My husband - Chris - died on the 2nd May 2009 because he had anal cancer. He knew he was going and we spoke about lots and lots of things before he died. That is why I am just not prepared for the huge amount of guilt I feel now. I feel guilty that the world hasn't stopped turning round even though he has died. I feel like everything should stop as a mark of respect. I also feel very guilty that he had to be so ill he had to die. What a cruel cruel thing it is to make someone so ill their body just stops working. I wasn't ready for him to go. I really really hope these are normal feelings because I must hang on to my sanity for the sake of my 3 children. I have never known sadness like I feel right now. I can't believe that I will not hear his voice or feel his touch again. We were married for almost 32 years and I have known Chris for 34 years - since I was 16. What happens now? Ailsa
Thats it exhausted.. Painted part of the fence but I am done now.
Hi Everyone,
Just catching up on the post, wish you would send me some of your good weather i am sitting here looking out at rain makes it harder not being able to get out so i suppose it will just have to be housework ( do you mind me sending you my washing as i certainly will not get it dryed here today) Well last night i was out for a meal, my boss was down at the shop yesterday he is the son of the other woman i work with so they invited me to go out with them so it was very nice of them and i ended back at at there place and had a couple of wines not like me but i did enjoy it although felt it being on my own but what can i do, had a few tears when i came home. Lynne glad all went well for you yesterday. Galye glad birthday party went ok as well. Helen glad your wedding went ok. Sue i am going to have another go at sendind a photo you are so good at it. Kaz hope you enjoy your walk with the dogs you would need your raincoat on here to take them. Kev you ok? Well will go now as Kim just came in so we will have a coffee. Speak soon.
Take Care
Fiona xxxxxxxxxx
