Sudden lows

I think that is the problem, when I’m reading other people’s stories about the end of life most people make it sound like it was all rosey & happy with no regrets, thank you for being honest, as you say no relationship is perfect. The terrible ending was due to his pain & illness, (he was never really unkind before) & my feeling of utter hopelessness at not being able to help him.  I just wish as we all do we could have that we could have that one last ‘I love you’ whilst holding hands & they drift off into a beautiful sleep but of course real life is sometimes cold & ugly & death can never really be beautiful. I am glad he’s not here suffering anymore but as you say it doesn’t make it better. Thank you again I don’t feel quite so alone now 

Did you go by yourself  ? I can imagine you thought Someone Special should have been in that seat next to you. I hope you did feel some sort of Joy watching and listening . It's awful coming back to an empty house. Gonna take some getting used to. x

Hi sorry, it's not Kate. I was by myself.  The second thing since. I didn't get a wet face like the first one. The stories and songs were good. It's just not having Sue to share it with. 14 months in and it's still hard.

Take care everyone. 

1. So sorry , I got mixed up after reading other's comments. It just seems as if the empty seat should have been Sue's . I'm coming up to a year shortly. This month has been very painful as I expected . Would have been 48 years married !st April . Then My Hubby's Birthday , My Mums tomorrow which I went to celebrate  last year , and shouldn't have because My Hubby became more ill. I should have stayed with him. My Birthday is also this month. He was ill all this Month. He didn't even know what day or date it was . All I can think of is that he was here with us this time last year . And then gone in May. So that's another month I'm dreading. Not that any of the last year has been good. I'm not up for going out except to yoga with my sister. I went to a Celine Dion  tribute concert after some persuasion from my sister , but it was torture . I cannot listen to music anymore , I just end up in tears . 14 months is not a long time to be grieving. I can't fathom how a whole year has passed without my Love here . I think of him and miss him constantly. And I can't imagine my future without him. It is the Worst thing I've ever been through.