My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Its crap isn't it , we didn't ask for this to happen did we ..
I'm going to bed now Helen i'm so used to going to bed early and getting up early i cant keep my eyes open . Hope you sleep well . Speak tommorow ..

Night all

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Hi Everyone,
Just catching up with all the post, i had a lot to catch up with i am busy looking after my dad just now so running in and out all the time not long back in from seeing him to bed out again in morning my sisiter just stays across the road from him and she usually sees to him but she is on a fortnights holidays but she deserves the break. I stayed with him last night but can't do it all the time as he would get use to the company mind you so would i (hate being on my own) Sat also the worst for me as Derek worked six days a week and a Sat night was the ony night he didn't need to go to bed early. (o i wish those days were back) I have watched the x factor tonight had a wee cry when man was on and said about his brother dying of lung cancer brings it all back to me. Hope you all have a nice day tomorrow and bank holiday Mon as well think of me in Scotland working no holiday for me.

Morning all , see i have to go to ber early but i cant stay in it oh well , i've still yet to decide wether its BBq weather or not .
Hi Fiona , it is a strain when you have parents to look after aswell even when you dont even feel like looking after yourself . Me and my 2 sisters (with dad ) nursed my mum before she passed away 16 months ago , We all moved in for the last few days with her , (not easy in a small bungalow ) but she wanted to be at home and although it was hard i'm glad we did it now . But all through doing that i knew my husband was ill (we didn't know we'd lose him 15 months after tho ) and just after my dad had to have major op for oral cancer , we couldnt believe we had to start doing it all again so soon . But dad was a little bit more demanding (still is ) Mum would always say "haven't you got something else to do " and we would tell her we was on days off or holidays . Dad just wants us there all the time but we try and be patient with him , he's still grieving too and faced a major op (oh he had heart attack whilst he was recovering just to really torture him ) Although he's okish now we still have to spend a lot of time with him , even tho my brother still lives with him , he's always rely'ed on us 3 girls . I did obviously have to back off in Gordons last couple of weeks but i soon had to get back to the almost daily visits which is a big strain . Oh well thats my daily moan i'd be moaning if he wasn't here , and i know he does feel guilty that he is still here at 81 when Gordon lost his life at 52 , but we tell him that by him not being here it wouldn't bring Gordon back or my mum . Isn't life a stinker ? I hope you cope ok whilst your sister is away .

Trisha , you'll be busy with the diy aswell , we've got a club going now for the "lady DIY's " Helen Sue Kaz and i are in it , all been doing jobs we wouldn't normally have to do , so good luck with yours . Enjoy your party ..

Hi to everybody else , pray for a bit of sunshine please i'd rather be outside today , plus i can get the boys to do the heavy work in the garden so i can start my bit ..

Speak later

Lynne xxxxx