My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Manda - a cold for your hols??  That sort of thing happens to me!!!!  But  hope you enjoy your break and the weather is better than forecast for here............seems we can expect more snow.................Oh joy!!!!!!

Love and ((((hugs)))) Dot xxxxxxxx

Hi everyone.  Best news - only 27 sleeps until our meet!  I can't wait.  Lynne it is lovely that you had all the family round for food today.  Stu is working,  Becky is in Abu Dhabi and Toni was celebrating Valentines day with her boyfirend so I haven't see anything of my 3.  However I pinched my grandson from his dad this afternoon and he is sleeping over tonight.  I will drop him off back with his dad on my way to work tomorrow.  He had been testing a new wii game for me and we have watched race to witch mountain together.  I have fed him & spoiled him and he has made me laugh.  Best tonic ever.  I will step back on the roller coaster tomorrow but for now I will enjoy Declan.

Fiona I hope you sleep better tonight.

Sounds like you have had a lovely time with your friends Judi - they are so thoughtful.

Rosemary I can just imagine a young lady like Samantha telling the doctors how it was going to be with her tube.  Good on her.  That it the kind of thing that makes for better recovery.

Sorry to hear you & H have colds Manda but don't let it spoil your holiday.  I will google Buxton tomorrow.  It would be nice to have some more meets to look forward to.  Well I should get off to bed if I have Declan & I to see to in the morning.  Take care everyone.  Ailsa xx

Hello all

Wonder if Manda is at the airport yet?

I've had a really busy weekend, have not done any of the things I was supposed to do, Asda, ironing, gardening etc but have had a lovely time!

I'm off into Manchester soon, have a date with the hygienist  :-(   suppose it can't all be fun, fun, fun! it should be a busy half term, I've a couple of lunch dates planned and Rachel and co are coming for a sleepover on Thursday.

Everyone seems to have coped well with Valentines day. One of my friends on here had a terrible day, her hubbie is going downhill fast and was not expected to last the day. When I saw her PM this morning I dreaded opening it, he lasted the day ,well up to her posting at around 10pm. It is so hard to know what to say to her. I have told her about this thread and how much support there has been for me. I'm sure if she decides to join us you will all welcome her. It's horrific isn't it, she has had months of turmoil and now she is going to have to go through everything we have endured, I so wish I could do more to help her.

I will have a look where Buxton is, I'm not sure it is so near to me.

Anyway bye for now. Love Lesley xx

Morning everyone

Manda hope you have a lovely time and your colds dont last too long.

Ailsa sounds like you and Declan had a good time x

Judi your night sounds lovely too.

Lesley so sorry to hear about your friends hubbie, sure she appreciates your support x

My day was ok yesterday, went to the gym then went to our local with a few friends, it was the anniversary of the death of the ex landladys brother so we had a few drinks to remember him.I then came home and Liam and his girlfriend were getting takeaway so they got me a pizza too and even sat with me to eat it. Maybe they felt sorry for me lol but I really appreciated their company.

I m off away for the night later so will catch up with you all tomorrow. I can use my sat nav again!!!!!!!

Only 27 sleeps Ailsa! Not long now xxx

Gayle sounds like you ve been busy and got a lot planned, good for you. Enjoy x

Hope everyone else is ok, have a good day

Helen xxx

I'm off to Cornwall for a couple of days to look after my mother - see you when i get back.

love to all

Sue xx

Drive safely Sue, hope you get some to time to enjoy too xxx

Hi Everyone,

Had quite a rough day yesterday and was really struggling this morning.  Just wanted to walk away from my work and haven't been like that for a very long time.  Cried on the way in and then my boss noticed as soon as he saw me (he doesn't do emotions but we are close) and I just told him to leave me alone.  Feeling a bit better now but so tired as didn't sleep at all last night (which doesn't help the emotions).  Going out tonight with 3 friends for a meal and a drink so hopefully that will cheer me up a little.

Lesley - your posts always move me to tears lol!  Not in a bad way but you just always say something that describes a feeling perfectly that strikes a chord with me.  I know what you mean about enduring so much before our husbands died and at that time you think you can't take anymore but like you say that is only the start of it - it gets much worse but how can you tell anyone else that?  I am sure she appreciates your support and much as it pains us all to have new people on the thread for obvious reasons she would be very welcome.

Sue - have a good time in Cornwall.  Helen, hope you are enjoying your break. Judi - yes definitely still up for next Friday but can we possible make it about 11?  I have to be back in Falkirk in the afternoon as one of the guys at work is retiring so have to do the old putting in an appearance at the pub routine.

Hope everyone is okay.

Gayle x

Gayle, it's funny you should say that about my posts. I was just reading the first paragraph of your post and thinking omg that was me two weeks ago. I had to stop the car on my way to work as was crying so much I couldn't see, then make-up all over my face. I went in eventually, I think people knew it was a 'bad' day. I said to the lady I share an office with that I hoped no-one said a wrong word to me as I knew I would just pick up my bag and walk. it is so frightening to know that your emotions are so strong they could make you do something that would so obviously be such a big mistake.

I think I was telling Manda once that I get such strong urges sometimes when I am down. It has not happened again since Christmas but two of the urges I had frightened me very much. The first one was that I wanted to get my kitchen scissors and chop of all my hair and the second happened quite a few times, I woke in the early hours and really wanted to go out and walk and walk. Now I am usually a very sane person and I think because I have told people about my urges I will not do them but at the time it feels very scary to think you might. I wouldn't mind but my hair is the one thing I like about myself!

I think we just have to hope that these very down days become fewer.

Sending hugs to you on this very grey, rainy and cold Manchester day!  xx

(((((((Healing Hugs)))))))    ((((((((((Loving Hugs))))))))))  (((((((((Angel Hugs)))))))))) to you all. It is clear by recent post just how much everyonbe is struggling just lately. Oh everyone says they are ok from time to time but between the lines everyone seems to be really in bits. If I am wrong about this then please forgive me. If I am right then remember that time is irrelevant when it comes to our feelings. We all have to work through our feelings and get to our acceptance of our changed situation in our own way and in our own time. Personally I sometimes think that I am finally getting there and then I find I have almost slipped back to the beginning again.

Have the best evening you can and enjoy the good things in life when they are dropped in your lap. When the 'less good' times are upon you remember that all your friends on here will take you into the 'penguin huddle' and keep you safe and warm until you feel able to face the world again.

Love and angel hugs to you all x x x Patricia x x x

Evening all , big big hugs to You all but especially Gayle and Lesley and i think maybe Ailsa too , hope your "down time" passes soon . Sue i hope your mothere is ok and its not to stressfull for you . Helen have a good night away , good old sat nav , i've had to use mine today lol . Patricia , when is it you go  to Japan ? Judi i hope Boy has had a good birthday , i cant wait to hear about the suprises you had in store for him . Fiona , hope your sleeping better , i'm sure a hug from Charlie is always a help . my brain doesn't want to work at the mo . so i will be back xxxxxxxxxxxx