Time

Hi Mya welcome to the forum..I think until people walk in Your shoes they have no idea what it feels like to lose a beloved husband life partner etc. You grieve how you want to for as long as you need to and do it at your pace not as others tell you to do. And what's more that is OK. Much love Gail xxx

Hi,

 This is your path, you do what is best for you. 3 months is still early. Just remember to look after yourself. 

Still early days for you. I am two years in and feel I have started to move forward be ever so slightly but that's not to say it will take you two years we all go through this at our own pace. I still can't comprehend that he is gone some days and then I remember he is. Yes we all want our old lives back but its not unfortunately going to happen anytime soon and yes I get that that you don't know where to go or turn but as you say in time it just might happen. Just keep coming here when you feel the need to as we all `get it`. Take care of yourself and best wishes to you moving forwards. 

Vicky x

I just decided to go with it, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. You get to decide. There is no time scale, there is no time to move on, there is only now, the present. They are all trying to be supportive, but grief doesn’t work that way. They don’t understand. I am nearly a year in, and still have times when it is all so overwhelming. Equally, there are now times when I feel some quality of life. Everyone is different, you get to choose. Sending hugs, Kate. 

Once again, it’s after 2am and still can’t settle. 
I think one of the reasons is because I’m still struggling, after 9 months, to try and sleep facing the other way. 
Let alone him not being in bed next to me.  
The kisses goodnight, always 3. 
“Night night. Mind the bed bugs don’t bite”.
The weight of him.  
The snoring.

My beautiful Valen and I slept facing each other, with him lightly holding my arm with 2 fingers. 
Now I can’t face the normal way because he’s not there. 
So I face the other way but it still feels wrong. 
But if I turn the right way I just cry. 
I tried sleeping on the sofa which did work in short bursts but not that comfy. 
Because of the configuration I can’t turn the bed round and the spare room is set up as my study. 
I guess as time goes on it will become more of a habit to sleep the wrong way and it will become the right way. 
Like lots of things will. 
Eventually. 

Night Night. Mind the bed bugs dont bite xx

Oh MrsVT!

When Jay passed I used to think to myself `well, the bed's all mine now`. But sometimes as you say it can be hard just to comprehend they are not there anymore beside you. I am a bit of a snorer unfortunately and i think I may have posted here already about it. Jay was forever telling me to `shut up` it seems and even threatened to record me on several ocassions but never happened. On a few ocassions he actually had to get out of bed then the next morning he would say to me `Oh you were really bad last night` And then at times I would just be nodding off and he would say something really silly and that would set me off laughing to the extent I couldn't stop heaven knows what our neighbours through the wall and below us thought we were getting up to I would then stop laughing for a minute to catch my breath and he would be lying there saying something like `she's thinking, she's thinking come on` as if I am thinking of something to respond with which only made it worse and then I would be away again tears streaming down my face from laughing so hard. He always made me laugh that was one of his good traits. Just made a stupid face at you or said something off the cuff and you would be off. Not laughed that hard as I did with him in a long long time and I miss that. We were like chalk n cheese sometimes but suited each other. 

xx

Guilty too I snore apparently but would not know now as he’s not here to moan at me in the morning! I tend to spend a little too much time in bed still at the moment but I never go over his side apart from a random knees occasionally he would say to me get over your side will you !!! When I was cuddling up too much! just thinking of going to bed now as I’m just skipping about my iPad although I’ve read the news about 10 times still don’t fancy tv or the radio yet just sat in front of the fan in the lounge wishing I had someone to talk to.  I did get a walk in earlier went around the other way for a change and that still upset me. People out in the sunshine having fun. Me feeling jealous of the people together thinking how crap my life is without my husband.
What is wrong with me I’m not normally a bitter person. 
My food box arrived earlier though hello fresh and I cooked something that wasn’t needing the microwave for a change and actually enjoyed it. Saved me going out shopping that was probably the best bit! 

Tomorrow would have been Andrew's birthday. Usually it was  lots of messages between my son and I wondering what on earth to get him.this year there is no wondering, it is a bouquet of flowers. Yellow roses and sea holly.( His favourites). Oh how nice it would be to have no idea.

That was me too Toosoon. I like to `sprawl` in bed arms and legs everywhere and I have that advantage now with it just being me. Jay too I remember was always telling me to `get over a bit` I'd `coorie` in to him (cuddle) and the it would `get over a bit would you`. He always had to have the window open as well even in a force 10 gale and in the freezing winter and I would get up and close it. He was quite weird that way in he liked the cold his ideal holiday he said would be a cruise to the Fjords or the Arctic. Each to their own I suppose though. Never did get that cruise. 

xx