My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Thats true but even funnier - they are definitely the good ones!

I m still here, gone on water now though, feeling the wine lol!!! I ve said never again toooo many times hee hee xxx

Ailsa I m still here for a bit, bug higs xxx Paul died about 1.30 too (wednesday morning last year), I cant remember exact time. But how strange xxx

Oooh me thinks that you are posting while tipsy Helen!!!  I hope you are doing okay and you know too that we are all thinking of all the time at the moment.  Wully died at 23.55 on fathers day - he was determined that it was going to be that day or thats what I say so we wouldn't forget the date.  He would have had a good chuckle at that.  I have been feeling a bit blue but probably because of your dates coming up and knowing that Sue and then mine are soon after and so on.  I had my friend Colin over last night too and had a cry as we were talking about the stuff that gets a bit too close to the bone if you know what I mean.  He has offered to take me to the hospice and crematorium on the anniversary to help me through it as I want to spend the day in Falkirk remembering Wully.

I read the thread today from the start but only got to about August last year and then had to stop as ran out of time.  It is very sad and different reading our posts back then.  I was reading about you and Ailsa and about going back to work and at the start it really was just the two of you posting to each other, then Kev joined in then Sue and Fiona then me and Lynne and so on.  What a great group we have now through some horrible circumstances and hopefully we will continue to grow and help others. xx

I m not too bad. Yeah I m ok, had tears before that wouldnt stop but gone now. It makes for an interesting read if you go back xx Ailsa and I had so much in common at first and then all you lovely ladies joined and had exactly the same experiences. We have shared it all and continue to do so xxx

Ailsa where are you ? Even if you re just reading xxx

Bug higs

Helen xxx

Hi - just wanted to post before I go to bed.  The kids have gone home or off to bed now and I think most everyone else has gone to bed by now so so should I.  I'm glad they were all here tonight - I held back the tears until now.  Gayle it is good that Colin is someone you can talk to.  I have only shared the 'near to the bone' stuff with the counsellor so far.  Helen it is good to read the early posts when you were the first person to answer me and then everyone else joined us as well.  I have been comforted by each persons message on here, fb & my mobile tonight so thank you.  Have tears to deal with now but in the morning I will tackle that garage and be more positive.  Looking forward to the nice long weekend and a good rest.  I will be back on here tomorrow morning a brighter and happier person now this anniversary has passed.  Might just pop down for a small bailey's before I go - has to be done doesn't it xxx

Morning All . Oh my dear Ailsa , you did very well to hold the tears for so long and i really hope your day goes ok today , i'm sure the "kids" will keep you occupied . We're still all thinking about you and i think Like Judi said after these few days maybe the dates wont seem as bad . I know at my mums first anniversary , on the build up to it i could have gone through her llast 1o0 days hour by hour but on the second i focussed just on the day , i know its different but i am also  hoping the second year is easier than the first .Take care today xxx

Amanda you really do have a way with words lol please remind me never to cross you , but i do hope that what ever upset you , you get it sorted it out , and like Gayle says , dont hold back  ha ha .. Helen enjoy your day today , a trip to the hairdressers is always good especially if your going out afterwards . I'm booked in for next sat and i'm hoping to have my nails done before i go away. What you up to today Gayle ? .. I've got Mads birthday party at lunch time and depending on the weather they may have a bbq later and then later on its a trip to my sisters pub as its her husbands  6oth today , ok ok i know , i wont say never again in the morning .. Whats everybody else up too ? xxxxxx

Morning everyone

Ailsa well done at getting through last night and this morning. Another step xxx

Hope today goes ok xxx

Have a good day Lynne, like you say having my hair done then meeting a friend for a meal and few drinks later. Looking forward to it xx

Lesley what have you decided to do? Hope the sun lasts but not convinced lol!!

Where was Rosemary last night when we were all having a drink hee he? Having a night off lol?

Have a good day everyone whatever you re up to xxx

Helen xxx

Morning everyone,

Ailsa, you did so well and its good that you are surrounded by family this weekend.  The garage sounds a great idea and will give you something energetic to focus on too.  I was thinking of you last night when my clock came to 01.27.

Lynne, enjoy Mads party and behave lol.  I will be anticipating the never again post tomorrow.  Helen, enjoy your day getting pampered and hope you have a nice night out tonight.

I don't have much planned - was supposed to go out Thursday and I cancelled and then my friend cancelled on me last night as she is skint but I was kind of glad as she can be a handful with a drink lol.  I will be catching up on housework today as it hasn't been done for ages with all my jetsetting and work and then I will have to do some more work as it is nearly caught up but will probably take another week before I feel more at ease with the workload.  Trained up my mum yesterday so hopefully that will help.  Having another night in tonight which sounded like a good idea yesterday but not sure now - will be so bored by tomorrow. Colin has offered to come over and watch a dvd or something as the girl he is seeing is away so might just do that - at least its company.  The sun is shining here so hopefully the boys will play outside and give me peace to get the cleaning done! 

Have a good day everyone

Gayle xxx

Morning, everyone

ailsa, hope you're ok today - loads of hugs being sent to you.

It's lovely here at the moment, but the weather forecast is grim - the question is, do I cut the grass now, knowing that the rain is on its way, or do i go up to town as i usually do on a Saturday morning, and use the rain as an excuse later on for not getting the grass done?

It's a good job that i don't have to make any really important decisions at the moment - does anyone else find that their decision-making  has gone all to pot? Like  my dear dad used to say, i couldn't make up my mind what colour to whitewash a ceiling these days!

Ah, welll, perhaps another coffee will help. Doubt it somehow, but at least I can procrastinate a bit longer.

sue xx

Morning all!  Well after cracking open the bottle with Lynne last night (cyberly speaking that is) Sam came down for a chat about her day (they had been up to London to be tourists) so I ended up closing down the computer and eventually going off to bed.  I did wake up at 00.45 thought so I could think of Ailsa and be thinking of her through "the hour" so to speak - so proud of you Ailsa you did very very well xxxxxxx

I hope you all behaved in an appropriate manner whilst I was snuggled in the cushions on the ledge, I diid leave a couple of bottles out for you Judi (ever thoughtful eh?), I have the original Baileys and also some caramel stuff which is quite nice, finished the bottle of M & S stuff though sorry.

Spent so long catching up with all of last night and this morning now run out of time, but glad you all understood and liked my post .... oh and I got the pictures on this computer too (posted originally on laptop now on desk), they are only part of the email thingy, did anything come out for the rest of you?  Will be back later, love you all lots xxxxxxx