My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Manda, I hope H is ok hun. Good luck with blood tests.  As for Meadowhall, of course it would be lovely to see you. Oh and thanks for tyhe angel hugs.

Hope everyone is having a reasonable day. I have been doing the devils work and doing the ironing yuk.

Love and angel hugs from this tired penguin x x x Patricia x x x

Evening all, hope you are well and bubbling along nicely.  Been having a few busy days here and more coming up but trying to look in and keep up with you all - also having got the cold from Sam I have been feeling tired and gumpy, achey and stuffed up too, haven't had a cold for about 18 months or more so shouldn't complain but it's really brought me down. 

Had to go to the hospital today where Steve got his first diagnosis from the gasto-enterologist and the nightmare began.  Sam has had IBS for ages, she is so like her father and worries about so much and always seems to have tummy troubles, I do worry about how it might go in the future but she has got very worried of late and was in tears (did I tell you about this) last week and I got her to the doctor to be checked over. The GP suggested seeing a consultant so he could put her mind at rest that it was nothing more serious and he referred her to a very nice man, but as I said it was at the same hospital that Steve had to go to, I was trying very hard not to think about it and thought I was ok til we were driving up the M23 and I was fighting back the tears and the lump in my throat, thinking of you guys helped and Sam didn't notice, bless her she was nervous and I didn't want to worry her further.  We then had to wait over half an hour beyond our appoointment time and would you believe we were shown into exactly the same room that I went to with Steve?  Different consultant but I couldn't believe it.  Anyhow he was a lovely man and chatted to us and made Sam feel at ease (I don't think he quite knew what to make of her), he said he was almost certain that all she described was IBS symptoms but he couldn't know for certain without a colonoscopy and it was decided that she will go for that as she can't put her mind at rest otherwise and if (heaven forbid and all the angels please protect her) it is anything more serious he can deal with it from there onwards.  So 18th May is the day, all positive thoughts would be gratefully appreciated, I am taking her up there but she has asked if Wayne can pick her up, that hurt but I know I have to stand back and let him be her special person now. 

So here I am, I've watered all the garden and the allottment/veggie patch (we have potato plants popping up!) I've spoken to father-in-law, sister away in Bude, best mate on the Isle of Wight, let Gerodie out for a wee, let Dave in for food, let Dave out again, put the Maltesers away as both dogs were nearly in my lap AND drooling disgustingly, the tv is off as there is nothing worth watching (wasn't Gordon Brown a pratt?  Mind you the BBC didn't have to broadcast the private conversation, do they thing we don't know these MP's lie and say things behind our backs?) I've nearly finished by Magners and might get a coffee to slurp (with Baileys of course) whilst reading my book.  I am sending you all a big hug, a wave and lots of love.  xxxxxxxxxx

PS Manda what sort of "funny do's" is H having?  Forgive me if I've missed something, or being nosey, being a wierdy witch thought I might know something to help. xxxxx

Hi folks I have been far too stressed out to post but have been reading but I am lost don't know who is going where, who is moving who is not. Joni and Tab have parted company and they are fighting through their lawyers as she will not allow him access to baby Murray, she changed the locks on the door and his lawyer said that is against the law but that's about as much as he will tell me other than his lawyer is asking for lots of access knowing that he will not get as much as she is asking for but it is a starting point. I had some anti depressants from the Dr 2 weeks ago but they take a while to kick in so I will just have to wait. Back to Dr tomorrow to report how everything is going, I am planning on going alone so I might not make it lets hope there are no panic attacks on the way. my daughters FIL fell today and has 2 nasty breaks in his ankle she cannot get a day off without a drama. Joni and Claire took a Wii 32 audio books 12 CD's and 2 CD players to the ward Bert was in as I could not face going back so soon we still have some money left to get some other bits and bobs but that's what they asked for.

Hopefully once Tabitha gets her letter from Joni's Lawyer we shall get to see Murray soon

Love to everyone

Teri

Rosemary, such a worry for you. I can understand Sam being so worried and hope everything is ok in the end.

Teri, so sorry you are feeling so bad. It doesn't help with all the added family stress does it. Let's hope the panic attacks remain at bay.

Ok you two, into the centre of the huddle with you. Come on..... no arguing. These arms are stretching to surround you.

Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

Morning everyone.  Sleep has once again escaped me so I realise I have an opportunity to catch up on what everyone has been doing.  To be honest I am not doing terribly well and I am not sure what to do about it.  I think I just have to ride it out and hope that Saturday morning comes round and I calm down.  I am doing far too much and I haven't been eating properly so that will not be helping at all.  But once I found myself awake at 4 this morning I decided I might as well get up and see if catching up on here helps me to feel better.  Even just a quick look tells me I am not the only one so I will read through.  Lots of ((((((((bug higs)))))))) to everyone.  Ailsa xxx

Hi again.  I have read through all the posts from all you lovely people since last week when I started Becky's move.  I managed to catch a few things while I was at Becky's but somethings were a bit of a mystery to me and now I feel I know a little more.

Gayle - I will pm you on fb later today about hotels for Gordon's charity event in July.  I hope you are starting to recover - I enjoyed your starstruck stories!

Lynne - I saw something on fb about the ticket mixup - true to form.  Glad you got home okay and had a good day in York.

Patricia how is your knee - did you manage the walk into town?  Manda it would be great to see you at meadowhell as well.  I am okay for a meet after mid-May.  How about you two - Lynne & Patricia?  Probably have to wait until Lynne has been to Benidorm.  I will try to pm about this as well.  Manda the news about H & Oxbridge is brill.

Teri I hope you are okay.  You are having a dreadful time.  I hope something gets sorted out very soon that means you & your son get to see Murray.  Please try to look after yourself.  Hope you get on okay at the doctors.  ((((((hugs))))))

Thanks for your concern Helen.  I have been just the same as you were after the planning meeting for Paul's fundraiser.  I was so busy with Becky's move but when I fell into bed on Tuesday night I cried myself to sleep.  I am dreading Friday night.  I know the 2nd is the anniversary but the events of the 1st - Friday into Saturday - are vividly in my head.  I will get to Saturday though.  The kids are all around and we need to be there for each other.  How is nat?

Rosemary I'm sure that everything will be okay for Sam on the 18th just because if her IBS history but you must both be very worried.  It is a good thing to have the procedure and put your minds at rest.  I ring to sort the details for our meet shortly as I promise to try to slow down over the next couple of days.

Judi - when is your house being valued?  I hope it is good news as you sound like it is something you really want to do.

Hi Sharon - sorry it has taken me a while to welcome you.  Glad you had a good day in York at the weekend.

Bren it sounds like you have a very busy May planned.  How is your car?  My van passed it's MOT yesterday so that is one less thing to worry about.  Is it next weekend that your BIL takes Dans' car?

Fiona your friend sounds like a lovely, true friend.  I'm glad your sister is feeling a bit better now as well.  Did you say you are going to Gordon's charity event in July?

Well I really must get ready for work.  Think I will have a tired one today.  Sorry i have run out of time but i have run out time so good morning to Lesley, Sue & Dot and also to Quill & Dave.

Sorry for the very long post but you have all been so busy while I was moving Becky!!  Take care everyone.  Ailsa xx

Morning all and first of all special hugs to Teri , Rosemary and Ailsa it puts my problems into perspective so i'm going to get a grip and get on with things .

Helen how is your fund evening coming on , have you heard if the specialist is going to come and talk to everyone yet ?

 Ailsa , Patricia , Manda (and anyone else close to meadowhell ) i'm up for a meet there . Yes probably have to wait till after i get back but if you ladies wanted to organise something whilst i wasn't here that will be fine , there will be other times . I would probably have to meet on a weekend but i am off the week begining 7 th june . Anyway just a quick one as i'm in work early this morning .

Love and  Big big hugs to you all xxxxx

Take care

Lynne xxxxx

Hi everyone.

Just trying to catch up with everyone's news.  Scottish hugs on their way south to all.  Ailsa and Helen I am thinking of you over the next week and squeezing your hand everytime it's needed. 

Manda .... what about your H!!  She is some kiddie.  I think Cambridge and then I can picture her cycling round on and old fashioned bicycle with a stripey scarf on!  

Teri, we are all thinking of you at the moment hun, I so hope that some access can be sorted out for you to see Murray soon. 

Lynne, typical of me to a whole week out with your dad's appointment, sorry!  Is he improving any yet?  Your 'no holiday this year' lasted all of what ..... three days.  Excellent, go with sis and have a ball.

My friend, actually my old boss, came round to look at the falt and give me a pessimistic valuation, I say pesimistic because that it what I asked him to do, I didn't want him to 'big it up' at all.  He said about what I thought, although he did say (which I really knew already) that in the area I would like to stay there are very few 'wee houses' so they get chased after.  There are plenty of HUGE houses, but I can't afford one of them!! And have no wish to dust one anyway.! 

We then went out supposedly for a pint, my way of saying thank you, but ended up having a lovely meal in a French Bistro which he paid for while I was in the loo!!!  How kind was that.  Anyway his company are going to come and do the full home Report that you need in Scotland before you sell and I have instructed a solicitor (we don't do it thought Estate Agents up here!) to come and take photos etc for the schedule.  That should all happend next week.  So I have a few repair jobs and some painting to get on with I think.  Boy is happy for me to do what I think is best and as long as there is a bed or a settee for him to sleep on he is happy!  I wouldn't dream of buying a home without a bedroom for Boy, don't worry. 

Woke this morning at 3.30 - Ailsa I think I heard you walking around and it woke me - I tried to go back to sleep but got up at 6 and was at work before 8 (unheard of from me) but was home by lunchtime cos I was so tired I looked dreadful and was packed off!  Just my brain now working overtime, I think you will all understand that.

Gayle, I have sent you a message on FB, yes I am home and have the day off on Monday so I would LOVE to see you. 

Off to walk the dogs now, they have no idea what time of day it is cos their mum is keeping 'mad hours'.  Loads of love  Judes xxx

Hi everyone,

Ailsa and Helen - you have a tough week ahead but you know that we are all here holding your hands.  Take care both of you and we all know that you will get through it. 

Rosemary - try to not worry too much (I know easier said than done).  She is so young that I am sure it is nothing sinister.  I remember when Wully had his first endoscope and was then diagnosed I asked the nurses how many people that were there on the night he had his test (there were loads - it was like a conveyor belt) got bad news and she said it was very rare.  Just try and hold onto that thought.  I was diagnosed with IBS when I was pregnant with Ewan and still have it I think although not convinced as think it is something female going on but just cant be bothered going to docs.  I know I really should rather than put up with the daily pain but I just don't have the time.

Im doing alright this week - still a bit tired but getting there.  I slept in this morning and then we were late for school and just before we got there Jamie announced he had left his bag at home so we had to go back to get it so they never got there till 9.30 - bad mum!  And its parents night tonight (god I hate these things on your own) so that will be fun.  Work is still manic but I have now hired my mum to work as my admin assistant!  She is coming over tomorrow to get trained up. 

Better go as need to go and see Jamie's teacher.

Speak to you all soon

Gayle xx