My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

FormerMember
FormerMember
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My husband - Chris - died on the 2nd May 2009 because he had anal cancer. He knew he was going and we spoke about lots and lots of things before he died. That is why I am just not prepared for the huge amount of guilt I feel now. I feel guilty that the world hasn't stopped turning round even though he has died. I feel like everything should stop as a mark of respect. I also feel very guilty that he had to be so ill he had to die. What a cruel cruel thing it is to make someone so ill their body just stops working. I wasn't ready for him to go. I really really hope these are normal feelings because I must hang on to my sanity for the sake of my 3 children. I have never known sadness like I feel right now. I can't believe that I will not hear his voice or feel his touch again. We were married for almost 32 years and I have known Chris for 34 years - since I was 16. What happens now? Ailsa

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    Dot, please take me to that shop NOW THIS MINUTE!!!
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    Night night Ailsa..........comforting ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))) xxxxxxxxx
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    I knew you'd be jealous!!!!!!
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    I'm signing off in a minute......too much excitement (sad life when visiting a cake/choc shop is exciting!!) for one day..............



    Love and comforting (((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))) to you all



    Dot xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    Night all, sleep well xxx
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    Hi Everyone ,
    Just catching up in all the post i had loads to read, i am still looking after my dad so not had a lot of time, but i have had a few laughs. I think its a great idea to meet up. I have had a weepy day as well Kim came in this morning and was in tears she say's she misses her dad so much so that started me off. I think her hormones are all over the place with having the baby just hope she is ok when baby arrives as just going to come near her dad's anniversary. Our day was not too bad here dry all day for once but think to be wet tomorrow. Well i better get off to bed as i am shattered i hope you all sleep well and i hope to speak again soon.
    Take Care
    Fiona xxxxxxx
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    Did somebody mention chocolate!!!!
    Everyone just left we have been playing tennis on the Wii I am shattered,
    Tried a couple of glasses of wine but just started weeping so back on the orange juice,
    Good night team looks like I am the only one on the night shift tonight,,,,
    xxxx kaz
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Morning All , hope your all more rested this morning , tiredness seemed the order of the day yesterday , i was shattered last night but l'm like you Ailsa once i'm awake im up .
    Sue and Helen have you got a full week back at work now ? , you've been spoilt 6 weeks ??? i supose onece your back it will be like you'venever been of , i dont feel like i'd been off at all .
    Fiona i'm sure your daughter will be fine once the baby arrives they really do keep you going , my little ones are all coming round today for lunch (chaos again) but i dont know how i'd got through this without them (and everybody else )
    Gayle hope your looking after yourself aswell as yoyr dad . Fottee your amazing but you really must learn to share , i knew Kaz wouldn't be far away if choclate was mentioned ha ha .

    Are you on the night shift permanant Trisha , i once did a night shift i was like a zombie most of the time , not much of a change really for me lol ..

    I'm going to try and get a bit more of the garden done this morning before i start doing lunch for everyone , but i can never resist coming on here and checking up on you all ,. Have a good day everyone .



    Lynnexxxxxxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi everyone. Just thought I would pop on and check in before getting started on the days work. Been up a while but trying to catch up on stuff I sky+'d months ago. I have managed a couple of episodes of casualty this morning but now I need to get off to the cemetery and the supermarket. I am expecting my son and youngest daughter this afternoon. Will be nice to have company.

    I will have to remember the coffee morning thing for next year if poss Dot. I recently volunteered to be the treasurer for the local village watch. It hasn't really got off the ground yet but apparently the plan is to do a lot of fundraising that pulls the village together. Cancer charities are going to be the target for the money raised. It is too late to do anything about this years macmillan coffee morning but maybe next year.

    Morning Kaz - guitar hero is the current favourite on our wii although we were playing pool the other night as well. Friday seems to be wii night in my house. I am going to get on the wii fit during the week to see if it helps my back.

    Good luck with the gardening today Lynne.

    Has anyone else got things planned today or are we resting up before work tomorrow? Ailsa xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    Morning everyone.

    Yes Lynne full week for me now!!! Nothing planned here, still so tired!! Might go to the gym and see if that helps??? Need to give myself a shake, feel so flat!!

    Sorry for moaning everyone, it`s also 4 months today since Paul died and our wedding anniversary is coming up so not sure if it`s a combination of the two?

    Have a good everyone

    Helen xxx