retreat in June and I would love to go if I can get someone to take my Max for the night.  I am glad I found this group, I think it is good for me.  This week was sad, we talked about the funerals but I guess we need to do that and cry it out. 

I haven't thought about plans for the weekend, another sore throat threatening and I am trying to fight it off once again, I have never been this ill so often.  Right now it is thundering and lightening and heavy rain, I want to let the dogs out but the little one is afraid of the storm. 

Hope you are all doing as well as you can.  Ailsa I totally agree with you about Fridays, not enjoying them at all and can't stand having people wish me a good weekend.  This weekend is Mother's day in Canada but I don't celebrate it not being a mother and not having one so double whammy.

take care

Brend

Morning all .. yes another early one , i would love to stay in bed or even have more than a couple of hours sleep at a time but it seems to be a commen theme between us , oh well lots to do today ..

Helen , well by now you will be looking back on your night and thinking what a great success it was . Cant wait to see the pics and i hope Nat and Liam had a good night too . xx 

Bren yes the weekends can be lonely so glad that you had a good one last weekend . Your group sounds great and i hope you manage to get  away with them , i know how much our meets mean to us .. Ailsa , its lovely that your getting on with the garage so well , how have you been (emotionaly)this week ?

Judi oh the joys of full time work eh  never no proper time, always catching up with one thing or another , i will say tho after muy blitze of the house the other week i am finding things easier in the house . It feel a bit like "i've made space for myself" not sure if that makes sense but i know what i mean (i'm probably the only one that does lo ) Gayle , hope you had a good night , never again ????  Not long for out manchester trip to see J E ..And thanks Manda forn organising the other manchester trip (shopping , lunch , drink ) I'm going to ask my freind (Ellen ) to come , but it was her husbands funeral yesterday so i'll give it till i get back off holiday . Another lady from the PCA site which i was on last year has been in touch with  me , she followed my story last year and she has now lost her husband to the dam cancer so i think as soon as we get connected on FB i will be sending a few friend requests out . Thank you all for making friends with Ellen , i'm sure she'll be on to get support soon xx Well i've got a busy couple of days before i go away .. Got Maddie this morning , shopping and hair this afternoon , going for a meal with work mates tonight , and got all the kids for lunch tommorow , and some where in between i've got to pack ..Hugs to all xxx

 Have a good weekend everybody ..

 Be back later

Take care

 Lynne xxx

Morning xxx

Lynne I have managed 4 hours sleep!! Thought I would sleep today too, oh well lol!!

What a night. The place was absolutely packed!! So many old faces from school and all of Paul`s friends and family. The raffle prizes that were donated were fantastic and the auction went well. Everyone commented on the buffet and it was lovely.My friend had decorated the room with balloons and table cloths in our high school colours and I put photos of Paul around the room. Natalie did us all proud with her lovely speech about Paul and the night and `the committee` as they called themself hee hee had the night organised to the final detail so everything ran smoothly.

I kept it together until I was presented with flowers at the end and Liam wanted `You ll never walk alone` played. The whole room was on the dance floor and it was dedicated to Paul, well that was when I lost it a bit!! But with friends by my side and tissues lol!! I got up and we all sang to Paul, although a lot of them were singing it to me which set me off even more lol!!!

No one wanted to go, even after the lights came on and last orders had gone people were still chatting and remembering. Got home about 2 o clock.

We raised £2500 on the last count, which is absolutely amazing!!! All going to the head and neck cancer reasearch so really pleased.

What a week!!! Nothing planned this weekend so hopefully going to catch up on rest like Ailsa and start again next week.

Have a lovely day everyone

Helen xxx