My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Morning all , well as you can gather i cant sleep so just want to send a hug to Helen first (((( hugs)))) in case you dont have time to get on tommorow , i hope the fund raising night is fantastic and cant wait to see the photos , How lovely that you and Paul was at high school together , i actually shed a tear or 2 for you last night thinking about it , anyway in your words "keep swimming " xx 

 Judi has Gayle given you your shoes back yet ? Any news on the house hunting? xx Ailsa so glad you've got Becky and Declan coming to stay again and good luck for the job interview Becky xx 

 Lesley i really hope you managed to sort your confused thoughts out with Gayle but knowing Gayle well !!!! ha ha just joking Gayle xx Tjanks hun for sorting the hotel  out for everybody i really appriciate it and cant wait for it to come now . If you haven't paid for breckie you can all come to mine on sunday morning for it and if you have i will come to you . My house might be in a mess if i get to start the building work but hey ho i'll give you all a paint brush (not to eat )  or something lol xx 

Amanda the shopping (drinking) trip to manchester sounds great and yes i am gradually sending out friends requests between the 2 groups but i think i know about 50 (widows) in all on face book but dont interact with them all , some are just friends of friends so i will only send out to some of them , so glad to see that some of you are already interacting with some of them xx

 Fiona how is Darrenand your dad  doing now ? Thank you for always asking about mine . He was a little better yesterday but i know he's not really right . Not sure what will happen now . He's back at the hospital next week whilst i'm away but big sis will go with him xx

 I've tried to stay pretty upbeat even though i always feel that as i feel better something comes to knock me down , well i'll keep getting back up . I've got a busy couple of weeks coming up and my daughter actually asked if she could "book " me for a shopping day . It does seem like i'm busy all the time but it also seems to me that i spend a lot of time on my own . Why do they days seem longer now , had Gayle really fixed it for everybody to have a 36 hour day Judi ? Oh well in Helens words keep swimming xx Patricia and Sue thank you for all your words of support there always welcome xx To everyone i havn;t mentioned hugs xx

take care

 Lynne xxx

Morning everyone from me as well.  I have an early start at work today.  Lynne you are sounding so busy so it's a shame you can't sleep.  I haven't slept properly for a few weeks for various reasons and it doesn't make you feel very well does it?  I hope you were able to let your daughter 'book' you for shopping as that is always the next best thing to sleep!!

I can't stay on long this morning but just wanted to send Helen lots of ((((((hugs)))))) for today.  I am sure you will still be feeling okay today Helen - I think that is maybe how it works.  The children will keep you busy.  I will be thinking of Nat & Liam as well today.  Take care xxxx

Morning, Just a quick post to send you big HUGS Helen hope you get through the day ok, and also i hope your charity night  goes well like Lynne i can't wait to see the photos. " keep swimming " Thanks Gayle for booking the hotel for July. Well i am doing my granny duties today got Charlie but he is having a wee sleep just now, just hope it stays dry and i will get out a walk later. Lynne i hope your dad gets on ok at the hospital and he starts to improve, it is a worry. When is it you go on hols? i do hope you get away with all this ash floating about the scottish airports were all closed yesterday again. Like you i try and keep busy all the time but sometimes i think it makes it harder when you are on your own as i just hate being in the house on my own. Hope everyone else doing ok and i send hugs, better go and get some work done while Charlie still sleeping. O to late thats him waking. Fiona xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Morning everyone,

Fiona, hope you have a good day with Charlie.  Lynne sorry to hear you never slept.  My insomnia is back too for some reason although I am shattered today so hopefully will be able to sleep tonight.  We have got breakfast booked so you can join us (unless you are on a never again mood!) and I'm not eating paint brushes for breakfast!  Helen, I have sent you a message on FB. 

I bought a new cross trainer yesterday (and no it is not a new clothes horse as some have said lol).  Well it came in a million pieces and Colin was laughing at me on the phone and offered to help so of course stubborn me - nope I can do this.  3 hours later I phoned him back and told him to get over lol.  One of the bolts isn't right though so it wasn't my fault so he has taken it away and getting it fixed and will come back and finish it.  He got rushed into hospital yesterday which is a bit of a worry and of course then drives over to mine at midnight - he got a row for that!  He has a bad lung infection which then causes breathing problems so hopefully he will get it fixed soon.  His mum is a consultant GP so he is in the best hands.  Then I can start getting fit on my cross trainer (or use it a clothes horse ;-)). 

I also got a lovely gift yesterday.  When I was pregnant with Ewan (nearly 5 years ago!!! where does the time go) I joined an online group for women with babies due the same month as him and some of us have stayed friends ever since mostly through FB.  When Wully died they wanted to do something so they have bought me a Rowan tree which arrived yesterday (they wanted to do it in spring as that is best time to plant).  It is so lovely and came with such a nice card - very touching.  Not sure where I will plant it yet as this house is rented but it is small at the moment so might put it in a large pot and then I can move it somewhere before it gets too big although not an expert so any gardeners out there can give me some advice.

I havent decided yet about Wully's niece on FB and I am just ignoring it at the moment (my usual plan of attack when big problems come along), but you are right Ailsa - not sure how long I can do that for.

Well I had better go and do some work as it won't do itself.

Take care everyone

Gayle xxx 

Helen hope you are doing ok and all the very best for tomorrow, I'm sure it will go well. 

Ailsa it was lovely talking to you and putting a voice to the name and the person I have come to know online - and as said then it's you lot with the accents!  lol  Really looking forward to next Tuesday.

Lynne are you ok hun, FB status has me worried. Hugs for you and Dad xxxx

Not feeling too good tonight so just popped in and read everyones news so sending love and hugs all round.  Been to the dentist and had a tooth recreated (remember the one that broke? I finally did something about it £97.00 ouch!)  and generally feeling down it must be that May feeling.  Hope you are all ok xxxxxxxx

PS Gayle, did you know that your niece in law can still read a lot of your wall posts anyway?  I would possibly add her (how old is she?) and let them see that you are ok, you do have fun and you also have down days as well, alternately it doesn't harm to ignore the request you can claim it slipped your mind if it's mentioned at all or just blame the Facebook admin and say you never got the request. xxxxx

Evening all ,

 Hi rosemary , yes i'm fine hun , i'm sure i'm only going through what you've all been through , Hope your tooth is sorted now hun xx.

Helen hope your still swimming xx

Love to all

Lynne xxx

Evening everyone

Been to our local tonight to have a few drinks with friends in Paul`s memory xx But now having a good boo hoo, so many tears and missing him so much xxx

Got tomorrow to come so probably best to let it all out tonight xx

All organised and looking forward to it. Even wearing a dress!! Sure there will be plenty of photos xx

Night night from one soggy penguin!!!

Helen xxx

Oh dear it seems like a few of you are feeling very 'down' at the minute. Unfortunately my poor aged brain can't remember who said what so I will just send a group (((((((((HUG))))))))))) to you all.

Helen, I have been thinking about you today and hope you and the kids are ok. Good luck tomorrow, I imagine it is going to be a very emotional evening x x x

Lynne, hope your dad starts to feel a little better soon.

Gayle, how lovely of your friends to send such a thoughtful gift.

This evening I went to visit a friend of Ray's. Her husband let me in and when I walked ito the room she was in floods of tears. Family issues. I offered to leave but she asked me to stay. I have no idea why I chose today to go visit but somehow it appears I picked the best day to go coz she told me her woes and then felt a little better. At least I was of some use to someone for a change.

Anyway, I hope all you who are having difficulty sleeping have a better night. I think I am a true insomniac because I have not slet properly for a very long time.

Love and angel hugs to all my penguin friends x x x Patricia x x x

Oops Helen, you must have posted whilst I was writing mine.

(((((((((((Big Hugs))))))) and a box of tissues on their way to you x x x

Love Patricia x x