My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

To all my friends on Share

This poem was printed in our church newsletter - i hope you don't mind if i bore you with it.

dear Lord,

Every single evening

as i'm lying here in bed

This tiny little prayer

Keeps running through my head.

God bless all my family

Wherever they may be.

keep them warm

and safe from harm

For they are close to me.

and God, there is one more thing

I wish that you could do:

Hope you don't mind me asking

Please bless my computer too.

Now I know that it's unusual

to bless an old keyboard,

but listen just a second

while I explain it to you, Lord.

You see, that little metal box

Holds more than odds and ends;

inside those small compartments

rest so many of my friends.

I know so much about them

Much the same as you

We share in what life brings us

And from that our friendship grew.

Please take an extra minute

From your duties up above

To bless those in my address book

That's filled so much with love.

Wherever else this prayer may reach

To each and every friend,

Bless each e-mail inbox

And each person who hits 'send'.

When you update your Heavenly list

On your own great CD-ROM

Bless everyone who says this prayer

Sent up to GOD.com.

Sue x

Love it Sue xxxx

I love that poem Susan.  Thank you.  But er, excuse me, I don't think you even need to contemplate a gym - sorting out that bedroom must be at least the equivalent of a two hour work out.   Ailsa, good point about drink spilling - I will have to put my thinking cap on.   Way to go you, staying up and out until 2am, and more importantly that you paced yourself.  Really proud of you - and so would Chris have been. 

Spoke to mum and dad this evening re going down at New Year and it appears my brother and all his family are going to travel up (they are in Brighton) to see me, so now I am really looking forward to it.  When my dad wants to say something/offer help/make a suggestion that he is not sure about he always starts with "Your mother was wondering.... "  Today it was to suggest that mum came up to be here for the first anniversary - I have said no, while I love the sentiment behind it, I am fairly sure that I would rather not 'make plans' and just see on the day where I want to be, if I want to see anyone at all.  I think/hope they understood.    Today I am not too scared about the 'year' approaching.  Today I think - you know what, 365 days is no worse, no better and no different than 278 or 491 days or any number of days.  I just wish it was no days. 

Judi xx

Great poem Sue xx

Judi you sound so positive, well done xx

Well I`m have a weepy one tonight since coming home from a lovely day. I`ve come to bed to hide from son and daughter cause I can`t hold the tears in any longer and don`t want to upset them.

Helen xxx

Big ((((((((((HUGS))))))) Helen,

Love Quill xxx

Helen

Lovely days often end with tears, so just you snuggle down.  Positive .... ah well ... maybe more resigned really.  Judi x

Oh, helen

    sue x

Good morning everyone.  I am not going into work until a bit later today as I need to drop my van off at the garage for them to have a look at my drivers door and see what needs doing to fix it - something has come off inside is about as technical as I can get.

I had a message from Esme on facebook.  She is having a problem posting on here but is keeping up with the posts and sends everyone her love.  Fiona was having a problem last week so hopefully Esme will be posting again very shortly.  Hope you are keeping okay Esme xx

Lynne I am sure your grandson will have a lovely 3rd birthday today with you as his grandma.  Enjoy the fun later.  I am glad you will still go to Benidorm but just be more aware.  That was the same lesson I chose when my bag was snatched.

Sue - well done getting the rooms ready.  Who needs a gym?  Will it take the decorator long to do his bit?  The peom is great.  I will share that with a friend a work.

  Helen, I hope you are feeling a little better today.  You must have had a lovely day to miss Paul so much by the end of it.  It sounds like you had one of those days where there was only one person missing and it was a bit too obvious.  Take care of yourself xx

Judi - you sound very positive.  If it is any help at all I think you have made the right choice not to make plans and just see what you want to do on the day.  Just make sure there are a few close people on standby who know you may or may not need someone at short notice.

Hi Dot, Fiona, Patricia, Gayle, Quill, Janice, Kev & JanieJane, Debs & Kaz.  I hope everyone is okay today.  Ailsa xx 

Morning all Grumpy here , back to work today .

Hug for Helen hope your feeling better today ..

Group hug to my very good friends .

Lynne xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Good morning all.  I have been reading all your letters and i really am truly amazed at how strong you all are.  I know the many times that the world does not care, but there are many out there with their own problems too.  I also feel terribly guilty, my husband and i divorced about 10 years ago, and he is now all alone, with no one to take care of him.  Our daughter who is 13 years old, goes to him everyday, but it is getting to a stage where he is just sleeping all the time and he is so thin, has not eaten for neary 8 days now.  I am petrified that she will be alone at the house with him and he passes away.. I have spoken to him about going to hospice but he is so stubborn and refuses to go.  I have tried everything to get him to eat at least something, even to drink water, but to no avail.  I am sure his insides are packing up slowly but surely, his mind is so confused, i think due to the morphine he is taking.  I know the best thing would be to put him in hospital, but he is adamant he wants to be at home. I hate this, all the pain he is going thru, all the emotions the rest of us are going thru, it is just not fair.  A collegue at work said something so true, It is the people who don't have cancer that actually suffer the most, i think them looking at us suffering makes it even harder for them too.  I am so scared of losing him, and for my daughter who is just her daddy's little girl, and for all that will come after!!!!