My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Morning everyone

Rosemary Judi`s advice as always is fantastic. We know where to come for help don`t we?

Sorry a few of you had bad nights sleep, I was so tired I didnt wake once. Sorry not rubbing it in, I had a few disturbed nights over the weekend then my busy day so have finally caught up.

Judi yes I was singing along(hope the neighbours didnt find it too painful lol), thanks for the angels sing along request. Patricia I know roughly where you are now x

Maybe that was a message Lynne, think we ve got to believe it x

Lesley have a good day, sounds like you re having a good half term.

Manda s holiday sounds great.

Not sure what I m doing today, there is talk of going to the pics with daughter but it depends on her plans first!!

Have a good day everyone

Helen xxx

Thank you all my lovely, lovely penguins!  I agree with everything you all say and know that I am probably worrying overmuch and that we can't give up this chance as it's the things you don't do that you regret I always think - also there's nothing else coming up for her at the moment.  SO..... she's going to commute, it will be hard but she is happier with that idea and, as she says, she can get home, eat dinner and fall into bed.  Hopefully she will get along with some others on the course and they could perhaps rent a place together, but we won't rely on that idea.  Judi I would love to find someone of that sort that Sam could lodge with,  I just don't know where to start looking as there are sites (houseshare.com) but it feels a bit random and could really be anyone advertising and still an unknown situation.  She will be in London rather than in the usual college and university areas for finding accommodation, New Oxford Street - never knew we had one, only thought there was Oxford Street in London but apparently it is near Tottenham Court Road.  Anyway she is on the computer and the phone now and booking her place (nothing like striking whilst the iron is hot) and has my debit card for the deposit - ouch! 

I shall return later with my notebook to reply to you all as you appear to have been up to lots and chatting megaly, love you all and really pleased I have such lovely friends. xxxxxxxx

Hi all

Lynne, I have had dreams of Colin but only one were he was ill. Others are more mundane, just everyday stuff. I actually had a dream about him last night but too private to tell   ;-)))))  it was very nice though!  I must have had it in the few minutes that I managed to sleep. Thankfully I have not had any dreams about him being dead, although maybe they do have a message, who knows?

Helen, yes I am having a reasonably calm half term, I think it is because I have kept myself busy.

Rosemary, I am glad that you and Samantha have come to a decision. I'm sure she will soon make some friends and who knows were that will lead?

I have been out for a breakfast date with some workmates today, it was very nice. Did a little shoppin, of course! Then went to have a cuddle with my little man.

Tomorrow they are all staying over at mine, I am really looking forward to it.

I even managed to find time to send some snow over to Lynne, was she grateful??? .............

Not heard from Dave in a while, hope he is doing OK and keeping busy.

Patricia, did you hear from Yvonne? Like you I wonder how she is getting along, I think she was my first contact on here.

Well I am off to write in my jounal to my lovely Colin, speak later maybe.

Hugs Lesley xx

Evening all , Lesley i wish i had more dreams about Gordon , the only one was a few days after he'd been buried and nothing since , its strange as he's my last thought at night and my first thought in the morning so i cant work out why i haven't had dreams . Oh well maybe one day ... Glad you got out and about today and THANK YOU FOR THE SNOW lol .. It didn't last long thank goodness ... Helen , hope you've enjoyed yoyr lazy day again , roll on 3 weeks when i am off work but i have already got lists in my head as to what i want to do lol ....

 Rosemary has just text`me and said she is not on line tonight as she has a bad back and is plugged into the tens machine . I've got to give you all a big wave    WAVE ... and say thank you penguins .....

 I,ve had a so so day , i made my boss cry (nothing new ) i sent her a birthday card and i signed my name and then put a kiss form Gordon , she opened the card and burst into tears , which set me off , which set everybody else off who was within 10 yards of us , but we all ended up laughing , so it was all ok ...

Hope everybody is ok .. whats everybody up too ?  

 Take care ..

 Lynne xxx

Lesley, i have not seen anything of Yvonne for quite some time. I hope that she is ok.

Rosemary, I hope things work out for Sam. I am sure she will be fine but if not then at least she tried.

I have never dreamt of Ray at all since he died or in the time preceeding his death. I rarely sleep so maybe that is the cause, or maybe I have just shut him out ( subconsciously) from my resting brain. I think about him constantly during my waking hours though.

My thoughts are with you all. I hope you all manage to dream of your loved ones.

Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

Hi Patricia , maybe we're not having the right kind of sleep , i dont dream a lot now , i used too . xxx

Aww bless you Lynne, I can't remember the last time I actualy slept all nightr without waking many many times. Oh well, mustn't complain. Other people have worse things to deal with.

Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

Evening Lynne and everybody else of course xxx

Its good to have a cry especially followed so closely by a laugh lol x

I ve had a really lazy day, got few jobs done but not much get up and go although I did a bit of my hula hoop dvd. Tonight I m watching Mama Mia, bit of feel good!!

Hope Rosemary feels better soon and glad she s made a decision.

Talking about texting I ll have to get some of your numbers too before our gtg, think I missed the post when you all swapped numbers.

Helen xxx

Hi, my friends

Napoleon and i have just returned from Cornwall, where we had some sunshine!!!! oh, and some rain, and it was freezing cold. never mind - we saw the sea, sat at the top of Portreath beach and watched the waves crashing against the sea wall. Memories!!

My mother is doing very well, but is frail and exceedingly forgetful. ~i managed to sort out her solicitor's business, take her to visit my dad's and grandparent's graves,  and  take her to the doctor for her last lot of test results which were all pretty good. she's been told that she mustn't eat so many ferrero rocher chocolates - she has diabetes, but won't listen to advice. She is rarely to be found without a sweet or chocolate within easy reach. We've tried the diabetic stuff but it just wouldn't do! GIVE ME STRENGTH!!

My sister and niece are coming tomorrow to stay for a few days, which should be good. Alice is in pantomime all this week and is loving it.

You've all had a touch of verbal diarrhoea these last few days - can't keep up with it!   Rosemary, I wish your lovely daughter all the luck in the world - commuting sounds good to me. alice originally went off to uni in plymouth and lasted a week; she came back home, got straight onto a course at the local uni and has never looked back. Considering the events of the last year, i am so glad that she came home - she was here all through alan's illness and chemo treatment and was with me in the hospital, holding his hands when he died. i'm not a great believer in fate, but in this instance i wonder.

helen - why is it that half term week goes so much more quickly than any other week? (Note to self - stop moaning.)

Lynne, my lovely, you are working far too hard - CHILL   (Napoleon wrote that bit)

i need to shift my rear end and do something towards my visitors arriving tomorrow. The house is a tip!

sue xx

Sue how lovely to see you. I hope that you are feeling a little more at peace with the world at the moment. I hopeyour mum is ok x x

Helen, you put me to shame, tidying the house AND using the hula hoop wow.

Love and angel hugs x x x patricia x x x