Christmas

Hi SpiritintheSky ,

First to say - I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm not part of this particular forum but I wanted to reach out to offer some support having lost a daughter 2.5 years ago I know how difficult this time can be.

You need to do what is right for you and forget what anybody else thinks.  Their opinion of your actions is their own and is just that - an opinion.  There is no right and no wrong in this situation, there is just what brings you the most comfort and ease when going through this awful time.

Do you want a tree? If you want a tree then have a tree, if you don't want one - don't get one.  No-one will think you are uncaring or callous if you do.  The children may notice if you don't, but I would think they'll be more pleased to see you. Your son evidently will know what is happening anyway.

We did continue and it was hard, but we felt that if we didn't put the tree up that first year we'd never want to do it again, but our decision was what was right for us, you must do what is right for you.

Wishing you all the best at this difficult time.

CerysM

Hi spirit. Can you speak to your son? Its such early days for you (october for me) and Id have been happy to be alone but my daughter wont hear of it, so her, boyfriend and grandson will come. He is older at 16. We have agreed no tree or decorations, except a small ceramic tree lamp we both made years ago. 

Simple dinner, no cards, 

But thats ne. You must do you. Your son will understand and kids take things in their stride. If they ask, be honest. They may ask why you are sad or crying, tell them.  

I am dreading it, just want it over. I know we will be together and it will be ok, and we will talk about Tony, and cry. we will survive it.

And you will too.

Higs x