My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Hello team.. Sorry have been away just been so busy. Trying to study and been dancing tonight. Had friends round all day and just dont seem to get a second on the computor any more.. Then cause you chat so much it takes me ages to catch up on all the news!
Hello Debs welcome to this wonderful team of ladies (oh and Kev) We have good days and bad days but between us we seem to be getting through....
Sue I dont know where you are but hope it goes ok tommorow will be thinking of you....
lots and lots of love to anybody still on here kaz xxxxxxxxxx

I'm right here, hon. Been to pub quiz AGAIN tonight and just fallen into bed with laptop. thanks for good wishes - I'm sure it will be fine once I get going.
debs, hi, and welcome to the thread. 'support city', that's us! so sorry for your loss; it's a bugger, isn't it.
You've come to the right place ; they're a fantastic group of people her.
lynne, well done for going up the loft ladder - I've been banned from ladders ever since i fell off a table at school some years ago and ended up black and blue with bruises! So i only go up them when there's no-one around to nag me................
helen, good luck for tomorrow; will compare notes later.
everyone - we are allowed weepy days, none of us are very far along our journey and we need to go with the flow, so let's try to remember that and not get too stressed about having a down day or two or three
Sleep tight, all you lovely people.
sue x

Goodnight guys catch you in the morning..xxxkaz xx

Hi Everyone,
Just catching up with all the posts, Hi Debs thinking of you at this sad time we all know what you are going through this site has been a life line to me since i lost my husband and i think of them all now as good friends. Keep posting and we will all support you. Helen and Sue hope work goes ok for you tomorrow our schools been back for a few weeks now so Kim has got back into the swing of things. I am off work tomorrow but got dentists (got an appointment at long last) then go and see to my dad thats my sisters first week in on holiday so one to go it makes me realise how much she does for my dad too. Just been on facebook i seem to spend more and more time on laptop. Derek never complained either when he was not well he kept saying he was fine but suppose he was putting a brave face on for all of us, you do go over things all the time but he would want me to get on with my life to (although very very hard) Well better get off to bed now, hope everyone else ok speak soon.
Take Care
Fiona xxxxxxx

night night xxxxxxx

Debs welcome to the thread. So sorry for your very sad loss. I am much further down the line than you but still find that I cry constantly. The people on here are amazing and hearing their tales makes you realise that you are not alone.
I have just dropped i n during my break at work so yu are probably all in bed and trying to sleep. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you all.
Love and angel hugs x x Patricia x x

morning all , juat a quick one to wish the workers a good day back at work , i'm actually dreading the kids going back to school it makes our job a lot easier when the roads are quieter , so i say make the hollidays longer (sorry young mums )
I'm hoping the rain will stop so i can get in the garden later , i'm desperate to do more , agh dam rain ..
Catch you all later , hope you have a good day ..

Lynnexxxxxxx

Morning everyone
Thank you so much for all your kind words. It is a difficult morning today as girls have gone back to school so the house is even quieter. Finding it hard to find things to do there is only so much cleaning you can do!! If I keep busy then I don't feel too bad it is when there is nothing to do that my mind is consumed with my loss. But I do have one job to do today as must go car hunting, I had to take our motability car back yesterday, a sad time because Liam loved that car. Now I must go it alone and find a car havn't a clue about cars tend to pick on looks, typical woman eh!!! wish Liam was here to help me so much.
Debs x

Hi Debs,

I can understand how you feel about the loneliness now your kids are at school. How old are they? The only way I combat that is to keep busy. Sometimes keep myself too busy and end up exhausted but it is better than the alternative. When my husband died I scrubbed the house from top to bottom and cleared out all the kids old stuff and sent it off to the hospice shop. Now like Fiona I spend most of my time online or working. I can sympathise about the car - I just had to buy a new car at the weekend as my husband's car is going back soon which he too adored and reminds me of him every time I drive it. I am dreading the day they come for it but just keep reminding myself its just a car. The first garage was torture and made me want to go home but every other garage after that (and there were a few!) were all lovely and very helpful. I would recommend taking someone with you or if there isn't anyone you can then make sure you go to a big reputable garage as they are less likely to rip you off and you will have some comeback if there is anything wrong.

Take care and remember we are all here if you feel lonely - there is usually someone about.

Fiona - you will need to add us all as friends on Facebook so that we can compare photos etc. There are a few of us now on it.

Gayle xx

Hi Gayle
Thanks for the advice, I took my dad with me not that he has much more of a clue on cars than me but two of you against the dreaded car salesman is better than one!! Anyway I think I have narrowed it down to about three cars time to sleep on it now. It was a nightmare like you say at first, especially as they do ask questions as to why you haven't got a car at the moment, so have to keep going over everything. My girls are 11 and 13, it was the youngest ones first day at secondary school today she looked so smart and grown up going off. They have both been absolutely brilliant, it has been an awful summer holiday for them. They spent a lot of it at my dads so I could spend all the time I could with Liam at the hospital then hospice. I felt awful because it was like I was abandoning them but they were great and wouldn't have had it any other way. They have been through so much with LIams illness and their nan my mum who they were very close to died last year. They also found out their dads dad has terminal lung cancer a few weeks ago. So much sadness for them but they seem to take it in their stride and are a fantastic support to me.
As to cleaning the house there is so little to do we only moved into it in April so had a really good sort out before we moved. Although really looking forward to getting all of Liams equipment taken away, have been asking for nearlly 4 weeks now(since we knew he would never come home), his bed, lifting equipment, commode , rotunder and trolley are all still sat in the front room, so it is such a reminder as to what his life had become, will be glad when it is gone as it might be easier to remember happier times.
Debs x