My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Dear Coral
Well done for doing the food shopping - next time will be a bit easier. If you really can't face it, you could always do it online and have it delivered.
Wine tasting sounds good - I'm surprised you were only a bit tipsy and not under the table!
Have as good day as you can, and seee you back here later.
sue xx

Morning everyonx

Coral I did my shopping online for weeks!! Only just started going to the supermarket the last couple of weeks so well done!!! I like your research!! Might have to give it a try! Children keep us going don`t they? Son is in and out, with the friends and working but daughter is here much more so the house is very quiet when she`s not here. Good luck with the shoes shopping.

No D.I.Y today, going to the gym with daughter and her friend and we might have a swim then out for a meal with friends tonight.

Got an e mail from my brother last night, he lives miles away from me in Southampton but he`s actually working away for 2 years (in St Helena in the middle of the South atlantic ocean!) He gets leave in December so they asked if they (my brother, his wife, 6 year old nephew and 3 year old niece) could spend xmas with us?? Of course they can!!! We`ve been out for xmas dinner last couple of years, just our family and Paul`s mum and dad (brother and wife used to come before their children were born) so wasn`t sure what we`d be doing this year, hadn`t thought about it to be honest as I`m dreading it!! So hopefully it will make it bit easier having little ones here and some company on Xmas Eve!! Paul`s mum and dad will come too as always xxx

Hi All , Yes Sue the pups behaved , i'm quite pleased now with what i've done with them , one has Gordons watch on which i bought him for our engagement and the other has my gold chain on, which was the first one he bought me , i wear a gold locket which i bought after i'd lost him and its got our wedding photo in and a lock of his hair . The dogs are in my bedroom . i'm going to put tubs and a water feature , i've bought some solar lights too , i'm also going to buy a one seater bench to put there . I'm looking for a solar water feature so i haven't got to bother with fitting and things , i cant wait to get started . I also ordered a corner trellis thing last night from argos to fill a corner and then i can put plants in that too . I will take photos when its done ..
HI Coral the wine tasting sounds good , you can always find someone to go with you , mind i will have to fight Helen and Sue for that spot . I hate shopping on my own but it has to be done , i usually come out with everything i dont need , (not food ) and then have nothing to eat , oh well it wont hurt me ..
have a good day Helen , gym and a meal sounds good .. I'm glad your brother is coming for christmas , i am dreading it too , cant bear to think about it ..
Hi Dottee , hope you have a good weekend too ..
A big Hi to everybody else , i'm sure everybody will be popping in and out through the day .

Lynne xxxxx

Hello ladies,

Well I got a new car today. It is really nice so quite pleased. Not as excited as I should be but I suppose that is just the situation and not much excites me at the moment. Got quite a good deal and pick it up on Wednesday.

Hi Fiona, I can't imagine the strain of looking after your father. Like someone says it takes all your effort to look after yourself at the moment. At least it is keeping you busy and tired at the moment which often is the only relief I can get at the moment.

Helen, hope you enjoy the gym and meal out and your day tomorrow. We don't get the bank holiday here so work for me and two horrible meetings at work so I will think of you whilst I am listening to boring clients :-)

Lynne, your garden is sounding brilliant. Some friends of mine want to buy a tree for Wully but I will wait until I move house before I do anything. We did a lot in the garden we have now but luckily some things are in tubs so I will take them with us. Wully even built a deck and steps etc in the garden a few years ago (even after his big surgery) so the garden here is lovely so will be sad to leave it although it will be nice to plan a new garden as I know what Wully liked so I can create something we would both like.

Coral, don't beat yourself up about the shopping. I too did mine online up until last week. I had popped into the supermarket but never to buy a shopping as my head just wouldn't have stayed sane and I would just have came out with a load of rubbish too. It will get easier as I have now done 2 shops and the 2nd one wasn't as bad apart from keeping meeting people you know.

Christmas will be hard for all of us. I am glad you are going to have company and hopefully that will make it a bit easier Helen. I am not sure what we will do. I am really hoping I am in a new house as I think that may make it a bit easier. Wully was in hospital last year right up to Christmas Eve and we didn't think he would be home which was horrendous. But luckily he was but it wasn't our usual Christmas so maybe that was a little softener to make this one a bit easier as I don't have great memories of last year. All the things we did leading up to Christmas normally, we didn't do last year - I had to pick the tree on my own whereas normally we went as a family and I had to do all the wrapping which normally Wully did. Maybe it was to make life easier this year?? Who knows.

Tricia, Sue and the others - hope your Sunday was okay.

Gayle xx

oOooooooooH, Gayle!
so glad you got it sorted;Alans car was also his prid and joy, so I shall do all i can to keep it.
Sue x

Glad you sorted a car Gayle. I`ll have to get some enthusiasm to go and look.

My christmas was different last year too, with Paul having the cancer in his neck and throat he was on a liquid only diet but bless him he sat in the restaurant while we all ate. He didn`t want us to miss out but it was hard, we still had a good day and he even said he was surprised that he enjoyed it more than he anticipated but not the same xxx

I picked up the tree alone too, tried to get the festive spirit but not quite the same. I still wouldn`t have dreamt it was to be his last Christmas though!!! He thought it might have been! I just tried to be positive xxx

Anyway a quick one ladies as I`m getting picked up at 8. Had a good workout at the gym, it ended up being me and daughter with her 2 friends but it was good and we went swimming too, managed a few lengths.

Have a good night everyone, sorry you`re working tomorrow Gayle. I`ll be back soon, where has the 6 weeks gone? Funny really seeing as I was dreading have so long off. Things must be changing in my head??

Bye for now

Helen xxx

This is a pic of the car (not the actual one but the exact same) :

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So I think I could become a boy racer !!!

What a funny pic Sue!

Have a nice meal Helen. I am off to catch up on paperwork and work. The joy!

Gayle xx

Wow!
Go, Gayle!!!
You just need very loud music, a spoiler on the back and a reversed baseball cap and you're away!
Sue x

Christmas seems so long off but it isnt is it? Glad you are having company Helen, all the bustle will maybe make it a little less bitter sweet. It certainly strikes a cord with all of us. Children just take over the season with excitement thankfully. Hope it doesnt snow, then your gardens will be able to be viewed clearly. Enough of Christmas for me, 4 months away. I need to get past next week yet !!
We bought a new car in July and it was delivered on the day John was taken into hospital. He has only seen a photo of it. I do feel tinges of guilt every time I drive it but push that away or I wouldnt go anywhere. Hope you enjoy whateverncar you have Gayle. Drive safely.
Hope your pups are house trained Lynne,
You must be totally exhausted constantly Fiona. Hope you do find a little time for you.
Hope you all have done something good today. I am giving the wine a miss tonight, I think that I may have been a little more tipsy than I thought....
x

Hi guys sorry I have missed you all day. Some of my friends have been keeping me busy. Went to a dance last night, danced for hours. Then been watching rugby all afternoon. Hope your all ok..
Love the car Gayle. lots of love and kisses xxxxx kaz xxx