My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Just replied to the PM but had missed that you also have a "mourning" / dumb cat. I have two of them. On the night that Sharon passed (still only 3 weeks but it seems longer) Sharons sister, brother and best friend were down from London and we were having our 20th pot of tea when one of ours dropped a live mouse in the middle of us. It created a stir but it was his final little "gift" to Sharon - they are more intelligent than most people give them credit for !!!!!!!

Morning All, Welcome John sorry to hear about your wife,keep posting on here as it has been a great help to me. Just to let you all know our meet with the psychic, was amazing i didn't know what i would think about it, but my mum came through and Derek, and what she said was just so true. We were in for 45 mins each we both got really upset, Kim went first then me. Hope eveyone else is doing ok and i will catch up later as just going to work now. Derek was on about me going somewhere soon to meet new company and he was happy that i was going, it could only be our meet, as i have nothing else planned. Hugs to you all Fiona xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Aw, Fiona I'm so glad that you got some comfort from the psychic, hmm, it's just taken me three attempts to spell that word, then had to sneak a look at yours!!

John, my cat is not in mourning, it is just a special needs cat, lol. No seriously, he is only a kitten, just over 4 months old. We had a very old cat of 17, he died in July and we said we would not have another as we were going to wait until we retired and get a small dog. However, now I am on my own, the house felt very empty and I gave in and got Charlie more often known as Catface! He has been staying in the kitchen whilst I am out at work but is getting bored now he is bigger, so I bought him a rabbit hutch. My stepfather took a door off, it has everything a cat would need, 2 floors, furry bed, food etc but no, he would rather sit under a bush.

Rosemary, I am glad I am not the only one with an SEN animal!

Well the snow has gone and the sun has come out, so I really should get off this laptop and do something constructive!

Did you all see Manda's FB, I'm green with jealousy!

Hugs to all xx

John, welcome to he thread. So sorry you find yourself here but hope it is some comfort and help to you. Everyone on here is quite mad (except me of course). They will keep you on your toes whilst I shall be the voice of reason. lol Iif you believe that then you'll believe anything).

Judi the birthday celebrationbs sound amazing.

Fiona, glad you found the psychic helpful. How amazing.

Ailsa how is the breathng today. Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out.............. nice and slow.

Lesley have you tried putting something with the cat's scent on it into the designer house??

Lynne, Gayle, Dave, Sue, Manda anyone I may have missed, I hope you are doing ok.

Today I have been with my mother in law who has been greatly distressed by the unfortunate letters she keeps getting from the local government offices and the housing people. First she is getting benefit then she isn't. Then she has to pay rent and next thing they are giving her a refund. The latest thing they gave her a rent rebate and now tell her she is in arrears. She was in tears and had a funny turn (I thought she was going to have another heart attack with all the distress she has been subjected to.  She has only 50% heart capacity as it is). I swear that if anything happens to her I shall be on them like a ton of bricks. We are now waiting for an official to come to the house whilst I am there to try to get it sorted out. Grrrr.....

Sorry for the rant.

Take care all. Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

Evening all and what a lovely day it has been , as the weather gets nicer my mood seems to be lifting but i am scared that its the calm before the storm , i still cry all the time but it passes quickly and i just get on with things . I really hope i can stay on top of things . Judi , you never cease to amaze me , what a fab mum you are , and i'm sure bou knows how lucky he is to have you . I hope the rest of his celebrations go as well , and good luck with the meeting with Gayle on friday. Thanks Gayle for saying our meeting has has a positive affect on you , maybe thats why i've been so up beat just lately . Roll on march , how many sleeps Ailsa ? . I think Lesley could be right , are they panic attacks ? i had a few after i lost Gordon , even had one a couple of weeks ago and i can say they are very frightening , have you been checked over ? . Lesley , sorry you had snow today , it was positivily spring like today for a while but it soon cooled off again lol . Hope you enjoy your breakfast tommorow . Didn't Amanda's description of the holiday sound fab , i vote our next meet is in Florida .... Fiona , i cant wait to hear all about your meeting with the physic , i enjoyed my meeting with one a few weeks ago  and i am thinking of going back again soon .Esme , your tales of the dave cat always keep me amused , please keep them coming , any more chaptors of your book yet , i ready for more , i love it .. Patricia , where we're you this morning , i thought your we're coming to sing along with me .. Hi John and welcome , please keep posting , we'are a friendly lot , you'll have to meet Dave too . Hope Sue is doing ok at her mothers .. Helen , i'm sure your making the most of your holiday , did you enjoy your night away ?   phew thats used all my brain cells up now . I'll be back later xxxxxxxx

Hi Patricia , we must have crossed posts . Sorry about you MIL and i hope you manage to get it all sorted out , its a pain in the neck all this form filling in xxxxx

Forgive me for not doing personals at the moment but my head is full of the latest problem and just wanted to ask you all for help, if there is any help to be had, with a solution or at the least opinions. I don't know if I am just being overprotective or am right to be worrying.

Basically Sam doesn't think she is going to get a placement with the police for a long time, if ever so has been looking at doing a hairdressing apprenticeship, Toni and Guy were advertising for a junior and she went in with her CV. It turns out that as she is now 23 and over the government fundng age no one will take her on as they then have to pay her more than they would a school leaver on minimum wage, even though she has said she would pay for her own training.
We looked into doing a course privately and Sam found the Toni and Guy academy in London it costs stack loads of money, but would be worth it as the qualification would be recognised and thought highly of wherever she went for a job (if there are any jobs of course). The main problem is that the couse is 9 - 5 Monday to Friday and that would mean if she commuted then 7 am to 7 pm and I don't know if she could manage that, or finding somewhere to stay up in London (only a little more than the cost of commuting would you believe), but she has never lived on her own and would be in a totally different environment, completely on her own and I wouldn't be able to reach her easily if needed and I think she would be lonely doing that from May through to mid December. She is feeling gutted at the moment that I'm not just saying go ahead and do it, she thinks she could cope with living up there and it would be fine she would study in the evening and then go to bed. I just don't know what to do or say, I don't want to block yet another chance for her but this just doesn't seem right.
Help, all advice listened to  thank you xxxx

Will try and get back later for personals, but hugs to you all (and your m-i-law Patricia) and a special hug for our newbie John, sorry you have to join us but welcome. xxxxx

Evening everyone...I m back!!!

I saw all weathers as I was driving home up the motorway!! Sunshine, rain, dark, dark skies and also icy snow!! I had a lovely night, had a great meal and a few drinks with friends. Shattered tonight though but cant have an early night as The Brits are on and Robbie is singing!!! Cant miss the Robster now can I?

Judi your surprises sound fantastic, sure the `Boy` had a great 21st. Well done you xxx

Lynne glad you re feeling more upbeat, the weather and light nights make such a difference. I was thinking the other day how we were all dreading the dark winter nights and hey!! we nearly thorugh them and can look forward to spring and summer again!! Well done to us all!!!

John welcome, like everyone says you are very welcome just sorry you need to be here but we this thread helps us all so much xxx

Ailsa it does sound a little bit like panic attacks, I havent had them since Paul died but did get very strange/alarming flutterings in my chest when Paul was ill. They got put down to panic attacks. Once I knew what they were it wasnt so alarming.

Patricia hope you get things sorted for your M in law, she shouldnt have to worry about things like that should she?

Anyway hope you ve all had your pancakes, we are full here and enjoyed them.

Hope everyone else I havent mentioned is ok too

Love to all Helen xxx

OMG, Lynne, did you pause for breath whilst typing that? I thought I could talk!!

Patricia, you know we are ALL quite mad on here, we all have a good excuse though! I have not tried that with Catface, will give it a go though, he hasn't been out today because of the snow. 

Judi and Gayle, make sure you post some pics on FB of your meet, I wish I could come too.  Where are you meeting?

I'm looking forward to meeting some work mates tomorrow for a full english, it will be nice to have breakfast cooked for me. Then off for a look round the shops, you know me and shopping, lol! Number one favourite pastime!

I have Rachel, Dave and baby Dan staying over on Thursday, I can't wait I love them being here. They are going to have a nice sleep and I will do the night feeds, who would ever have though I would actually look forward to night time feeds!

Friday I am out for lunch with my mum, so all in all a busy half term. I must admit though I've been very lazy today! Still managed to spend some money though, went to B&Q for some light bulbs and came away with some new curtains. You should have seen me trying to put them up with my cast on, it's a wonder I didn't go through the window but like most women, they had to go up straight away, no time to wait for help!

xxxxLesleyxxxx

Hi Helen and Rosmary, posts must have crossed! Glad you had a lovely time Helen, stop with your pancakes though, I could just eat some!

Rosemary, I can see your dilema. It is so hard without our other halves isn't it? I am sure this would be something you would be talking through right now with your hubbie. I'm sorry I don't have any wise words for you. I am sure if she went she would make some friends on her course and so would not be alone but only you knows your daughter. I know I would be feeling just like you if it were my daughter as she is not so outgoing and I would worry so much. I hope you find the right words to say to her from somewhere. You should both take some time to think things over anyway, it's a big decision.  xx