I would like to wake from this nightmare now please

Well done me to  8th August was my husbands birthday x 

If I can do it you can 

Yes, I can. I just need to have a “Kick up the Backside Day”. I am also thinking about joining a bell ringing group. It looks like a laugh. You can do a trial session, and then go to the pub afterwards.  Kate. Xxx

I'm not a `coffee morning/evening` person. I like to try to do things on my own. Went back to the gym on Sunday. I actually felt a lot better after that wee workout  so hopefully I can start getting myself back to that again. Back to my knitting as well it's right what they say it's very therapeutic. Don't have my granddaughter this weekend so got `the weekend off` but I've been slotted in for two Tuesdays in August before she starts school. Just doing things as said a day at a time. Is all we can do. Take Care. 

Vicky xx

I tried the bereavement coffee morning here twice and found it wasn’t for me. 
Like others it was a small group having a chat over coffee and cake. Talking about tv, films, books etc.  
I can get that with the people at my volunteer job. 
In fact I get more from them as 90% have lost their other halves and we all talk about them. 
We know each others loved ones names…….I think I know more of the other halves names than the volunteers names

I also get so much form the weekly crafting group. 
I think lots of you know, this is a small group of us with mental health or physical issues. 
We are all so supportive of each other without being intrusive. 
Sometimes I can be very quiet, or someone else is. They leave me be until I either open up or start coming out of it.  
I think it also helps that we all do very different things. The 2 lads draw, 1 girl crochets, 1 knits, a couple paint, one makes felt pictures and I collage.

But with the coffee mornings, like you say, it gets you out the house and talking to new faces.

I Saw this MrsVT and thought about you and your conversation the other day, from Megan devine:

Expecting them to reappear is #PerfectlyNormal in grief. You're not alone if you catching yourself expecting your person to walk through the front door, to be home when you get there, to be in a specific area or room…

If you keep expecting them to be right where they always were — as though they were never gone — you aren’t weird, you’re grieving.⁣
⁣
There’s an intense cognitive dissonance that comes with grief.

Suddenly your brain has to codify and collate an impossible new reality into itself. The data presented doesn’t make any logical sense.

There has never been anything like this event, so there is no way to connect or relate it to anything else. Your brain cannot make this new reality fit.

Like your heart, your brain resists this loss — it can’t possibly be true.⁣
⁣
That someone has died doesn’t necessarily make their death feel real. And it doesn’t stop you from expecting to see them where they ought to be.

It hurts like hell, and it’s so very normal. ⁣

PBD7, thank you for this.

It makes so much sense as this is what is happening with me at the moment. 

Logically I know my beautiful Valen has passed away, especially with is casket right in my face! 
But my brain, my head, my heart , my very fibres just don’t get it yet. 
They have not caught on to this fact. This reality. This unreal life. 
It’s good to know I am not mad or weird, just normal

I have the book. I ordered it 2 months ago. 
It’s still in the package it came in, unopened. I can’t face getting it out. 
My friend has kindly said I can open it with her so if I need to cry, her shoulder will be available. I am now, seeing what you have written, determined to open it when I see her next Tuesday.  xx

This particular book has been extremely helpful to me. The validation and acknowledgement of our loss are extremely important. When I am in a period of despair, this is the only book that helps. I have dipped in and out over the last few months. Yes, I have also sobbed a lot whilst reading it, however, it also reaches my deep inner self. I had nothing to lose, so I went for it. Kate. Xxx 

Whereabouts are you or aren't we meant to say.  ?  I'd have felt same about group.  Esp the table thing . Why?? Sounds too formal. .. and  I am 59.  

You're welcome, glad it helped. Its like our brains and hearts need to catch up to reality but they don't want to can't or refuse to.

I'm struggling with the book too, I've had it months now and am only about a 5th of the way through. I don't know what it is, whether it's concentration or not being able to read like I used to or what but I haven't managed to get through it yet. Following her posts is easier at the moment. Succinct and to the point. 

Which book is this...thanks.