My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

less than 8 hours now lynne x x x

Lynne.....is it all over now????????????

Thanks Dottee yes its all over nowand i'm still standing (just) Thanks for the texts Patricia i'm glad i kept you amused lol . To tell you the truth i'm more frustrated with this lad and i cant believe that he says some of the things he says to patients and the impression he gives is not a good one . I did have a chat with him this afternoon , as he said the woman he worked with last week had said to him that she'd had the worst week ever with him , well i think i,m a little bit more diplomatic than her and i tried to point out his good points anf gently tried to tell him that some things are just not acceptable , but to tell you the truth i dont think he'll ever change , he has had loads of complaints against him and 1 day he will do or say something that cant be ignored .. Any way i want to say TFIF but as i have no plans i 'm a bit fed up .. I',m going into estate agents tommorow to sign and give them some money to get things in motion . Hope every body else has some good plans xxxx

Oh dear Lynne, I truly didn't realise just HOW bad it was. It makes the job so much harder whebn you are trying to smooth things over doesn't it? Sorry for laughing x x x

Good luck with the estate agents.  I hope the house sells well if that is what you want.

Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

Thats ok my dear Patricia , i've coped with worse , it must have been funny to see me walking round shaking my head all week , I hope you have a better night at work hun . and i do want the house to sell now , the sooner the better ..

I am not working tonight.

I have gone to bed early.

x x x

HI everyone, a really quick hello tonight as the computer is still no where near the keyboard which in  turn is not where near the monitor an dthe mouse is just about reachable!!  Mum and dad here - so glad that they DIDN'T decide to fly this time!!  HAd a day of dad 'fixing' stuff and putting up curtain rails etc.  Am just about to go and have a glass of wine with them, but needed a wee fix of my chums here. 

I love my dad SO much but find it so difficult when he the conversation goes along the lines of 'new friends', 'socialising', worrying about me 'staying in' so muych.  I know he jsut don't 'get it' and why should he - but all he wants is for me to be happy (for that I think her really means meet someone else!!!)  I don't have teh words to explain that in fact in this 'new life' I am actually as happy as I think I can be.  HAd a lovely tea and we had a good old laugh about Boy and me going to Greece - they came out to seem me there in 1984 so remember the island well. 

Will pop in again tomorrow hopefully - til then loads of love and Lynne - well done for dealing with 'the baby'. 

Night all - Judi xxx

Hi everyone.  Sorry I have not been around for a couple of days.  I am very down right now.  I am certain it is the run up to the 2nd May so I need to try to drag myself out of it.  I just feel like hiding away.  I am re-living every day leading up to Chris's death.  My usually shocking memory seems to be having no problem remembering every details of this time last year.  I am still keeping myself busy which is probably no bad thing but the looming 'catastrophic day' never seems to be far from my thoughts.

Lynne I am glad your nightmare week is finished now.  I was so pleased to ready that several of us are planning to come to your 3rd of July charity do.  That is something to look forward to.  We can sort out accomodation as soon as Gayle is home - volcanic ash permitting.  Good luck at the estate agents tomorrow.  I know what you mean about doing thngs on our own now.  Chris & I planned some work on the garage to give us a downstairs loo.  He insisted on discussing it before he died so that I would still go ahead with it this year.  That is easier said than done as I am struggling with the tradesman bit of it.  Chris took care of things like that.  He was good at speaking to people and explaining what he wanted.  I really need to get this done so i think I must draw a scaled plan of what I need the garage to look like when it is finished.  I am going to try to do it tomorrow evening.  But I really can't help thinking this would be so much easier if he was here.  The visit to the spiritualist meeting sounds like it was interesting.

Helen - your right - we do seem to be a bit quiet on here right now.  Here's hoping it is because everyone is very busy getting on with life.

Fiona it is great to hear from you again.  I'm glad the laptop is fixed without the need to buy a new one.  I'm looking forward to seeing you again in July.

Patricia you, Lynne & I should plan our Meadowhell trip.  I am busy until after I meet with Rosemary in the middle of May but after that I am free so maybe we can arrange it for then.  I could do anytime from Friday the 14th May.  Is a weekend day best for us?  Lynne is a weekend day best for you?  Have you managed to work out who is meeting who when & where yet?  If you haven't I will ring and explain it all to you as it is not fair that you are still trying to catch up after your trip to Japan!!!

Bren & Teri you both seem to be having your own kind of difficult time.  Teri I really hope things get sorted out for your son & his partner soon so that you can see Murray regularly - lots of ((((((hugs)))))).  Bren it must be dificult sorting through Dans tools and things.  When I start on the garage I will have to do the same with chris's tools.  I am hoping to hang onto them and even learn how to use some of them.  Other than that my plan is to keep them available then the kids know where they are if they need them - save them buying more.  It is such a shame we don't live closer to you.  That was a lovely gesture by your colleagues to get you flowers.

I hope everyone else is okay as it seems I am not the only one who hasn't posted for a few days.  How is everyone else?  Has anyone got interesting plans this weekend?  Take care everyone.  Ailsa xxx

Hi Judi, I hoped someone would post while I was writing mine - makes me feel less alone.  Such good news that your parents got to you this time.  Dad's are funny.  Mine was asking me last night if I knew what I want to do for the bank holiday weekend because it is the anniversary of Chris's death.  He so wants to try to fix it for me.  Enjoy your glass of wine.  I expect to be on here again tomorrow as well.  Take care xx

oh, ailsa, hun, you are not alone. I haven't posted much as i have nothing to say which could be remotely interesting to anyone!!

It would be good to remove May from this month's calendar. like you, I'm reliving last year vivdly - and this is the woman who goes upstairs for something and immediatley  forgets what it was. I always used to say that Alan had a selective memory - oh that it could be true of myself!

Lots of penguin hugs to you and everyone else

sue xx