My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Evening all - Sue those lanterns look beautiful..........what a lovely way to remember someone dear..........Love and (((((hugs)))))))) to all Dot xxxxxxxxx

Hi everyone,

Sue those Sky Candles look lovely - what a nice idea.

Ailsa - hope the weekend goes well - I am sure you are enjoying the house being busy.  The grave looks great - lovely sentiments on the stones and a lovely place for you to go and sit.

Lynne - glad you are back in one piece and that the Halifax mess is sorted.  You need to pass out those choccies!

Helen - hope you have a great night out and don't fall over in your heels lol x

Judi, Esme, Fiona, Patricia - big hugs.

I have had a busy few days with work and other mundane things so fairly quiet day today as I am tired and just about to head off to bed.  I am taking the boys to see Santa tomorrow.  I really didn't want to do it this year but they want to go and I will send my mum in with them.  You can just feel the emotion building up already.  I had my shopping delivered this week and could feel myself getting upset unpacking the boxes of chocs and biscuits that I had ordered.  That was one of the great things about Christmas with Wully.  We used to love getting lots of treats in and then either veg on the couch watching Christmas TV or share with visitors.  Wully probably loved that over anything else at Christmas before the boys came along.  We went to the barbers today and Jamie announced loudly to the girl that he lives with his mum but his dad is dead.  He says it so matter of fact because he is so young but you could have heard a pin drop lol!!!  I just had to change the subject.

Anyway, off to bed for an early night.

Gayle xx

Hi Everyone Was going to say good evening but i see by looking at the clock it's morning o why is  it so hard to sleep, i was never a late bedder but just don' t want to go up the stairs to bed now. I  have not done any xmas shopping yet just can't think about it so think it will just be money for nost of my family this year. I can't  stop thinking about last year as it's coming up to when everything went wrong for Derek and i never thought he was near the end. I just keep telling myself at least he is pain free now and hopefully he is somewhere nice and he is happy with his mum and my mum. Charlie growing already thats him a week old, Kim put a photo on facebook for me. I have just been at home tonight as don't want to get use to going to Kim's everynight as i need to get use to being on my own, was out this morning to see Charlie. My friend booked tickets for six of us to go and see Rod Stewart in Glasgow next July , so that will be something to look forward to. Well hope everyone is doing ok this weekend, i better get off to bed now and see if i can sleep tonight, then up to see Charlie in the morning. Luv to All.  Fiona xxxxxxxxxxxx

Kaz - if you're around -miss you

sue xx

Recommendation for getting over the sleeping alone - well its worked for me at least - always have a book on the go, I settle down with my glasses on, hand cream on pillows comfortable and just read for as long as I need.  Sometimes it's past midnight but more often these days my eyes are closing before that.  Then I can take off glasses, close book, snuggle down, turn off light, say goodnight to Steve and usually get off to sleep quite well and the even better thing is of late I find I often sleep through now as well.  I have a list of books I thoroughly enjoy if anyone wants some suggestions, some I have read 6 times each as they are now old friends, some are just authors I enjoy.  Give me a shout if you need any titles.

Off to do the horses, will look in later, hope everyone is ok with their weekends, love and higs to all xxxxx

Hi all

Four o'clock and definitely dark.  We have had rain, hail and VERY cold winds today. 

Nothing really to tell from me this weekend.  Although I have just made a pot of curried parsnip soup and one of sweet potato and rosemary soup.  No idea what they will taste like!  I had a rush of blood to the head and decided I needed to do something today instead of just sitting around.

Helen and Lynne - I hope you both enjoyed your nights out and didn't fall off your heels!  Rosemary, I also always have a book on the go.  The only trouble with that is on the rare occasion I do feel myself nodding off you can guarantee that it is a good book and I am not able to put it down.  I try to have  a word with my brain cell to remind it that the book will still be there in the morning, it isn't go to go anywhere - but have been known to be still turning pages at 2 or 3 in the morning!

I am going to go and reread all the previous posts now, as I can't remember a what everyone has been up to and will be back later.  Wish me luck with my soups!

Judi xxxx

Hi all , Well had a busy day with all the kids coming for lunch , its lovely when there all here and i usually get very down once their gone but i've got so much to do after being away last week , i need to sort all my work stuff out . I had a good night last night , i bumped into my sister and she met everyody from work so i think she feels better now as she thinks no one looks after me like she does now she has realised that the others care about me too so she might stop worrying about me a little bit now . It was lovely last night as a couple of my work mates we're going i heard one say to someone else "you will look after Lynne wont you " bless , i dont think i need looking after but it is nice to know they care xx

Helen i hope your night went well ,how did the heels go ? i see on f/b you've been suffering lol , i was fine this morning but really tired now , early night for me then .xx

 I cant read in bed Esme but i've found my electric blanket helps me to get into bed now , i cant even watch the tv in bed , i jus try and get to sleep , thats probably why i'm tossing and turning all night It seems xmas has a significance to a few of us , we had just been told that the trial Gordon was on wasn't working and just to get through christmas and new year and go back to see what the next step was , so we didn't do a lot , but we never for a minite thought it would be his last one , i'm glad we didn't know that would have been so much harder .xx

Ailsa i hope you've enjoyed your weekend with Becky , Declan and Suzanne and hope you get something sorted out with the Abbey soon , anyone want some chockies , any birthdays coming up ? i'll have to give them away as i dont want to put any weight on , any offers ??

Fiona , i was looking at the Rod Stewart adverts and i was so tempted to try and get tickets but i,ve already spent a lot on x factor and dancing on ice tickets so i'll have to rely on you to tell me all about it lol and i'll be doing the same as you i think for christmas , money .. I've got the "little kids " presants but cant get my head round all the others , i usually find it so easy , dam this brain deadness ..

Judi i hope your feeling a little better now , your posts always amuse me so its so awful when your so down but glad you post to let us know how your feeling and i hope it helped xx

Sue the lanterns are a brill idea , i may have to steal it sorry xx

Hi to Patricia ,  , Amanda , Dave ,Yvonne , Quill Tarnie and Dottee , i hope your all having the best weekend you can .

Lynnexxxxxxxxxxxx

Gayle i meant to say , its always the kids that do the straight talking , my little G/ daughter came across a photo of Gordon and said , "Ah i loved Grandad Gordon , its not fair is it " i couldn't have put it better myself xxxxxxx

just popped on to say good night to everyone and wish you well for the week ahead. I see that we're in for more glorious weather, so batten down the hatches, girls and boys, and stay safe.

when, i wonder will the three-day weekend be invented? Do you think we could start a trend? Not sure what my boss would think, seeing that i work in a school, but it sounds an attrractive idea to me. Can't face the thought of going to work tomorrow, but suppose it'll happen.

Today has been pretty c**p really; vile weather, stuck indoors feeling sorry for myself, need a good kick up the rear end to get me going. Miserable old bat that i am!!

              sue xx

Hello everyone.  I am late getting on here tonight.  Becky has been working on my PC all day - some sort of training course.  I did a post this morning but then it disappeared when I tried to post it.  I couldn't face typing it all over again.

Sorry you are feeling miserable Sue - I love your 3 day weekend idea.  I have tomorrow morning off to see becky 7 Declan off and to return a carpet shampooer I have had on hire this weekend.  Not quite the same as a real 3 day weekend.  Hope you feel a bit better tomorrw.

I'm sure you will enjoy the Rod Stewart concert in the summer Fiona.  I am going to go to more shows and concerts in 2010.  Not sure what yet but will try to organise something soon.  Can't believe Charlie is a week old already!!

Thank you to you all for the lovely comments on facebook about Chris's grave.  I went with the girls and Declan today and we put flowers in all the pots.  I also put a lantern on so that we can light a candle when we visit.  It seems a fitting tribute.  It will be best in the summer when I can sit on the bench with a book, in the sun and glance across to Chris.

Sounds like you Christmas shopping with Wully was much the same as mine with Chris Gayle.  We used to get allsorts of shary things in either for us or to share with visitors.   It looks like we have to give up on our plan to eat out on Christmas day - we left it too late and couldn't get in anywhere.  We have decided instead to each make part of the meal.  Stu is doing starters,  Toni is doing pudding,  I am doing meat and Becky is doing veg and all other trimmings.  Sue I am going to see if I can get some of the sky lanterns or candles for us to set off on Christmas day - it is a lovely idea and I hope you don't mind me pinching it?

Helen - how was your night out and how did your killer heels hold up?  Sounds like you had a good night out as well Lynne - and a lovely day with you family today.  I have enjoyed having Becky & Declan here.

I fancy trying a bit of one of your soups Judi - they both sound great for the weather we are having this weekend - it is awful, so cold and wet and wintery.

I hope everyone else is okay.  Take care and have a good night.  Ailsa xx