My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Morning all , just a quick post to wish you all a good day , its 10 weeks today since my lonely nightmare began so feeling pretty crappy on top of the S/D saga , but i will bounce back , i'm determined , sorry i've not answered the individual posts i cant seem to concentrate , but i thank you all for your continued support . Speak later xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))) for you Lynne xxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Everyone,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss GreatBea, but this is a really great place and you will get lots of support.

Lynne, sorry to hear about your step daughter, but like the others have said, I am sure that it was said in the heat of the moment and she is probably regretting saying it. Families can be very difficult at times!

Ailsa, great news about your sister getting married. If you have any diet tips let me know, as I am already getting bored of fruit and desperately trying not to go for a choccy bar!!

Sending big hugs to everyone who is not having a great time

Claire x

Hi everybody , well i had to give in and come home at lunch time , i couldn't shake my self out this mood , i think its because its 10 weeks aswell , i can honestely say today as been my worse day , i think S/D hasn't helped but think i would have felt bad anyway . I've been to the cemetery and spent a couple of hours there , i took a blanket to sit on and i actually fell asleep , i'm hoping no one walked past whilst i was dozing , i've decided to allow my self today and i am going to do what Helen did last sat and give myself a good talking too and then get on with it .S/D has been texting me today asking me how i was so i told her how bad i felt , she sent a lovely text back about staying strong , i didn't say that she was probably the cause of a lot of it as i dont want her mother to know that it has upset me . I think the mother is feeling guilty that she took all Gordons share of the house and so was trying to get money to give to the girls to ease her own guilt but its to late for that . I'm so thankfull for the support girls , thanks for the hug Dottee And kind words , Claire ,Sue , Helen , Ailsa , Trisha , Gayle , Coral and Fiona ..
I'm going back to the cemetery for a while and then going to my daughters for tea , Speak to you all later . Hope everybody is enjoying the sunshine xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi everyone,

Lynne, you have dealt with this perfectly although it is making you feel rubbish. I hope the tea goes well with your daughter and it might help talking to her about it.

Hope everyone else is okay. I have had a pretty rubbish day today with just one thing after another. Got an offer on the house which I was waiting for since Monday and it is £15,000 less than I can accept and what the house is worth so now waiting yet again to see if they come back with more. The stress is pretty unbearable. Whereas I normally dealt with these things okay I think now when you deal with big things on your own it is hard not being able to share it if you know what I mean. Jamie had a moment today too where he was crying for about 10 mins saying he missed his daddy. I had just given him a row for something so that probably didn't help but I just felt so sorry for him so I let him start the car tonight when we picked up my youngest so that soon cheered him up lol!

Tomorrow is another day as they say. Early night tonight to get today over as quick as possible I think. I am going for a meeting with my bank manager tomorrow to see about investing some money and I really can't be bothered.

Off for a cup of tea and hugs to you all.

Gayle x

Evening all

Sorry you`re having a bad day Lynne but I`m sorry I had a bit of a smile at you asleep at the cemetery. Just the picture of it xxx Hang in there xxx

Gayle I don`t envy you selling your house, it is so stressful at the best of times, you`re doing well. Know what you mean about decisions though, don`t seem to trust my own judgement sometimes. But we`ve got to now, we`ll have to ask each other at times.

I feel cross with the world and his wife today!!! Inwardly mind, but was supposed to be seeing a friend at the weekend and now she can`t make it and I feel so cross and let down. People have their own lives at the end of the day and I suppose seeing as how I am now 4 months down the line maybe they feel I`m ok, but it feels harder at the moment than at the beginning if that makes sense???

Hope everyone else is ok tonight, must all be busy

Helen xxx

Lynne hope you had a good evening at your daughters and glad that your step daughter has been kinder she is probably feeling a little guilty.
Gayle sorry the offer on you house was too low, it must be so unsettling for you and as you say so much for one person to cope with especially after what you have been through.
Still feeling pretty low at moment can't shake off the feeling of missing Liam so much, everything I do brings back so many memories. On the positive side nottingham rehab are finally picking up Liam's equipment tomorrow, fingers crossed anyway. That will give me something to do tomorrow putting the room back in order.
Hope everyone having good evenings.
Debs x

Helen , i cant believe i fell asleep i must have looked like a down and out laid there , and i really jumped when i woke up i couldn't work out where i was . I feel a little better now , the baileys is helping , thanks for that he he . Sorry your friend let you down , i'd feel the same way . A friend of mine said to me on monday , i was laughing at something and she said , oh i'm glad to see your over it now . WHAT just cos i laughed , the thick ****** .
Gayle hope things go well with the bank manager , and i hope the buyers raise there offer , it must be really stressfull for you . .. Hug back to you .. Hope everyone else is ok xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thanks Debs ,i had a lovely tea at my daughters , and yes probably S/D does feel a bit guilty , but i've just got to think she's hurting and going through the anger now so i'll let it drop . Helen its funny because i thought today its harder now than it was a few weeks ago , i just want to get back to how i was last week , dont want to keep slipping back but i supose thats what grief is ..

Lynne xxxxxxxxx