Another day nothing really achieved apart from I did get to the food shop and remembered my bag so that was progress I suppose. Didn’t get much apart from the basics and some lovely fruit and returned home alone. A bit of paperwork and organising. Just had a sandwich again for tea which I know isn’t sufficient. And back in bed. I have a problem with Friday nights not that we did anything or went out it’s just I suppose most people would look forward to the weekend ahead.My weekend ahead this week is at at work I suppose then I have to get up and get there I struggled with that the other day and messed something up but I did sort it when I realised I’d made a mistake!
I spent most of the late afternoon in bed again! My husband would now be telling me off saying you got to eat something sensible, stop being daft and probably say stop moping about get out into the garden there Is plenty to do out there. I really am missing his voice his company. I get tears that come so quickly and easily. I was on the phone to marks and Spencer credit card about something some lovely chap helped me get something sorted them he said I’d mentioned earlier re my husbands recent passing is there any other things I need to sort or help with today …even that started me off again he was so understanding but I bet he thought silly woman.
I went into my wardrobe today too not to scream but it’s a good hiding place I’ll remember that - i did smell an old cardy and folded a jumper up that just felt so nice and looked at some suits that in time I will probably sell.
I did feel I needed to talk today to someone but didn’t know who to call so instead I’m on here. Been talking plenty to my husband though too. Quite often he just listened to me waffling on, nodding in the right places occasionally. I would come back from work my cuppa tea would be ready and he knew he would have to listen to me for a bit.
I looked at photos before I came to bed on his iPad sometimes that makes me so sad seeing him so happy and well in past photos remembering the fun we had that we will never get back again.
7 weeks coming Tuesday only - I know it’s not long but it’s so crazy how much it changes things and your outlook on life!
Your not rambling. I always thing I waffle on too much at times. I suppose it's just not having anyone you love next to you to talk to.
Glad your party went better than expected. I'm hoping for some decent roast beef.
August a difficult month here too his birthday and mine. Good luck with your planning and having something to focus on if you decide to go ahead with it.
Thank you for understanding.. Roast beef sounds lovely. You are right about having that person you love next to you. We always talked through ideas and plans. They were usually mine, and he would say, “Yes, Darling, do what you would like to do” and then laugh. He knew that I had already decided on a plan of action, and just went with it. I miss him so much. Kate. Xxx
When I go out and start to feel stressed or anxious, I have Sue's wedding and eternity rings on a celtic cross chain around my neck. I find myself holding them. Sue bought me the chain.
Yes, my husband indulged what I suspect he thought were my foibles in the same way. So we have second son's wedding next week and other children are flying in from China and Australia with partners. So I have to get the house looking clean and tidy. Most people would do a vacuum. I painted the floors. I can imagine Bruce giggling away. The floors look good but are too yellow ...
Whatever cancer throws your way, we’re right there with you.
We’re here to provide physical, financial and emotional support.
© Macmillan Cancer Support 2025 © Macmillan Cancer Support, registered charity in England and Wales (261017), Scotland (SC039907) and the Isle of Man (604). Also operating in Northern Ireland. A company limited by guarantee, registered in England and Wales company number 2400969. Isle of Man company number 4694F. Registered office: 3rd Floor, Bronze Building, The Forge, 105 Sumner Street, London, SE1 9HZ. VAT no: 668265007