My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Can I be 'sleepy' then because I am very, very tired today, and as there isn't one called stupid then he will have to do. I seem to be having trouble posting today.

x x x Patricia x x x

Seeing as it took an undercover mission, that was not without its dangers .... canals etc,  by Mrs North to get actual photographic proof of Mrs Tulloch - I hereby suggest that Gayle will be Bashful!!

J xx

And Bren will have to be Sneezy, cos she has the cold!

Note to self - must log out now, I really need to get on with my work.

- odd how easily distracted I am, isn't it.  

J x

Sneezy it is!  Although the cold seems to be gone at the moment.  Feeling more positive today, I actually go a decent sleep last night.  What a difference that makes!  Monday back to work but it is so busy here that the days fly by.    Hope everyone has a good week

Thanks Judi lol!  Yeah I can live with bashful although more likely to be grumpy.  Feeling grumpy today.  Not for any particular reason though!  I am off work today and tomorrow and the house has a thousand things needing done and all I have done is mooch about all day.  So very unproductive.  Ah well tomorrow is another day and it will still be there to do then.  Went to the docs today about my sore finger as it is reaaaaally sore now.  Everytime it bumps into something I have to swear as it is so sore :-)   I was all worried that he would want to do something to it and he did offer but I just said oh it will be fine just antibiotics will do, so thats what I got.  Hopefully they will start kicking in shortly as it is starting to make me feel sick now and thats probably why I feel so fed up too.  But don't worry I will no doubt be posting later in the week that I am now feeling sick with the antibiotics - as you can see I am having one of those days and need someone to come and give me a good kick up the bum!

I got another email from Wully's ex today which was nice but sad.  She said she remember Wully phoning her about 9 years ago when her dad died (I remember him saying he did it now) and she told me that he said to her that he had a really good woman in his life and was happy.  Found that very sad as even though he always told me that it is strange hearing it from a stranger if you know what I mean.

Anyway I am away to mooch round the kitchen now and attempt to make myself a ready meal.

Hope everyone else is having an okay day.  Bug higs to the penguins.

Gayle xxx

Gayle, here is the requested kick up the bum closely followed by gentle (((((((((hugs)))))))))

x x Patricia x x

Gayle, you feel free to mooch as much as you need.  I even manage to put off procrastinating, so you would have to go some to beat me on managing to ignore things around the house that should to be done.  (They can't really NEED to be done can they, cos if they did then they wouldn't still be there waiting to be done the next day would they??!!)

Sue will find us a picture for your finger, and yes I have often wondered how something small like a torn nail, or a poisoned finger can be the cause of such severe pain.  It can't be even 1% of our body but can hurt like hell .... very odd.

Bren I am glad that your cold is improving, please don't send it over here - as you have obviously done with the snow that should be decorating your landscape, not mine!!

Am off to play with the orangutangs as they are singing (you will have to read back a few pages to understand).  Tomorrow is my wedding anniversary, and already I have had three or four gentle e-mails or texts from friends just to say they will be thinking of me - people can be very kind and have very good memories. 

Much love to all - probably speak later.

Judi xx

No Judi, you can't be dopey, that's me! I don't think my mind is still 100% ready for work, I keep forgetting what people have told me, it is so unlike me, I am usually so ultra organised. Is it normal to be like this after a bereavement? I think I am doing OK at work then I notice people glance at each other and realise I have forgotton something they told me the day before. I swore blind at a meeting today that I had not heard anything from a social worker, then as someone was threatening to phone and blast them, something crept into my mind and I thought I remembered a meeting, the headteacher later confirmed that she had organised for me to do a joint home visit with the social worker tomorrow, she had told me on Friday and I had compleatly forgotton the whole conversation. This is not the first time it has happened since I returned to work, I hope it stops soon I will be getting the sack.

Hello to Hazel, I hope you find some comfort on here, we are not a bad bunch and are mostly sane, well maybe not Judi, lol, she is the one with a big pink hat and pink wellies!

Gayle, what have you done to your finger? hope the pills kick in soon.

Sue, it is not whinging it is just telling it like it is at any given moment. If we can't let off steam on here then what is the point of coming on? It is great getting support from others but sometimes we all need to just pour our hearts out and usually feel better for it.

Anyway I for one am glad January is over, February is here and another step closer to spring and getting that dreaded first year over with.

Hugs to all Love Dopey!!!!!!   You can be Happy Judi, xoxoxoxo

Evening all , i cant believe you've all claimed dopey you all know who is the dopey queen !!! Gayle , are you grumpy cos your sad ??? (sorry couldn't resist that one ) Hope your finger feels better soon . Judi i can just imagine you dressed as a penguin with pink wellies , love it . Amanda , memory ? what is that ? yes it does affect you in that way hopefully not for ever hun . Patricia , did you go for a drive yesterday ? hope your tears have stopped now and that your back on track , we cant manage without your angel hugs xx Sue thanks for offering to save me if i fell in the canel , never much chance of that tho with Gayle looking after me lol xx. Ailsa i'll be carrying my penguin when we meet but i think there has been enough photos of me on face book you wont miss me xx Bren (sneazy) hope your cold is better soon and make sure you lock your door up now or you might find a penguin on your doorstep soon ,there's no stopping me now , whats a few thousand miles between friends lol xx    Hope everybody is having a ok day Judi i'll be thinking about you tommorow xx   Fiona , Quill , Helen Lesley  Rosemary Dave Dottee and a special welcome to Hazel please keep posting , we are an ok lot really xx 

Well the man i took home on friday died a hour after we'd taken him home , i'm so glad i did it now . He would probably still have made if i'd passed the job over  for a little while but who knows xx

 Take care Lynne xx

ouch!!!!!!