My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Evening all, feeling much better tonight and thank you all for being here as ever and for sharing my big, squishy bed (I've bought a huger duvet now Judi so more to share - and I LOVED the jim-jams!).  Daniel has been in text for most of the day (made a change) and we've spoken too, last heard of he had eaten supernoodles for lunch and a bacon butty for tea and was very happy! Phew, the relief of it all, now I can just concentrate on the problems here and wait for him to get home - a week on Friday!

Lynne, why are they making you pick up the food?? Is it the liquid stuff for the feeding PEG?  I can't remember the name at the moment but I'm wracking my brain, when Sam came home with hers in we had it delivered from this place and they supplied a month at a time so we would always have some in stock.  Ask your nutritionist if they can do the same for you up there, surely they can.  I will keep thinking of the name and if she doesn't come up with it then you could phone and ask them what the channels are to get the service.  I know it was a bit different to the stuff she had in hospital and it came with the feeding pump as well and a nurse sort of person came and instructed me how to use it - all part of the service package.  Anyway hope he is feeling a bit better and you too, it's such a worry having to sort all these things out (and you shouldn't have to).

Patricia, big hugs to you, hope you are now snuggled safely in the middle of the huddle, please call, text or anything (even turn up on the doorstep) if you need to.  I know sometimes I would like a bit of peace and quiet but I know how lucky I am to still have Sam at home with me, so just remember we are all there with you.  I know sometimes it's a real human hug you want though.

Bren, where are you in Canada?  We have family in Thunder Bay, I haven't been there but did visit Montreal and Quebec many years ago - a beautiful area and I would love to go again.  Glad you got home safely and I hope the concert goes well for your niece.  Don't worry about not posting too much, just read and know we are here when you want to say something.

Lesley, Judi, Sue, Dot, Dave and John (where are you?) lots of love and hugs all round, thank you all again for your support and concern xxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi, all

Rosemary, i am soooo glad that daniel is improving; noodles and a bacon buttie would suggest that he is on the mend. Only another 10 days of worry before you get him back!

lynne, what a palaver, hun. i hope dad improves; you've been through enough.

I am just so tired tonight - helen, how on earth do you muster up the energy to go to the gym after work? It takes me all my time to get home without falling asleep, and I only live a mile from school.I should be going to my pub quiz tonight, but I've just cancelled - what a wimp!

Love to all from a very tired penguin

Sue xx

Aw, Sue, love that pic!  Best yet

Rosemary, supernoodles means he must be on the mend!

John is still about and seems to be doing OK for such early days. Not sure if he reads all the posts but I will tell him you were asking after him.

Helen, I am taking a leaf out of your book and going to gym tomorrow after work. The only place I am heading tonight is bed, I am so cold, electric blanket here I come!

After almost 5 months I have finally worked out how to post photos on here, my FB friends will have already seen them now though.

xx

Meant to say does anyone know when Manda gets back?

Sue, I struggled getting there tonight as I was really tired and we had an hours staff meeting but I really wanted to go.

Lesley good luck when you go, it has really helped me get through the last few months and I ve lost some weight in the bargain!!!

I ve had upset from my 2 the last few days. Nat was up at 1am on Sunday with `flutterings` in her chest. Bit of panic I think. Liam was up at 2am last night very upset. We had a chat and he seems better today, I just need some sleep tonight lol xx

Glad Daniel is on the mend Rosemary, must be hard when he is so far away x

Lynne nothing is ever simple is it?

Ailsa hope you re having and managing your quiet night.

I cant remember what everyone else has said now so will send bug higs to everyone

Helen xxxx

Hi All . Rosemary i ask my self every time i have to go running about the hospital , fetching food , tubes srynges or anything else that dad needs . When he first came out of the hospital they gave him enough food for a couple of weeks as they thought that was all he'd need , but then its gone on and on and to tell you the truth they have taken advantage , they just tell dad when he goes to his appointments (usually with other sis) to send ME to pick up what he needs . I ask if they can put things on a prescription and they just say , oh he wont need it much longer we'll just get the stuff for him . They know i work from there and i dont mind fetching him stuff but i do get fed up to as we are still so busy so i usually go when we have our half hour break . Hopefully he wont be on his feed much longer but the way things are going i just dont know . He;s back tommorow (2 weeks early) as he isn;t happy with the way things are going . I cant think what its called Rosemary , i know it comes in bags with 1200 calories in each one . He has a tube in his nose which goes into his stomach . He does manage it quite well really but i wish he could eat and drink a little more so he doesn't need it .. So glad Dan is feeling better .. Wow i think i need the cuddle blanket after that post .. can we have some light hearted ones please .. I know Amanda gets back this week but not sure when sorry . Judi when are you meeting Gayle , is it this week ?  ... xxxxxxxx

Hi all

Well the lady that is replacing me came in today for a handover - my god was she efficient, everytime I opened my mouth she started to take notes ...... as you can imagine she had a fair few pages by the end ...... none of which are probalby going to be any use, we all know how random my thoughts can be!! lol.  So just three more days in this job, well two really as on Friday we are just all going for lunch so I don't think I can count that.

Lynne - it does sound as if they are making their lives as easy as possible to me.  I really hope that Dad starts to improve and is able to eat and drink more.  Hugs and more hugs. 

Rosemary, a bacon butty is real comfort food!  When the texts lessen then you can relax a little.  I am VERY glad that I now have a name on your mobile ....... I don't think I'll ask what you call me!  I am so glad you liked my PJs, and even more glad that you have got a bigger duvet (my God that woman can hog the covers girls!!) Thought I might provide face packs and a movie for this evening - what do you think?  Suggestions for what film please ........

Helen, sorry that the 'babies' are having a hard couple of days, hope you all get some sleep tonight.  How did the Charity Evening meeting go?

Lesely hun, sorry that you had a cr*p day at work, I know what you mean about making decisions, I didn't make hardly any at all for over a year, now I am finding that I seem to 'know' when I should be thinking of changing something and am more confident about doing it.  Going to the gym - tell me exactly how near to Helen do you live? I have a feeling she is sending out fitness vibes ...... I think I am safely out of reach for now, unless her powers are really strong!

Funny you should ask about Gayle, it is Thursday she is driving up so I am just about to send her a text ...... all in CAPITAL LETTERS so she can hear me!  We are hoping to meet for an hour for a coffee before she goes and wows all her clients. 

SD's (the one that lives here) house went on the market yesterday ..... three viewings today and another four booked for tomorrow!!  I saw the photos on the schedule and burst out laughing as it is quite a big house and I have never seen it without the most incredible amount of toys/stuff/ironing/boxes etc everywhere .......... not a single thing to be seen in the photos - all very  minimal.  I asked if there had been a small army of pixies carying all their belongings from room to room so the photographer could get the shots.  Apparently they have piled EVERYTHING into the spare bedroom, you can hardly open the door, I bet they are hoping it sells soon.  She is 20 weeks pregnant and has a 15 month and a 2 yr 10 month old.  The idea of coping with that makes me tired!

Ailsa, just cos I said you had to be lazy I hope you didn't think I meant you weren't allowed to post.  Patricia, thinking about you hun, hope that you have your sisters round you this week.  You know we are all wrapping you up with love don't you. 

Loads of love to all, speak soon - off to find Gayle.    Judi xxx

Wow Judi how do you do it?? You always seem to remember what everyone has said and how they are all feeling

It looks as though my weekend has been taken over by other people. Jennifer and I were meant to be going clothes shopping on Saturday. Now it looks as though future daughter in law is coming too as the 'boys' are taking over the house and she needs somewhere else to go. Apparently I shall have her all day Sunday too. I don't really mind but would have liked to be alone at some point to lick my wounds and feel sorry for myself. They are all going to be around on Monday too and trying to organise me. What that really means is that I will have to cook for everyone. I know he was their dad, but I would like to be on my own (not overrun with people) on Monday. How selfish does that sound?? I suppose I should be thankful that they care enough to want to get together.

Sorry you are feeling 'down' Lesley. I know it is not easy. Animals are very intuitive you know so maybe that is why Catface is staying so close to you.

Lynne, it is all well and good the nutritionist saying that you can pick up the feed but you need a break too. If it is going to be going on for a while they need to put a delivery system in place. Oops, sorry. There I go again being bossy.

Take care all x x  Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

Evening everyone.  Sorry I didn't post earlier but I was making the most of my evening at home.  I know I said 'relax' but I also said I need to do my own kind of relaxing!  Working on the principle that if I remove some of the tasks that are stressing me because they haven't been done I have done the most urgent this evening.  I have, however, also watched an hour of TV.  I definately feel a lot less stressed on my way to bed tonight than I have in a while.

Patricia it is not selfish of you to want a little time on your own this coming weekend at all.  I know exactly what you mean and  small amount of time on my own is what I have been missing in the past few weeks.  However, just like you, I am glad the family care enough to want to be there and include me so I never turn them away.  It is a real shame you will have to cook for everyone though.  Please make sure you stay firmly in the centre of our huddle so that you get the hugs to get you through ((((hugs)))).

Lesley, Manda & H are on their way home so we should be hearing from them very soon.  I'm sorry you have had a bad day

Bren, well done doing the driving in the bad weather.  Your photos on FB are lovely.  I really like that we can put faces to names now.  Good luck to your niece with her concert although I am sure she won't need any luck.

Helen I hope Nat & Liam are feeling a bit more settled now.  It is such a shame when our children are suffering or are sad.  I know the fluttering feeling and it is very disconcerting.  Sounds like your charity event meeting went well yesterday - good luck with the ticket sales.

Sue that was another great picture.  I will just have to try harder to proof read my post before I hit the send button as more doesn't work.  I made it work once and got really excited, than couldn't do it again.

Rosemary it is great to hear that Dan is eating now.

Lynne you are sounding very worn out.  I hope everything goes well for your Dad when he sees the consultant.  You really shouldn't have to do all the trapsing around that you do.

Well I think it is pumpkin time for me.  Hope everyone has a decent night.  Ailsa xxx

Just wanted to add thanks for checking on me as well Gayle.  I really didn't want to let the evening go by without posting so you do right to give me a gentle nudge.  Take care.  Ailsa xxx