My husband passed last Saturday - I'm lost

I've started to call most of mine a wildlife garden, I've never been one for manicured perfection but Id probably settle for a happy medium. 

I’ve just potted a couple of large geranium’s, of vivid pinks and cerise for my darling. I shall take them tomorrow. 

Oh thats lovely Kate. Tony didnt care much for flowers, I do! He preferred shrubs and trees.

That’s men for you. I had to buy my own flowers, and get my Paul to pretend he had got them. It was hysterical. I am a terrible romantic, so it worked for me. He always came back with horrible artificial colours. He was colour blind, so at least there was a reason. 

I have done no-mow May (and probably April as well) so it's a bit wild at the moment. 

My husband would come back with flowers from the Co-op but because he knew I was careful with money, he would always reassure me that he'd only bought flowers that had been reduced. 

Me, too. Lots of daisies and fairy stems. As we know, it helps the bees and butterflies.

I had to stop the hedgehogs coming in which was a shame as I love to see them. But the dogs are fascinated by them. One of my sons dogs think they are a ball when they curl up. Poor things are terrified. Even though my Mum's garden is open to the avenue at the front ,she gets a fox coming through and into everyone else's gardens looking for food. I fed her when I stayed over last time. She has two young cubs to feed. They were playing in a neighbours garden . They sent Mum a lovely video of them. There is a large wood at the edge of the avenue ,You would think there will be rabbits etc. for them to catch. Though I hate the thought of them eating them. No different from us eating meat though. We don't eat very much meat at all anymore. Our youngest son is a Vegetarian and so I practically am now.  Well it doesn't look like the Building supplies are going to turn up this evening . I thought it was rather quick after I only ordered the stuff yesterday. 

It was a rare thing for my Hubby to buy me flowers. He used to get me a lovely bunch for our Anniversary sometimes. So I started buying my own if I saw some I liked. He would usually buy me chocolate if he happened to go to a shop. He knew how much I liked my chocolate fix. My Sister often buys me roses . She buys herself flowers nearly every week ,or whenever the last ones have wilted. I bought a lovely Calla lily yesterday ,so I will give her the plant tomorrow. Her miserable Husband never buys her any. She's Lucky if she even gets a Birthday present or a card from him.  

Its badgers we get, never see them but they dig up pieces of lawn.

We never did birthday presents, usually just a card and a meal. I bought myself plants, as Tony thought flowers were a waste of money. So when he died, my friend did the flowers for his coffin, and she firaged for most of them. 

A friend of mine does those food waste collections, you know where the supermarkets give away food they cant sell but which is still ok. Her deliveries often include flowers so she often brings me some. The latest was 2 huge bunches of red roses. I can honestly say Ive had more flowers from her than I did in the 38 years we lived together. May as well enjoy them for a few days and keep them from landfill. 

I waited in all day fir my pond liner which came about an hour ago despite expecting it yesterday.