Does time heal ?

Same here Breton

I have lived here for 30 odd years and there are neighbours who I speak to and there are some who have been here for as long as I have and I don't speak to them. I am very ` guarded' and just tell people what I want to tell them. A lot of the neighbours who were here when we first moved here have either gone or have moved away a lot of the older neighbours mainly. I had a neighbour who lived below me who I really bonded with but they emigrated to New Zealand and that hit me hard the successive neighbours have been ok but its just not the same somehow. The one on the other side is a `little hitler` he has 4 kids who are all grown and moved away but when growing up he singled my son out when there was trouble and he maybe even wasn't there when said incident occurred. I've had my run ins  with him on many occasions over the years.  He then stopped my son from playing in his back garden with his kids letting all the other ones my son played with play there and this really upset my son. He is one to bear grudges unfortunately and has never apologised or spoken to me in about 20 odd years but doesn't bother me didn't even acknowledge it when Jay passed when most of the other neighbours sent a card or flowers or passed on their condolences. Others round here have had run-ins with him too though and know what he's like. Takes all sorts.

xx

Oh! be glad that he ignores you Patty. I wish my immediate Vile neighbours had ignored me and left me alone. I could write a book on the events of the last 3 years before we eventually moved. I am a very easy going person , get on with most people ,but there is always someone to spoil things. I was warned about the people next door ,but at first they were Ok. A Hello was enough. Strange couple though. I never ,ever saw them have visitors from friends or family. Now I know why. She took a dislike to me as I was improving the house and garden which showed theirs up as they let theirs deteriorate . During one of her hour long rants She even said I was mental because I was always doing something. Anyway I have to put that Horrendous past  behind me. But I'm finding my next door neighbours aren't quite as nice as they seemed. Well for some reason the Woman has never even looked my way or spoke since the day we moved in. Doesn't bother me , Just one thing or the other Speak to me or don't. But her Husband was quite friendly. A few words here and there that's all. I have been cleaning my patio at the back and getting all the old grouting out which needs redoing. I found a thick root running from their tree right up to the extension at the back. I went to have a word with him . Warning that not just my house was at risk of foundations being damaged ,it would affect theirs. He's more bothered about the Bloody tree that has been there for 40 years. Surely it's not just me who thinks the house is more important. So he's doing nothing about it. In fact when I was digging it out and cutting it back. He came to the fence and said "We have a rose bush on this side of the fence . I said I didn't care about the rose. And I couldn't understand why he wasn't concerned about the roots. Well I will be avoiding any conversation with him now. Obviously another weird couple. I will be keeping myself ,to myself in future . I just want a peaceful life. 

Oh dear Bretton! Not just me then. As the saying goes `you can buy your house, but can't buy your neighbours`. I was all for moving before Jay passed but as I've said here he said to me why would you want to do that as the house is paid off. Once I got my head straight though I sort of looked at it and everything he said to me made sense even in his final days. Firstly financially I wouldn't be able to afford it. I'm in my 60's so getting a mortgage would be a lot harder for me now and the only other option would be to rent and rent can be just as expensive as mortgages now. My house is not a `palace` but it's mine and I too can get a bit envious when I see other people doing things to their houses when I think that is something Jay and I wanted to do but with losing a chunk of income for me I see those plans getting further away now. What it is with `tree lovers`?? I don't get that. We had a neighbour across from us who was like that one of the neighbours said it was blocking out the daylight to their house and wanted rid of it but they insisted they `liked the tree`. I have a tree just over my back fence and its a nuisance when it is in full bloom in the summer I get lots of greenfly on my washing and sometimes pigeon poop because the pigeons congregate in it. It belongs to the people over the back but good on them they periodically get professional tree fellers in to cut it down a bit now and again and I get more light into the back of my house too. Its 4 in a block flats I live in and if something needs done outside the home like the building it has to be a two way decision and if one disagrees your stumped. Any building work has to be decided between the two houses so if I need a roof repair for example (as I am the upstairs) my neighbour below needs to contribute as it forms part of the building on one side. The things us owners need to contend with

It is very expensive moving house patty. Especially when you have to pay someone to sort out the Probate ,which We had already started ,but there had been a survivors clause put in the on the deeds by the Estate Agents we bought through And I had to get that done through the courts . I was told it would only be a few --- the bloke didn't actually finish that sentence and me being  naive  thought oh! A few hundred.. Nope it was over £3,000 . The Surveyors and Solicitors to pay + Cremation. And having to move into an Air B&B so I didn't lose my Buyer. And Household removals . All adds up and almost emptied our meagre savings pot. On top of all that the loss of my Husbands Pension and disability payment. I am stuck here in a House that needs a lot of work. Which I cannot afford to have done. Only capable of decorating and gardening to save money. I will just stay clear if the neighbours next door. My elder son has the right idea/ dream. Go live in a remote place and off grid . Sometimes I wish I were .I did have some good neighbours at the last house . It was only them next door that ruined life for everyone else .  That's difficult having to get agreement of everyone to get anything done. A friend who had to move after her Husband's Death lives in a similar block like you. But is renting from the council. We had to rent in a rough area when we were first married until we exchanged contracts on our first house

 But yes it's expensive and dead money. And not yours to do as you like. I hope you have no trouble with neighbours now. We need the peace . I wish I had peace in my head. That would be even better. 

My neighbours are ok Bretton the majority keep themselves to themselves and thats fine by me. Many as I said have been here quite a few years and William (my son) grew up with many of the kids who were here and have also flown the nest now. As with major renovations think many round here are just a law unto themselves seems if the ones on the bottom want to put in a patio door to the back of their house planning permission is required as in if the ones upstairs want to put in a loft conversion or skylight window but I know of a few round here who have bypassed all the planning permission as seemingly all 4 neighbours in the block need to agree and if you have sh*t neighbours who just want to be awkward then you're up sh*t creek. Think that's why many just go about doing it anyway.

I am the tree lover but hope my trees dont cause any trouble. We had a big silver birch removed as it was too close the house ( anything less than 30ft for a grown tree is too cluse). We also had 13 quite big conifers taken out that divided us from the neighbours, we couldnt believe how much more light we had.  The other trees get a regular hair cut from a tree surgeon except this enormous conifer at the bottom of the garden that is a real land mark. Sadly it provides shelter from the summer sun and reduces the wind across the fields. I was quoted about 3k to have it taken out so for now its staying.

I am lucky that I can stay put and I have no intention of moving, it was our forever home and it will remain so unless I have to at some point go into care. I have nice neighbours, but have had rhe neighbours from hell previously and would not want to go through that again. 

Soliciters are so expebsive. I did all the probate etc myself but needed the soliciter to do the house transfer as we were tenants in common so Tonys daughters inherit his share of the house in trust, and that likely to be around £1500.

There is so much in the garden that Tony made, beds, planters, shed, it nakes me sad when I see bits starting to rot and I dont have any skills. 

Each to their own on the tree thing Malengwa I just don't see the use of trees other that they block out light like you say if too close to a house. But if you like trees well that's up to you. Yes I'm just staying put as well as I've unfortunately no other option but at least I can say I have a roof over my head which a lot don't have so I have that to be thankful for at least. So It's all the cliches for me of `put up and shut up` and `make do and mend`. Think we've all had `the neighbours from hell` at one point but the good thing is they eventually leave and then you get peace. I'm too old now to get into conflicts with neighbours. The walls in these houses are so thin and you can just about hear everything- and I mean everything doors slamming and your walls or floor vibrates. My neighbours below me have a teenage daughter and she slammed their door so hard one time in a temper our TV started shaking with the vibration coming up through the floor but the girl has autism so we allowed for that. As i said it takes all kinds. 

xx

I like trees myself,so long as they don't cause problems for either us or anyone else. We paid for someone to cut down a long row of conifers at the last house. And when I said to previous neighbours . You will be able to see the view right across the loch now. We had a beautiful view. She looked at me as if I was stupid. I lived to regret getting them cut lower so I could manage them. She started cutting them so they were practically bare and my dogs could escape into their garden and out onto the road as she had no gates. So I had to build a wall. . Then she carried on until there was nothing left. And threw all the lot over the wall ,so I had to take it all to the tip. Now I know why the previous owners had them planted and moved after only 2 years. That was only the start of the troubles. She started pulling my plants out. And throwing stuff in the garden and pond I had made. Abuse every day. and so on . I had a quiet word with the man next door about the roots coming through . and to warn him about his own foundations ,but he's more bothered about the tree which is only about 6 foot from the house. This is supposed be my last house as we thought the last one was. I will just have to cut back and dig out the roots of that tree as far as possible when I do something with the back garden. I will just keep myself to myself now and not say anything to the neighbours. I can do without trouble again. 

Breton, I feel for you, its not nice having poor neighbours. My one side are lovely rhey put my bins out and we share produce. The other side just have a huge bonfire come wild party about twice a year but i think I can live with that.

I have managed to weed my veg beds ready for green manure and plant some seeds so Im feeling quite pleased with myself. 

I am trying to put the past experience with our Vile neighbours out of my thoughts, but they keep creeping back in. It's just the problem with these roots coming through to my garden and reaching the house (and they are big . 2 inch diameter thick ) and the neighbour not taking it seriously has brought a lot of the upset back. I will just have to sort it out on my side . I will be removing all the pebbles when the weather gets better I will be digging the ground over and decide whether to put astro turf or real turf down. If there are more roots under the surface I will take them right back. And just not bother with the neighbours .                                                                      Well done on getting your veg , beds weed free and prepared for planting. I don't have the space to grow veg. I will put some seed Potatoes  in bags . I have seeds to use . Hopefully we will get some good weather and can get outside . It helps to be in contact with nature .