My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

i should be delighted, Ailsa, if we all sent sky candles to our loved ones at Christma; there's something strangely comforting about the thought of them all going up, up and away from different parts of the country on the same day and for the same reason, and from a group of friends drawn together by the loss of their adored partners.

www.skycandle.co.uk will supply them, if you can't get them locally. The best sort of shop is like the one in our town, a quirky little gift shop which sells everything from incense to handmade wooden furniture.

sue xx

Hi everyone, not going to try to catch up at this very minute, but just wanted to say that I ordered some skycandles last week so that we could send one up to Miles on Christmas day... They arrived yesterday morning so Sue, we will be joining the 'skycandle parade' too...

Hope you have all had a reasonable weekend

Manda xx

Sometimes it is scary how similar we all are!!  Having seen you picture of the sky candles Sue I was on this afternoon and ordered some too! 

Next weekend I am having a Christmas get together with the 'group' that Ed and I were friendly with.  One of the girls sent a text round asking when we could get together for a 'couples night' (they were always 'girlies nights' or couples nights') she phoned almost straight away in floods of tears because she though she had been so thoughtless - but I was able to reassure her than I hadn't got upset and was glad to be invited.  She said but you and Ed will always be part of the group - which was nice.  Anyway, I had already decided that as long as it is a nice evening I shall take enough sky candles for us all to light one to him.  So thank you Sue.  I will admit to having ordered enough to give friends one as a 'wee pressie' for Christmas - I think they look beautiful - and it has saved me taxing the brain cell thinking of other stuff.  Oh, and I am also going to take some down to Mum and Dad's at New Year to do the same down there.  So Sue, you have really come up with a goodun. 

Oh Helen - was it a 'never again'  night!!! LOL.  Good for you hun, after your week you deserved a little release. 

Sue, really sorry that you you are having a grotty time, Bug Higs a plenty coming your way. Lynne, if you think I am sometimes funny - you would have loved me this week.  Joey (one of the dogs) has had an upset tummy - so if you could have seen me walking up the middle of the street in my slippers, pyjamas, big blanket coat and a woolly hat with the dogs at 1am, again at 2am and just for fun at 5am - because he is so good and was crying to get out when his tummy was sore!!!  Hope none of the neighbours were looking out their windows!!

Love to all.  Am far too late ....... again.  But tomorrow will try and catch up with everyone and get up to date.  Loads of love Judi xxx

Judi

Sue you are not a miserable bat. You are just hurting so badly for love of your dear husband. You are allowed to feel down but I hope that you soon feel a little more upbeat. The skycandles sound a fabulous idea.

Ailsa, I am pleased fpor you that you have the resting place sorted now.

Lynne, glad you had a good holiday, no less eventful than I would expect.

Judi, hope the poor dog is feeling a little better and that you yourself are feeling a little less 'down'.

Gayle, kids are so matter of fact that they take you by surprise don't they with their candid approach to life and all it brings?

Esme, I hope you enjoy Cornwall. Where are you going?

Helen, how on earth do you walk in high heels?

Dot, Kaz, Dave, Manda and anyone else I may have missed I hope you are all ok.

I went out for lunch on Sunday with my dad, sister and bro-in-law. We had a good time together and it was a change from sitting home alone. I am not sure if dad was aware, but we actually went out to commemorate Mum's birthday which was on Saturday.  (She would have been 80). 

Well I hope you all have a good start to your week and that maybe you can find a little bit of peace in your day.

Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x

Hi everyone,

Hope your weekends were okay or as okay as they can be.  We went shopping for our Christmas tree yesterday (I haven't put it up yet lol - I just wanted to get it out the way!) and the boys saw Santa.  To be honest I was in a foul mood all day.  Life is just so unfair.  Bizarrely when I was waiting on the guy coming to help with the tree a little robin appeared inside the garden centre and sat and watched me for ages.  Wully loved robins so I found it incredibly sad rather than a comfort.  I am just really missing him at the moment.  I feel so alone even though I am usually surrounded by people and find myself snapping at the boys all the time when they are going through a confusing enough time at the moment as it is.  Sorry to rant ladies but I just feel quite blue today.  Sometimes I even find myself angry with Wully for leaving us although that is absolutely silly as he went kicking and screaming so to speak.  He didn't want to go so it wasn't his fault.

Hugs to you all.

Gayle xx

Ahh Gayle, don't apologise we've all been there and will go there again.  I know what you mean about the anger, I kept wanting to get angry with Steve for leaving us (normal part of the process apparently, as ever) but I just knew that he didn't want to go and he would never have left us if there was anything he could've done.  That makes it harder I think as there is nowhere to direct your anger, hence you end up snapping about other things.  I can't think of any words of comfort but I am thinking of you and sending lots love xxxxx

Eveing everyone

What happened to Sunday!!!??? Yes Judi it was a`never again!!!`. Think it was a bit too much of a release after last week, was so cross with myself for feeling grotty then felt sorry for myself and wanted someone to look after me but was all self inflicted. But on a lighter note, not only did I walk in my heels I danced too!! Are you impressed lol?? and didn`t take them off all night ha ha!

Think we`re all feeling the same about xmas and`this time last year`. We were still hoping the treatment had worked but Paul did say at one stage do you think this will be my last christmas?? Didn`t think it for one minute!! Who`d have thought??

The girl I work with ..her mum has lung cancer and has just been admitted to hospital with only a couple of weeks left they think. It seems to be everywhere doesn`t it?? She was upset (obviously)this morning but we got through the day. Even had a bit of a laugh!!

How is everyone else after Monday? Sue I love your idea of a 3 day weekend, don`t think my head would agree either though. Sure the kids would!! You`re not a miserable old bat either ((())) You hardly ever moan, it`s your turn !!!xxxx

Bug higs to everyone

Helen xxx

Hello everyone.  I feel like tonight is the first normal evening I have had in some time.  I have nipped out to see a colleague of Chris's whose birthday it was last week.  I made her a card but had no time to take it to her - fixed now.  I showed her all the photos from the hen do & the wedding and the bench and the headstone.  I feel like I have had a good catch up.  I haven't heard from Becky yet so I hope they got home okay.  I have had a phone call from Chris's older sister this evening - she is thrilled with the headstone and the bench so that is good news.

Like Manda & Judi, I will order my sky candles ready for Christmas and New Year.  How is your dog Judi - tummy any better?

I'm glad you enjoyed your Sunday with your family Patricia.  Hope you are okay.

I am sure you are allowed to be in a foul mood Gayle.  My children seem to be more affected by the bad mood than me but I also think it misses me because I spend so much time worrying about them being in a bad mood - I try to help them cheer up.  I understand you being angry - I feel the same sometimes.  I remember telling Chris I was angry with him for being ill but he asked me not to be.  He understood what I meant though - the anger wasn't at him personally just at his illness.

I'm glad you are recovering from your night out Helen.  I'm sorry to hear that your colleagues mum has lung cancer.  Strange you should say that cancer seems to be everywhere - I am supposed to be meeting up with a lady who used to work for me.  While she was working for me her daughter died of cancer and I vividly remember a conversation with her where she said it seemed as though cancer was all around her.  We decided that we were just finely tuned to it as it was affecting someone we loved.  Unfortunately her husband now has cancer witha poor prognosis.  She wants to come to see me so I am going to suggest Friday.  Think I might need a huge box of tissues.

Good news - Becky just rung and she is quite safe so I can stop fretting now - she stopped at work on the way home.  I'd best got off and get a paint brush out - story of my life!!  Take care everyone.  Bug higs ((()))xxx

Evening everybody , just a quick one to say i,ve ordered my sky candles too xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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