My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Hello everyone,

I will try and type this quick before I forget what you all said again!!  Lynne, glad your Dad had a strop at them and got out how he was feeling - hopefully he is feeling a bit better today.  It must be so hard for him at his age to keep going through all this.  Ailsa, glad you feel that you benefited from the Cruse session and I will keep my fingers crossed that it works for you.  I was thinking about counselling the other day as my head is pretty messed up at the moment with loads of things but as long as I have you all I hope I will be okay.  Helen - lucky you - very jealous of those long lies!!  Fiona, hugs to you and good luck to Darren.  Patricia - hope you are feeling a bit better now?  You know me and antibiotics - they just make me feel worse!  Teri - sending you bug higs and remember we are all here whenever you need a rant or just to put down how you are feeling.  Be gentle on yourself - it is very early days.  Have you spoken to your GP about your panic attacks?

Rosemary, it is a small world - wouldn't it be funny if they met out there and thanks for the advice and offer to help.  I will just take it slow and see what happens.  I just have so many questions about mine and the boys futures like we all do - think I need a crystal ball as patience isn't my strong point and I want to know what I will be doing and when I will finally be happy and settled with the kids.  I am still renting at the moment and my dad has been nagging me about buying a house but I just don't feel I could at the moment as I don't know what I want to do or be this week let alone commit to buying a house somewhere.

I am doing a little bit better today although not got much planned for the weekend which is never good!  I think I will get stuck into my work and that will maybe relieve some of the pressure and stress I am under at the moment. 

Anyway, I am rambling and nearly forgot one of the reasons I was posting!  We need to get the tickets booked up for John Edward so can we confirm final numbers and then I can message you on FB once I get the tickets.  I have Fiona, Judi (where are you mrs???), Lynne, Me, Ailsa & Teri.  Spoke to Lynne and are we all happy with Glasgow on 12th Sept or would you rather Edinburgh on 9th?  Let me know as soon as you can and I will get them booked up tonight/tomorrow.

Hope everyone's Fridays are going okay.

Gayle xx

Change of plan - Lynne can't get the holidays for the Glasgow show - is everyone ok for Edinburgh on the 9th as we can't have Lynne missing it :-) xx

Sorry I have plans can't make the 9th I will go to Glasgow with my daughter or someone else.

Love Teri

This is a quick reply to Gayle's recent message - I will taxt as well.  I am babysitting for Declan on the 7th, 8th & 9th September so can't get to Edinburgh in time.  Looks like I will have to give it a miss if it is the 9th.  Pity because I was going to make a trip of it and visit some family as well.  Ailsa xxx

HI all , as i've said to Gayle if everybody can only do sunday the 12th i will drop out , i dont want to spoil evetybody elses plans . I'm off to watch my grand daugter in her dancing show tonight so dont have much time , will be back later xxxxx

Hi everyone.

Sue - you have NO idea how I love that picture.  Thank Crunchie it's Friday indeed!  Hope you are hanging on in there hun.

Bren, so sorry that you are in 'better for a while and then another bug comes along to floor you' cycle.  It will be your body is just SO exhausted hun, as the others have said - just try and be kind to yourself.  Gayle hun, I know there is absolutely no point in me trying to bully you but ..... SLOW DOWN .... you have to find a way hun to let you boss know that if you keep going at this rate he will find you hiding under the duvet refusing to get up!!  Don't stress about buying a house, you will know when the time is right hun ........ or even if it is not, and you end up buying one and then it isn't right .... it's only a house ... you can change it again.  Teri, such bitter sweet  moments for you just now hun - he is SO gorgeous (Fiona and Lesley can tell you marvellous and uplifting they can be!) but at the same time so many "if onlys".  Massive squishy hugs winging their way to you.  Fiona - am sending you some special penguin love for Monday. 

Patricia - I don't know if you will be able or have time over the next few days to log on, but we are all cheering you on, and if you bark like a seal during your speech well ....... so be it, it will still be a wonderful speech I am sure.

Lynne - NOW I know where his daughter gets her strength from .... Way To Go Dad.  No, really I am so glad that he let rip - although I know it won't have made his mouth any better I bet it made his heart and head feel good to say his piece.  ((((((   )))))))

Rosemary, so glad that you and Sam had a good, if long, day in London - and delighted that Sam felt happier with the buses.  I like the sound of the Chinese ladies who can make something for a fraction of the cost - send them up to me when you are done with them would you!!  I may have to go shopping this weekend for a couple of bits for work.  I thought that the wardrobe was stuffed with suitable stuff, however when I realised that much of it I have had since Boy was in primary school - maybe I should go mad and splash out!  Although ......... I am sure some of them will come back into fashion at some point!

Slightly odd week at work - one of my two new lovely, funny, helpful bosses ............ has got a new job and leaves in four weeks .... arrrggghhhh.  How very, very dare she!!  But even worse than that .... she is going to work for my old boss - the blind professor, how bizarre is that!!!  It is a new post that I helped write the job spec for - damn cheek!!  She will be wonderful at it and I know she will love working with him.  He told her that as the firm I an now with had 'stolen' one of his best team members (aaahhhhhhh, sweet of him) then he was perfectly happy to steal one back!!As a consequence there have been some hilarious emails going back and forth between us all, culminating in me telling him he should be afraid, very afraid.  And if he thinks that he has got the final laugh he should just wait until I next babysit for him and take his eight year old son to get a tattoo and piercings!! That shut him up!

I think I can do either Glasgow or Edinburgh - however, although not as good as all meeting, to make sure any who want to see John Edwards can, how about I come to Edinburgh with you Ailsa and Teri and then Lynne can meet everyone else in Glasgow.  Just a thought.

Gayle - which offices have you decided on up here?

Manda hun, where are you, are you ok?  I know that things havent' been just as smooth as you would like at the minute .... apart from Hayley being her usual wonderful self!!  And Lesley, you are very quiet ...... you haven't chained yourself to the kitchen just cos you were on a roll have you?

Dottee - hope the arm and ribs are getting a little easier and that you are less multi-coloured with bruises.  Love to you and your Action Man.  Quill, hope Charlotte and you are both doing ok.  Dave - I have no idea if there is football this weekend or not, personally after the behaviour of some of the managers this week (yes I am totally up on what happens) I think they should all be sitting on the naughty step this weekend and the ref should go home and take his ball with him! teehee - hope Freddie and George are keeping you busy.

Helen, I am not speaking to you cos you are being VERY, VERY lazy, I know!!  Another two weeks off.  So far that makes a total of three and half days you have worked this year madam!  More news about the prom dress please.   Is it ner enough to Easter for me to go and buy myself a chocolate egg or two ....

or three!

Loads of love to everyone here - I will be back tomorrow to find out how everyone is and what they are up to.  I am so sorry if I have missed anyone out, I can just feel in my bones I have but can't go back and check!  Judi xxxxxx

Sue - how scary is that - I actually think I might look a bit like that!!  I hope everyone is having a decent start to the weekend.  Lynne enjoy your grandaughter's dancing.  I have had a few hours with an old friend of Chris's today.  It was really nice.  Chris and I hadn't seen her for at least 20 years and then she recognised Stu in a garage last summer.  I have met with her once before a few months ago.  We had a nice time remembering old times today.  I'm going out for a few hours for a drink and a dance for a friends birthday tomorrow evening and I have an invite to my neighbours for tea on Sunday again so I have managed to get a few plans together to keep me busy.  Take care everyone.  Ailsa xxx

Rosemary if Teri is up for the Edinburgh John Edwards on the 12th that would be great.  I still want to make a longer visit of it anyway as I have family in Glasgow I haven't seen for a while.  It would be nice to take a bit longer off and trip around the relatives.  Ailsa xxx

Oops, I think I got those dates totally wrong and had everyone going to the wrong place and the wrong day!!  Take no notice of me - someone just tell me where I have to be and when - that will be safest !! teehee Judes xx