My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Hi Debs

Sorry you have to join us on here xxx I think like Lynne says I have decided only I can answer and live with my questions. I have asked for answers but not really got them. This thread/site has helped me so much and others have said the same. Keep posting and we can help each other. Just take a day at a time and don`t expect too much of yourself xxx

Lynne I hope they are and looking out for us and watching us laughing at the daft things we do!!!! xxxx

Just wondering if Ailsa has stuck the camping out in this awful weather?? She`s probably in a B & B!!!

Helen xxx

Lynne, choosing the casket wasn`t too bad. I had Liam and Nat with me so they chose really xxx Not sure about the day they bury the ashes, someone told me they found that harder than the funeral but like you say another step forward xxx

Helenxx

Evening everyone,

Feeling pretty down myself today for no big reason just really missing Wully. I would give my right arm just to talk to him again. I was thinking about the funeral yesterday and today so I think that probably has been what has brought it back to be honest. What a horrible sad day that was. Why do we torture ourselves by dwelling on the bad things? I suppose it is probably just the grief process we have to go through. I know what you mean Helen about trying to be "ok". I keep reminding myself that Wully fought so hard to be alive and he too worried about us before he died so I know I owe it to him to be strong and not sit and cry everyday but like you say it is just so hard at times. You can feel it bubbling away and then it just erupts every so often. I am glad you picked the casket. I am sure it wasn't easy but like Lynne says it is another baby step along the journey. I hope it goes okay at school tomorrow (and for you Sue). Hugs to you Lynne, Fiona, Dot, Ailsa, Kev and Tricia.

Gentle welcome to Debs. I am so sorry for your loss and we can all understand the overwhelming grief you are feeling at the moment. All the people on this thread have been a great support for me so I hope you feel you can vent your frustrations here and hopefully we will help just a little. Be gentle with yourself.

Gayle xx

Gayle I know what you mean about thinking things over then getting upset!! I have to stop myself sometimes because you could just end up in a big hole couldn`t you? But like you say it must all be part of the process xxxx

Hi Gayle , i hope you have a better day tommorow , as i'm driving most of the day thats when i do my thinking and thats when the tears start , i think will i ever get thriugh a day without crying several times butg like you and Helen i owe it to my husband to carry on , he loved life and he wouldn't want me to waste mine but i'm sure he;ll allow me an occasanal blow out .
I'm fed up with this rain i'm desperate to get my little memorial garden done but i've got no chance at the min . Helen yes i'm sure they've laughed at us a few times , i know he wouldn't have been pleased with me going up the loft tonight , he never trusted me on the ladder , but i did it i just couldn't get the ladder back up , thank god my sons live close by .
Whereis everybody ? how are you all ?

Lynne xxxx

Thanks to everyone for your welcome
It is such a help knowing that I am not alone at the moment and that others are feeling exactly the same as me. Sometimes I feel so stupid for crying all the time as I know Liam hated people feeling sorry for themselves. He was so strong and never once complained about all he had to endure.
Debs x

Debs I think we were probably stronger while they needed us, I know I was. Don`t get me wrong I still had my tears with Paul but nothing like I do now.Like your Liam Paul coped so well with everything thrown at him. We`re allowed to cry, we need to and I think it helps

Sending you a hug ((((())))))

Helen xxx

Debs i can only echo what Helen has said , hun you take care xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Debs, know how you are feeling, hope you get the support you need from this thread. xx

Hope you are all ok and have a good day tomorrow and well done for getting thro today. x