Lost my husband

My lovely sister in law keeps saying she does not want me to be lonely. I love her dearly but lonely does not describe this feeling. It's more like half of me is missing and I don't think you can understand this unless you experience it, and this is a feeling that I hope she does not have for a very long time if at all.

I have never experienced pain like it. I felt the need to apologise to my sister who lost her husband 4 years ago, I really had no idea what she went through until it happened to me. I just can’t begin to see what my future looks like

I understand exactly what you are saying, lonely does not come close, there is just a gaping hole where they should be and nothing fills it.

My mum lost my dad 30 years ago and has spent all that time alone, I find myself having a whole new respect for what she went through now too, no one knows this pain until they lose the other half of themselves.

hello everyone

My heart goes out to each and everyone of you for your pain and suffering. I know what it’s like as my darling Wife passed away almost 18 months ago. We had been married for 45 years but had known each other for a few years Before that.

I get through each minute each hour and each day and there are times when I feel as if I have slipped into an alternate reality where I do not belong. I am not lonely but I am alone because the far far better part of me is no longer here. The person I was before has also gone and there are times when I think I do not want to wake up in the morning. I keep going for the sake of my dear son and his wife and our beloved four cats who are a great blessing.

All my life I studied hard and passed all my exams at academic and professional level. I had an important public job. but there are times now when I feel very lost and bewildered. I have come to realise that many of us feel we have some degree of control over our lives be it financial, personal, professional or in relationships but the grim reality is that we really have hardly any control at all. Before my beloved Wife passed away I thought I knew a lot about many things. I had quite fixed opinions and beliefs but now I have come to realise that I really know nothing at all about anything . The old saying that time is a great healer is simply not true. It may be, and I can only hope, that time makes grief easier to live with but it cannot be healed and it will never go away.

I hope you will forgive my ramblings, but remember my thoughts and best wishes are with you all. I embrace you all with love, compassion, and understanding.

My hubby and I both enjoyed the music of an American singer called Alison Krauss. There is one of her songs called " way down the river". When we heard it we used to tell each other to listen to that if we were left alone.

I actually listened to it today and it actually made me smile. 

I lost my partner of nearly 18 years on Christmas Day.  Diagnosed in August.  Dealing with that was horrendous.  I feel like the pain and missing him gets worse as time goes by. I cry everyday and some days are worse than others.  People just say ' I can't imagine ' and I say no u can't cos you've still got your partner!. I cry at songs we used to love going to gigs together. I can randomly burst into tears at anytime . I apologise to people as I feel like I'm the fun sponge. Such a cruel cruel disease and I'm not the person I was anymore a part of me has died now and although I have 2 grown up children I'm just waiting to see my partner again.  Big hugs to you x

I hope to be able to enjoy things we both liked together. At the moment I can’t even look at his photo or listen to any music or watch TV, it’s just too painful 

Sending you love, I can’t cry just now I don’t know why. I think if I start to cry I’ll never stop.

• People say it gets easier but I don't want the pain to go as don't want to move on..forget him..stop hurting over losing him. I sleep with his dressing gown and he only had that when he got poorly but I know he wore it alot then. The pain in your heart is torture, you can't explain how bad. I say everyday is a day of survival. You just go through the motions . Big hug to you x