My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

FormerMember
FormerMember
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My husband - Chris - died on the 2nd May 2009 because he had anal cancer. He knew he was going and we spoke about lots and lots of things before he died. That is why I am just not prepared for the huge amount of guilt I feel now. I feel guilty that the world hasn't stopped turning round even though he has died. I feel like everything should stop as a mark of respect. I also feel very guilty that he had to be so ill he had to die. What a cruel cruel thing it is to make someone so ill their body just stops working. I wasn't ready for him to go. I really really hope these are normal feelings because I must hang on to my sanity for the sake of my 3 children. I have never known sadness like I feel right now. I can't believe that I will not hear his voice or feel his touch again. We were married for almost 32 years and I have known Chris for 34 years - since I was 16. What happens now? Ailsa

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hi Judi

    We must have posted at the same time!! That sounds like fun tomorrow night, and opening the bar too!!

    Has anyone watched P.S I Love you? Lovely film but real weepy, the book is good too.

    Helen xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Helen, Helen, Helen - I am going to tell Patricia that you got in trouble from the Gym Man for not working hard enough.  You need to take a leaf out of the 118118 pair (me and Patricia) teehee.

    I loved PS. I love you - the book.  But as always, when I saw the film afterwards I kept thinking - 'but I didn't think he/she was like that!'

    Judi xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Ha ha 118 118!!! I`ll just get on my exercise bike next time!!

    That`s the trouble with most films isn`t it? Never as good as the book!!

    Helen xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hi Helen Yes i have a great family thank goodness , i've always wanted to watch ps ilove you but dont think i can now . Judi your weekend sounds great , have fun . Would you believe i'm going out dressed as a cowboy/girl tommorow night , (birthday do for girl at work ) no doubt they'll be a few pics on face book on sat . Hope everybody else has good plans for the weekend . Night for now xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Lynne, I am beginning to see a habit forming here, a witch last week, a cowgirl tomorrow! You go and have a lovely time - YeeeeeeHaaaa. 

    Helen hun - hugs for tomorrow, you know I will raise a glass to both you and Paul tomorrow evening. xxxxx

    Judi

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Lynne have a great night x Look forward to the photos.

    Thanks Judi, I`ll have one with you too

    Night all Helen xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hi Everyone, Well i am still feeling awful and keep wondering what i have done to have to go through all this pain. I miss Scoob as he has been a great comfort to me since Derek died and i just hope i done the right thing at gettin him put to sleep, i am still looking for him as he always came down the stairs when i came in from work to get fed and he slept on Derek's chair in the evening. Hope everyone is doing ok? I will hoprfully get myself sorted out i have even been off my work as just could not cope. It also has brought all the memories of Derek's and my mums last week in hospital flooding back. Kim and me were just talking tonight about going to a medium after the baby is born, it's not something i would have ever thought of doing before but now i think i would like to go and just see what they have to say.   I have heard a few fireworks going off tonight. Welcome Jean thinking of you and sorry you find yourself posting on here but it is a god send to me and everyone is so lovely and we are all going through the same and makes us feel we are not alone in this nightmare. Well i better get off to bed as working tomorrow and try and get back to normal. Speak soon and luv to everybody.  Fiona xxxxxxxxxxx   

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Aww Judi, what a lovely story. How touchingly poingnant.

    Dot, I don't fancy having a massage from someone in hobnailed boot thanks.

    Lynne, do you have an identity crisis? You appear to do a lot of 'dressing up' . lol

    Fiona it is surely very difficult for you to get used to Scooby not being there any more to greet you. I feel certain that there is no way you would have let him go if it had not been necessary. ((((((Big Hugs))))

    Everyone else I hope that you have had a reasonable bonfire night.

    I hope everyone has a good morning today.

    Love and angel hugs x x Patricia x x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Morning girls - hope everyone managed a little sleep in spite of the fireworks last night??  I crashed out before 10:30 and woke after 6:00 this morning!!  That's a lie-in for me.............poor Ellie-dog was plaiting her legs when I surfaced!!!!!  So have dashed round the park with her and then done my exercises - in the comfort of my sitting room - NOT in the middle of the park (before you all start misreading that too!!!!!!!)

    Lynne - what a lovely family you have (I'm lucky if I get a cup of tea without protest!) - tea and company for the fireworks!!!  You wouldn't get me anywhere near fireworks displays......I hate the things and wouldn't be sorry if they were banned!!!  I was tempted to join Ellie-dog under my desk last night!!!  Sorry for the 'bah humbug' moment!!!  And you enjoy dressing up too??  Well why not - keep in touch with the child within I say!!!  'thlap my sighs' oops!!  I mean 'slap my thighs' and a yeehaa to you.............xx

    Judi - I loved your story of the film.....I always try to hold back the tears when watching films cos I get teased for being so emotional about 'soppy films'!!!  My menfolk prefer 'Star Wars' and 'Terminator' etc...........I've read 'Time Traveller's Wife' recently with readers group and we enjoyed that......we're hoping to see the film soon!!!  We always have lively discussions when comparing film and book!!!!!  Enjoy your weekend and don't drink the bar dry!!!!!xx

    Helen - your trainer sounds a bit mean!!  Making you work hard so late in the evening!!!

    Fiona - poor you - but I feel sure you did the right thing by your puss............a special comforting (((hug))) for youxx

    Jean - as the others have said welcome and please keep posting...we're all here to listen, (((hug))) and comfort one another - whatever stage we're at!!!!

    Enjoy today and your weekends........Love and ((((((hugs))))))  Dot xxxxxxxxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Morning all , thanks for all your good wishes for tonight everybody , idenity crisis , probably lol , never know weather i'm coming or going anyway . Fiona , ahh my love i hope your feeling better soon , no you shouldn't have this pain too xxx Helen  you have a good weekend , i'm not sure if i'll get on tonight as i dont get in till past 6 and i'm being picked up at 10 to 8 , how long does it take a cowgirl /boy to get ready ?. Is it a weekend your out  or just the night . I'm sure you'll have a good time as you will be talking about Paul if your with freinds that knew him . Hi Judi your posts always have me either stitches or tears keep them coming xx Hi also , Ailsa , Gayle Dottee , Esme Jean and Sue , have a good day . Take care

    Lynne xxxxxxxxxxxxx