Hugs

Thanks spirit for rhe hug and one coming right back.

. We werent people who did anything special today, Tony hated the commercialisation, but its hard to miss all the stuff in the shops, and on the radio this morning. Yes, isolated and often scared, completely agree.

Ive been quite teary this week. Yesterday i went to our local bereavement group, and sobbed through most of it. The volunteers who run it are lovely, very astute when someone has a wobble, but these episodes are just so exhausting. 

I've had a bad week too. I've decided to donate the car to a charity, as I don't drive (big regret now) and they were meant to come Wed but didn't turn up. It took a lot to get myself geared up to see it go, now I have to wait til next week. Crying is exhausting, I still find myself sobbing most days. I went out last night, to a quiz night, but it was hard staying cheerful and I think it's just too soon to pretend to be normal. This is the only place I feel understood, thank goodness for all the people here. 

Completely. I dont drive either and just navigating bus or taxi is also exhausting. Yeah online shopping exists but I dont spend £40 often and prefer to pick my own veg etc. 

But i can relate to the waiting in, i had a complete meltdown when tonys hospital bed went, it had taken 3 months to pick the phone up, then they didnt come until 4pm. 

Hi Spirit, I decided to visit my darling’s grave today, and plant some colourful primroses. I chose cream and yellow shades, as they were his favourite. I also spent time chatting to him, tidying his grave and enjoying nature. I saw two robins, snow drops, daffodils and rose bushes starting to bud. I am very fortunate as it is a medieval church, within the Sussex Downs. The surrounding countryside is stunning, and I am only 10 minutes from home. We didn’t really do Valentine’s Day, as we thought that love every day was more important than one particular day. I cried, (as I do every time) but it felt natural and peaceful. I shall sleep well tonight. Hugs to all. Kate. xxx

Hugs right back at ya Spirit!

Yes you're so right days like today seem to feel it is all about couples. As with birthdays we never really bothered with Valentines day but would always get one another a card it was the time we used to rip the piss out of each other though but in a good way. As Jays birthday was 2 days previous he would say don't get me anything for Valentines because I'd get him loads  for his birthday and he would say we will just get each other cards. So I would turn up with a bog standard Valentines card and he would appear with the chocolates huge card and flowers and then look at my card in `fake disgust` as if to say is that it! and I would just collapse in fits of laughter because I knew he was pulling my leg. The he would sit his huge card next to my scootery little small one and come out with something like `lovely big card that` who sent you it? and then would say `oh that's right it was me` which would set me off in fits of laughter again. He always was a big of prankster and that I miss a lot. 

xx

Malengwa when Jay passed I remember it was the Monday after he passed I decided to get rid of all his walking aids etc his zimmer, rolator, bed guard and shower seat plus a wheelchair all given to us through social services. I think I was just running on adrenaline then and just wanted rid. We hoped to get some use out of the wheelchair even though he became bedridden but never did. I still have a grab rail at the top of the stairs and the handrail going up the stairs that got fitted for him. We fitted our own handrail several years ago but social services thought we could do with another on the other side so we had double handrails. I still have rails outside the front door still there but they set the two front steps off and are fixed on to the steps so they have stayed plus most of these rails are fixed to the wall so thats why they stay there. Social services were quite quick though at coming to take these things away though.

Hugs to everyone

Take care 

Well, most of you know that it was my beautiful Valen’s birthday on Valentines Day - hence his name. 
This is the 2nd without him and it was harder than the first. The first he had been gone only 5 months and it was all a blur. 
As most of you know it was our wedding anniversary on the 12th. 
So we would always be away and go out on the 13th, bridging the 2 days. 

It has been very hard to function and motivate this week. 
Im ok in company, but on my own, in this new deep, unnerving silence, I just cry. 
On the 12th I went to my watercolour class which was really good. 
Today was nice enough to go for a 2 hour walk then our cafe to be with our friends. 
At one point there was a quiet moment. 
One of our friends said, out of nowhere, “Valen was such a lovely man. I don’t think I will ever forget his kindness to me”. 
She then went on to explain how he had helped her. I never knew, nor did our friends who were present. 
Then they all (4 of them), talked about how he had helped them in some way. 

It was a beautiful, spontaneous moment with tears and laughter. 
Then we moved onto another subject. 
Of course, as soon as I got home I had a wail. 
But I do feel like I will sleep better. When I eventually drop off.

So hugs to all from e as well xx

MrsVT, 

I am so glad, you get to talk about your wonderful Valen with people,  who knew him. That must bring you some peace.

I hope you are ok after these last few days. 

Take care 

How lovely to have friends sharing their memories of him. It's so much harder when people refuse to talk about them or even mention their name. I hope it helped you to hear their stories, you've had a difficult time. Thankyou for sharing x